I’m so tired and worn out, I just need to off load. I wanna scream. I’ve had my ex here staying for a bit for our little girls birthday. We have been talking and getting along until last night.
I went to bed and was just nodding off to sleep when I heard him creeping in my room.
I pretended to be asleep as wanted to know what he was doing.
He lay down on the bed, grabbed my hand and placed it on his privates and started rubbing. I totally froze I couldn’t speak and wanted to know just how far he would go.
He then put his hand down my pants and you can guess the rest. I wanted to scream at this point but my little one was sleeping in the next room.
Then he took my pants off and started trying to stick it in, all this time he believed I was sleeping.
I opened my eyes and asked him what the hell he thought he was doing to which he said “you started this”
I told him to get off , to stop but he carried on till he was finished.
I don’t know how to feel. I feel torn apart, heartbroken like I’ve never knew this man, he’s casually just acting like nothings happened but he must feel guilty as keeps asking if I’m OK.
I just don’t know what to do. I phoned police to make a statement but I don’t feel strong enough to go through with it.
I was raped and battered at 16 and this has brought bk terrible memories. I just want to scream and cry.
I feel totaly numb. Its made me sick I can’t even look at this man. I feel I don’t even know him any more, he knows what happend to me when I was younger which makes it worse.
I just want to believe this aint happening and it all to stop.
I can’t get the morning after pill asI can’t get anywhere for the snow, there’s no clinics near by to me and I don’t get payed till Monday and its about 30 quid in chemists.
I really just don’t know what to do.
This blog post is an anonymous guest post submitted to the blog in the hope of gaining support and advice.