Its Hard To Love My Son

ID 10024832 Its Hard To Love My Son

I bought a journal today. A very special journal that I can fill out and give to my son when hes ready to read it. I’m reaching out to him the only way I can find.

My sons twelve this year and hormones have hit hard. Most days with no exaggeration he hates me. Revels in my misery. Hes like chucky on crack.

Its hard to be his mum. If I am honest and sometimes its hard to love my son.

We have no common ground, nothing. He doesn’t want to be around me as I am the one that implements rules. I’m the evil one. And quite frankly I don’t want to be around him most of the time. We just don’t work well together.

But, hes my son and I am not going to stop trying to reach out to him. So on amazon I stumbled on a journal that asks me questions about my life before him, with him, since him.

Its a way for him to know me, to find things out about me without having to ask me as we are not there yet with that. Its a keepsake of me for him. I want him to know I wasn’t always this shouting, crying stupid mother whose useless and feels useless when he tears shreds out of me.

That I have a lot of happy memories of him as a child and that I believe that one day we will find a way to move past or around or through our inability to connect with each other and be friends.

Until then this journal will be my tool of teaching him about his mum.

 

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By The Real Supermum on February 10, 2013 · Posted in Controversial

28 Comments | Post Comment

Emma White (@TheRealSupermum) says:

Its Hard To Love My Son http://t.co/3MMagmwt

Posted on February 10th, 2013

Angie T says:

Bless u hunni, I think this is a fab idea for u to do , stay strong n u know u have alot of support behind u , massive big hugs xxxx

Posted on February 10th, 2013

kirstie-lea bonsell says:

I think this is a great idea to reach out to him <3 (big hugs ) xxxxxxxx

Posted on February 10th, 2013

Jessica Markham says:

think its a good idea hunni, big hugs x x

Posted on February 10th, 2013

Emma White (@TheRealSupermum) says:

its Hard To Love My Son, http://t.co/8Albwdou

Posted on February 10th, 2013

Sarah Falco says:

What a good idea huni be strong hope it works for u n ur son xx

Posted on February 10th, 2013

Samantha Odell says:

Really good idea hun :-) hugs x x

Posted on February 10th, 2013

anon says:

Aww hunni you are not a useless mum at all motherhood can be hard at times its like a rollercoaster u hav ur ups and your downs im sure you love your son more than you or he could ever imagine and the journel is a fab idea also mayb get another journel to write down all the beutiful memories you have together that he may have forgotton that you wil never forget and this may help too as its all the good happy times u shared together and thats what its all about gud luck hun big hugs x x x

Posted on February 10th, 2013

Carol says:

The notebooks a good idea, stick with it, I’m sure things will get better.

Posted on February 10th, 2013

Mummy_LaLa says:

fab idea hun, big hugs xx

Posted on February 10th, 2013

Emma White (@TheRealSupermum) says:

Its Hard To Love My Son http://t.co/PYqNNdtN

Posted on February 10th, 2013

kylie says:

What a great idea, I think your such a brave women for not giving up I hope you and your son find some common ground in the end. Hugs hun xxx

Posted on February 12th, 2013

loretta says:

i can totally understand how the woman that wrote this post feels heartbreaking as it is i feel the same way with my eldest but for totally different reasons :-( i really hope you find ways throug it, and the journal is a fab idea xx

Posted on February 12th, 2013

Maria says:

great idea, big hugs x

Posted on February 12th, 2013

Kayile says:

what a great idea!! hopefully it helps your son understand and that you both r close again xxx
xx big hugs xx

Posted on February 13th, 2013

suzanne says:

I think this is a great idea I might do a similar book for my son when hes older :)
and I think ur son will enjoy reading what the book has to say :)

Posted on February 13th, 2013

Sarah r says:

I hope one day you find your way together

Posted on February 25th, 2013

louise says:

good idea, hope it is of some benefit to you, hugs xx

Posted on March 4th, 2013

Kate Foley says:

Sounds like a fab idea <3

Posted on March 21st, 2013

Sandie says:

i think its a good idea to – its like your little release after a bad day. xx

Posted on March 22nd, 2013

Emma Stephen says:

Great idea Hun xx keep at it x

Posted on March 28th, 2013

Shell Bell says:

This was mine and I thought I would update.
He found the book, took it and filled it with how much he hates me and then put it back.
96 fun filled pages.
My oh made me throw it away so I dont dwell on it but the thought was there. If anyone wants one they are on amazon and worth the money. They do all sorts of diferent ones so you can choose who you give one too and make it personal to them. I should get a job promoting amazon

Posted on April 15th, 2013

Colleen says:

I never expected him to find the book and do such evil things when you were trying so hard to show him how much you love him. I am so very sorry. I know how you feel. Never doubt we are great moms, who have unfortunately given birth to monsters. I wish I could say it would get better, but mine is 26 and it’s getting worse. We were once very very close. Then an evil “man” came into her life and turn her against me. I pray you and your son will not end up like me and my daughter. I would not wish this one my worse enemy. I want my little baby girl back! Sometimes I wished I would have abandoned her when she turned 12 and evil. Then she would now love me unconditionally since it appears that is how it works. You love your child giving them everything wanting better than you had and they hate you. You abandon your child or beat them and they love you unconditionally. Does not make sense to me, but that is how it seems to be. Sending tons of hugs and prayers for your family. xo

Posted on April 29th, 2013

Steph T says:

Lovely idea I’m thinking if doing the same! My 13 year old daughter is a nightmare at home, school everywhere. I understand where you are coming from although I dnt find it hard to try and reach out she just finds it difficult to understand me and rules but I’m hoping we get there eventually x

Posted on April 29th, 2013

Krista F. says:

Maybe counselling is the best option and maybe speak to your gp about recommending an endocrinologist. It could be an imbalance with hormones. Dont give up. hugs to you mama. I can only hope you figure it out

Posted on April 29th, 2013

steph says:

o hun im sorry he reacted in this way :( … he will realise when he is older how bad he was at this age…iv seen it with my nephew hes now 22 and has 2 boys. he was vile to my sister really bad, but now hes grown up..(taken a long time) but hes done it…hugs to you xx

Posted on April 29th, 2013

Shell Bell says:

Colleen while I understand where you are coming from as this is my blog post im going to stop you right there and say I have NOT given birth to a monster. My son is not a monster and im actually really pissed off that you would dare liken him to one.

That said, since I wrote this it has become apparant my son has a condition where he has a influx of male hormones surging through him hence the rages. He is on medication for that and its a slow process. A working progress.

In the case of your daughter as you havent said specifically im going to assume something bad was done to her? If thats correct then her behaviour is a direct result of that and its definately not personal to you.
I know it feels like it.
Dont give up on your daughter, and dont call her a monster shes obviously hurting and lashing out. Get her some help. Someone to help her through her issues. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Thats your child so never stop trying.

Posted on April 30th, 2013

Angie T says:

big hugs hunni, i think ur idea is fab, my mum actully did this for my brother when he was 8yrs old , its not easy having a child thats so family distructive as i know been the sister to one n seeing the damage it does, i hope one day things will finelly work out n u have a loving relationship once more xx

Posted on April 30th, 2013