I bought a journal today. A very special journal that I can fill out and give to my son when hes ready to read it. I’m reaching out to him the only way I can find.
My sons twelve this year and hormones have hit hard. Most days with no exaggeration he hates me. Revels in my misery. Hes like chucky on crack.
Its hard to be his mum. If I am honest and sometimes its hard to love my son.
We have no common ground, nothing. He doesn’t want to be around me as I am the one that implements rules. I’m the evil one. And quite frankly I don’t want to be around him most of the time. We just don’t work well together.
But, hes my son and I am not going to stop trying to reach out to him. So on amazon I stumbled on a journal that asks me questions about my life before him, with him, since him.
Its a way for him to know me, to find things out about me without having to ask me as we are not there yet with that. Its a keepsake of me for him. I want him to know I wasn’t always this shouting, crying stupid mother whose useless and feels useless when he tears shreds out of me.
That I have a lot of happy memories of him as a child and that I believe that one day we will find a way to move past or around or through our inability to connect with each other and be friends.
Until then this journal will be my tool of teaching him about his mum.
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hugs x x
i really hope you find ways throug it, and the journal is a fab idea xx