Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this.
You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up.
So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over.
You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time.
You grab that bottle of pills and take them all.
Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.
A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready.
You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep.
He tells your mum this.
Your mum goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it.
Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name.
Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mummy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.”
Your dad runs to your room.
He looks at your mum, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body.
It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry.
Your mum crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying.
The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves.
Your teachers think they were too hard on you.
Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you.
That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are.
Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school.
Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late.
And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad.Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out.
It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on.
Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot.
Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young.
Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot.
You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him.
Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days.
It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counsellor therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now.
That boy that used to tease you cuts himself.
Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love any more and just sleeps around with girls.
Your friends all go into depression.
Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried.
Your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide.
Your parents? Their marriage fell apart.
Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death.
Your mum got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day.
People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone.
Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for.
Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are.
Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you. Drop me an email if you need someone to talk too.
Please note this was found on Facebook and went viral. I did not personally write this.
About The Real Supermum
omg this made me cry..cause when ever i tried in the past i never thought of thoses who would miss me and the affect it would have on them, i always though oo well no one will notice im even gone..iv felt like it again recently and when i do i wish i wasnt here at times, then i think of my girls and everyone else, them not having a mommy and growing up without one when everyone else has there moms with them x
This is painful, but so true it makes me want to cry…. Everyday I thought people hated me because of what I did…. But this is so true because people do care… ,its powerful thing I have every read!
I have a situation I don’t known how to be myself are talk with people who I really love I once had a good friend I was so normal we talk laugh and had so much fun but suddenly I got really quieted and the person left me I have been quiet for to long I hate it because others people I love I can talk to them and hole good conversation I feel left out I am so foolish I hate myself I want to die I try drinking detergent o god kill me no one want me now been quiet is like if you were dead
Wow. Powerfull. X
This has made me realize what i tried to do was stupid of me i never thought of anyone else but myself. Im in tears. Jeesh i was so selfish i never thought once about anyone but me and my feelings. I know for sure i will never do it again xx
That was very difficult to read n made me cry on the bus x
very powerful… made me cry thinking about my little brother… and my daughter…. Makes you realise how many people you would hurt if you wanted to end it all coz you felt the world was out to get you…. x
This made me cry. So true it doesnt effect them it effect everyone else i lost my uncle a year ago two days ago to suicde its effected our family so bad essepically wife. xxx
beautifully written!
This is so vey true, whatever you do in life effects everyone who is in your life and its beautifully written
Wow a very well written blog that certainly shocks you into realising how things really are xx
At the time, all they can’t think about themselves and the long dark tunnel ahead, they just forget that every tunnel has light at the end.
People do care, a death can affect those you never met x
very powerful xx
This actually made me cry
x
This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. Go, give yourself a pat on the back for this victim-blaming bullshit. This is fucking awful, and I hope that you haven’t put that where any actually suicidal people can see it, because it will only push them closer to the edge. This was clearly written by somebody who has never been suicidal, nor dealt with anybody who is suicidal. It’s this kind of ignorance that pushes people over the edge.
Then you have never read any other part of my blog – ggrrrr
I am with you. Grrrrrr Reid doesn’t have to like it, but this persons LANGUAGE is more of a turnoff..then anything else!!!!! I know MANY that have loved this!~
I hope Reid’s ignorance doesn’t push people over the edge to suicide! Good Lord!
thanks
Can i just say! Im suicidal and attempted suicide !! This has made me realize who it would affect so stop running your mouth as this has helped me alot! FOOL
Whoever write that comment about not understanding is from a different planet. I have attempted suucide in excess of 20 times I also still suffer from suicidal thoughts. Maybe this person should stop trolling sites too complex for them to understand and stick to CBBC or something
Thanks chick, I too as you know have attempted suicide and its a regular thought pattern to me. I read this post to remind me each time those voices appear to tell myself NO you dont you fight it as look what it will do to everyone around you and it works for me.
You are the most stupid individual I have ever come across ‘Reid’. How dare you come on a SUPPORT blog and say such horrid things. Who on earth do you think you are? If you dont like it FUCK OFF. Go spread your venom some place else. As you can see from all these replies we as a group WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS BEHAVIOUR.
Emma, keep up the BRILLIANT work chick xxxxxx
Can’t be that stupid if u have taken the time to comment on it!
To the “person” who states this is stupid. I am and have been suicidal for over twenty years. I have attempted suicide over 20 times I suggest you go back to trolling children’s websites and things you can comprehend with that limited intellect you have. This is very helpful to most people who are suicidal we can help the ones that are obviously too self absorbed to give a damn about others.
