I’m in the midst of an anxious relapse.
I recently was told some shocking information that has rocked me to my core. Something that has been ripping away from something I hold dear.
It is also something that I am, at present, unable to discuss.
I have fallen to the wayside. Stopped taking my medication, started to shun my closest friends. Started to act more like I did when I was a wild teen.
I have reached a crossroads. The time has come to make a decision. Do I keep spiralling downwards in this self-destructive manner, or do I dust myself off and get practical.
The world keeps turning, no matter how much I want it to stop. Decisions are being made that I have no control over. The downside is I need control, but it is the one thing I don’t have over my future right now. So I am trying to exert some over the remaining parts of my life unaffected by the upcoming decision.
However, how do I move on without knowing anything about what is coming?
The biggest part of my self-destruction is evident in my eating. In just 3 weeks I have managed to binge my way up 3 dress sizes. You have to admit that is impressive. It is now so difficult to pull back into any sort of normalcy into my eating, I still have my citalopram sitting in my bag. I haven’t taken it yet, but can see reason to begin again. It lessens the knot in my stomach that I eat to force down.
Writing is what I know, and for the main part also who I am. This is a confession without the actual confession.
When I can talk about this everything will become so much simpler again. And I for one cannot wait for this to happen.
About beebeecavendish
Coping With Relapses http://t.co/KdycL3GY
Big hugs!! Hope things are better soon xx
Hugs hun, it will get better in time xxx
I have too just gone through a replase, please remember who you seeked help for last time, also citopram is a help but you need too talk to someone xxxx
Hugs xxxx
Huge hugs x
It will get better in time x
Big hugs huni xxx well done for writing about your feelings, wish there was something we could do to help more than a cyber hug. But altho thats all i can do i am sending you loads!! xxx
BIg hugs hun, you know you can get through it, stay positive and keep going xx
Hugs xx
Big hugs xxx
awww hun xxxxx
awww hunni, big hugs hope it all sorts its self soon xx
Big hugs, hoping it will get better xx
it will get better in time. big hugs xxx