I’m writing this blog to make a point that domestic violence isn’t as black and white as people often think, women who hit men are not often heard of. I want to help raise awareness of the fact that it isn’t always a man hitting a woman.. Sometimes a woman is the instigator. I was.
When I first met my partner in November 2009, we hit it off straight away. We got together on 12th December 2009. And since that day we have been through hell and high water to get to where we are now. We have gone through loss of a child, birth of a rainbow baby, my personal battle with post natal depression. Which I feel would be a good place for me to start
After giving birth to my son in July 2011, immediately I deep down knew something wasn’t right. I didn’t feel anything. Nothing at all, I didn’t get the supposed ”rush of love” when I set eyes on my son for the first time. I didn’t get that wholesome happy feeling. Everything couldn’t have felt much worse. I knew I should of been happy, I was a new mom after losing our daughter almost a year before I should have been counting my blessings. And I was grateful, just not happy.
Domestic Violence; Women Who Hit Men My Story
We moved into our first family home when our son was 6 weeks old in September 2011. I kept my painted smile on, at first things weren’t too bad between us. Then one night it began. I had been trying to talk to my partner, he made it obvious he wasn’t listening to me, I was so enraged that he wasn’t listening to what I was saying. I stormed upstairs. My immediate reaction was to chuck something. So i grabbed a bin bag of 3-6 month clothes and just chucked them out onto the hallway. My partner came up the stairs and said ”What the hell are you doing? ”.
He started to walk towards me, he was just going to stop me throwing anything else but I just lashed out. I started slapping at him like a mad woman!. He just pushed me backwards and left. The next morning he returned. I promised that it was a one off, I genuinely meant it. I couldn’t believe id lashed out at him like that.
And it stopped, for a while, until the next big argument.
I was supposed to be going and getting my hair done, but down to my anxiety caused by postnatal depression I backed out at the last minute. He couldn’t understand why I wasn’t jumping at the chance to get out and be me for a couple of hours, part of me didn’t either. But I just told him to leave me alone. He kept on. I knew he was just trying to understand why I had changed so much, to get to the bottom of everything. But I didn’t want to let him in.
I didn’t want him knowing. So I just closed up. He then said ”You know what you are crazy!’’. It just hit a nerve. No justification but I was so angry. I kicked out towards him missed him and kicked the kitchen cupboard instead, which resulted in a broken toe for me.
There was an argument after that, which got very heated. And for the first time, he retaliated, he didn’t hit me or punch me, he just kicked me in retaliation. And as soon as he had done it I saw in his eyes that he couldn’t believe what he had done.
I just broke down crying. He was there apologising asking if I was hurt and all I could say was:
”No, you didn’t hurt me anymore than I normally hurt. What am I doing? You had every right to react. Look at what I’ve done. I’ve slapped you, kicked you. Yeah I might not of battered you but that doesn’t make it okay. I’m so sorry ‘‘
He just nodded and since that day I haven’t done anything like that. We are such a different couple now, back to how we used to be. Things couldn’t be better. We are expecting our 2nd child (a big surprise) but I believe that our little surprise has brought us back together in a way?
I am ashamed of how I acted, my other half says that he doesn’t blame me because he didn’t even recognise the person I was back then and he knows I would never ever hurt him on purpose just because I could.
I know that some people might read this and think ”how on earth could she do that?!’’.. But it happened, I can’t go back and change that, even though I really wish I could.
I just felt I should write this to raise awareness that it isn’t always men who attack women; nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Women who hit men do exist.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
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