So I decide to go for a long hot soak in the bath and yes you guessed it, this never happened.
I ran the bath and added my luxury bubbles, that I keep on the top shelf away from the kids and had grabbed my PJS ready and placed them on the little unit.
I got into a tepid cold bath, great the kids had used all the hot water. I wasn’t waiting till the boiler decided to give me more so got in.
That’s when I saw it, with big beady eyes and legs as long as ten inches. A spider swimming towards my leg aggghhhhhh
I jumped out splashing water everywhere screaming for my 9 year old son to come and save me. I grabbed a towel to cover what little modesty my kids allow me to have. He caught the damn thing in a plastic beaker and as he threatened to throw it at me, I warned him he would loose a months worth of pocket money. He soon changed his mind and took it downstairs to dispose of.
I got back into my cold bath and as I lay there I had a thought shit, the bath water had turned red, either I was loosing my insides or I was part of a horror movie. Thankfully I remembered I had died my hair red the other day and I must not have washed it out enough.
So there I lay in my bright red cold water wondering why I had not had a shower. I grabbed some sex in the city bottle, belonging to my teen and wondered why the hell the white stuff was not lathering up and just stuck to me. It was body lotion not body wash!
Then looking in the mirror I saw my tash! Yes I had it waxed before I went on holiday and its grown back, twice as thick ! Help!
Getting out the bath to find my PJS had become soaking after falling onto the wet floor and the radiator not on capped it for me. I will have a shower next time.