I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant with my 1st in fact it was on my birthday that I found out. I hadn’t long moved away. Away from my real mum and my childhood town to live near my dad. I was living on my own when I met Mark my babies dad. Things were great at 1st, he had just got out of jail for theft but I had never been happier.
We used to sit up all night talking and watching the stars, I’d previously had a really bad relationship were I had been cheated on numerously and treat like crap. This was the best I’d ever had. How wrong was I?
He was 18, I was just turning 19. Things were great at 1st, we went to all the midwife appointments together, to the first scan and then everything changed.
He became moody and snapped a lot, then one day he hit me.
I was in shock at first and believed him when he said he didn’t mean it.
Things carried on and so did the mood swings and the sly slaps if things didn’t go his way. I couldn’t leave I thought I loved him. I needed to be with someone, after all who would want to be with a pregnant girl who couldn’t stop her partner hitting her?
I’d always had to be with someone. I think it had something to do with not having my dad around as a child, I needed that connection.
One day I plucked up the courage to leave him but he wouldn’t let me so I stayed, by this point the slaps were daily. He was cheating and it was my fault. I wasn’t allowed to wear make up or have any friends. If I went to a friends he had to come.
One day he introduced me to one of his friends he was called Rob, he was a lot older than me he was 26. I was 19 but he seemed really nice, wouldn’t hurt a fly, he new what was going on and he eventually helped me leave.
It was the day of my sexing scan, we were having a boy. When we got home he hit me, told me I was useless as he wanted a girl. He told me to get rid of my baby or he would do it for me. He stormed out and I seen red how dare he tell me to get rid of my baby.
I rang Rob and he came round, helped me pack and took me to his, Mark tried everything, he put the windows through, stalked the house constantly but I was finally away .I was safe, my baby was safe and I wasn’t going anywhere.
Me and Rob became a couple, he was willing to bring my son up as his own. Mark eventually gave up and moved away. Things had never been better and I was happy really happy, Rob didn’t hit me and he treat me like a princess maybe I should have known things were to good to be true. I was 32 weeks pregnant when I received the call, it was social services, Mark had been in contact with them about my relationship with Rob, but why?
They asked me to come into the office so I could talk. it was arranged for the following week. I told rob about the phone call and he went lilly white and walked out, why?
Why did he walk out what was he hiding?
Two days later he came home. He had been staying at a friends. I had questions, what was wrong? Where had he been?
He told me he would tell me in time. It was Tuesday and my appointment was set for Thursday with social services, he called my dad and my step mum round and told us everything.
He had previously been in a relationship with a woman with 3 kids, her youngest was a little girl 6 months old, her mum had been beating her and Rob had got the blame . He was arrested and was sent down for 5 years, but he didn’t do it, he swore blind he didn’t do it, I believed him.
Thursday came and we both went to the appointment, they told me Rob wasn’t allowed near children and that if I left him there and then they wouldn’t take it any further. I refused and a meeting was organised.
They told me I would have my baby taken off me at birth if I didn’t leave him but still I stayed.
When the big meeting came Rob didn’t come, there was loads of people there, police, health visitors, social workers, my midwife, my mum came up with my dad , my step mum and Mark. My heart dropped when I seen him I couldn’t do it, Why should I be in the same room as him? My mum made me go in, she seemed so upset she was scared!
The meeting started and they asked us who we were and what relation to my son, it got to Mark and he said well apparently I’m the dad but you never know she’s a slag! How dare he? I never cheated, I never even had the bloody chance. Anyway the meeting went on and the police read me the police report.
This little girl had broken legs, arms , hips and burn marks . She had bite marks too, the list went on.
I was horrified but one question kept going over and over in my head ‘how did they no it was Rob?
I eventually plucked up the courage to ask the question, the reply made me go cold ‘the bite mark it was Rob’s they did a mold of his mouth and it was him.
My boyfriend was in prison for leaving bite marks on a 6 month old baby
He did it
How could I have been so stupid?
Why didn’t I listen?
I could have had my son taken off me all because I didn’t listen. I didn’t see the facts.
By this point Mark was laughing, he thought it was great that I could have my son taken off me. Social Services were doing the job he couldn’t. I agreed to end my relationship and if I could prove it my son would be put on a child protection plan, but wouldn’t be taken off me.
Eventually he moved back to where he was from and I was on my own again. He still kept texting and ringing me, he wouldn’t let me be.
Social services were happy he had gone and my son wasn’t going to get taken off me, a week later through all the stress I went into labour. My baby boy was born, he was fine ,he was healthy he was mine. But that was only the start. Week after week I had meetings, I couldn’t leave the country with my son, I couldn’t do anything without their permission.
Six months later I met my current partner, we clicked straight away and once Social Services did a check and he was clear.
When my son was 18 months old Social Services left us and we didn’t need them anymore. I had another baby on the way I was safe.
Now to this day I still have problems with Mark but my partner wont let anyone hurt me or our children I now have 2 beautiful little boys an I’m 12 week pregnant with my 3rd.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is either a member of my Facebook mums group, a Twitter follower or has been submitted to me via email. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me. You could help us share the blogs love to helping others by sharing via the social sharing buttons.