So brilliantly written. Brought tears to my eyes. Really brings home who else suffers in suicide. X
Some people are thick as door stops and as dull as dish water so their only way of getting attention is to cause trouble….grow up and grow a pair!!
You ignorant pig! If you had actually taken the time to look before bitchin about something you clearly know nothing about you would know the story behind this blog! How the hell would being reminded of the people around you push you to the edge?! If you knew anything you would know that reading something like this would make you read it with your own family in mind,it would make you think twice! People like you piss me off!
Emma,as always,a beautifully written heart felt blog post xxx
Err love don’t think u have ever been suicidal commenting saying it will push u over the edge reading this if anything it’s to think about the people you love and how they will feel well done Emma as always a beautifully written peice xx
Love the fact that person used the word ‘stupidest’ ha ha
ignore the dickheads, they can’t think they know you from reading this. they’re idiots x x x
I think it’s a really good post.
Tells it how it is.
Many of us don’t think of all the things like that at the time so it’s good to point in out before it’s too late
BTW just ignore the retards hun.
x
Emma as I already told you I found your article emotional, intelligent & thought provoking. I had a troll last weekend and I understand how it can make you feel crap & play on your mind overriding all the positives but please do try to rise above it hon xxx
Reid- if you think the blog is the ” stupidest” thing you have ever read i can only suggest you re- read your own post! That my friend is the real idiotic piece of this blog!
Not only have you completely cut down its author but you have made a mockery of Emmas work on here by doing so!
Shall we have a school lesson? : FACT!- suicidal people visit this site im sure of it.
Fact: suicidal people often dont believe their death will affect anyone and so dont really consider what will happen when they are successfull. The thought pattern is simply how they feel, what they want!
Imagine for a momment if you can that a person ambles over to Emmas blog. Comes across this and reads it. Something happens whilst reading, they begin to think of their mum who would be devestated if they died. They think about how they cant do that to their mum and that leads to thinking about talking to someone. That leads to getting a ear to listen, and at the end they find the urge to die is less. Only a little bit but less all the same. They dont attempt anything that night. The next day someone notices and steps are taken to ensure safety and help.
THAT is why this post is a positive. If it changes just one persons mindset. Stops one person in its tracks and helps them to think of something else then how can that be a bad thing?
Lesson over! DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!
AMEN~~
this really made me cry
My daughter wrote this. She is 14. She’s been posting in online in different apps to get people to stop and think before they do something they can’t change. Slight change to “British” it up, but her writing. She’s an amazing kid!
Its beautifully written I saw it on Facebook my own 13 year old daughter showed me it and it touched it nerve
Wow ! That is so sad … It’s a schock to actually read how many people can e affected by one person x
this had in bits, makes you realise how many people it can affect
x
This is a real reality check
I haven’t thought of it that way and it’s heartbreaking really. I’m tearing up… I find this very sobering. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to the impact that could occur from something I do to myself. I have been suicidal since I was young and I haven’t thought of it that way.
I went through a big thing where I planned my suicide and everything. But my best friend found out and saved me, she truly is my savior. She broke down when she found out. I can’t ever kill myself because if I did I know I’d be killing her too…
This helped abit but I stil feel lik I wang them 2 feel how I feel especially the ex …
This helped a bit case I was just about 2 attempt my first cut I hurt myself I jst have never cut and today just made me realise I have nothing nothing left this is the worst day of my life
My boyfriend dumped me
My best friends all hate me
I lost my dignity …
Wow, powerfull story. Made me cry a little xx
hi everyone . i think suicide is not a solution. indeed it’s a door from thousand doors in life that people wants to open it to achieve peace . but the important point is do you realy think its a peace behind that door ? no. its only void. that all Surrounded by pain and regrets . { you cant win a game when you never try to Throw dice}. so dont you think its time to have some fun? go at a party . go to a gym. play music. try to do something that your body can accept your awesome soul. and after some days you sit on your bedroom and think about how funny this days had past and u have a better time than before. so you tell your self lets lock the suicide door for ever
have a good day. (+_o)
Amir, seriously.
If it were that simple, wouldn’t you think that there would be less suicides? Have you ever experience the hell that depression is?
Clearly not.
YOU CANNOT SNAP OUT OF DEPRESSION by going to a party…go to the gym…play music…hell getting out of bed is a miracle some days.
This is stigma my friend.
Depression is so much more than surrounding yourself with fluffy thoughts.
as if fluffy thoughts exist lol x
Ok picture this. You’ve found a way none of your children need ever see it. You’ve tried to find work for almost 1 1/2 years now. Your children and self are homeless. You live without running water, heat, and toilet facilities. The winters are cold and the clothes too small or threadbare. You tried low and very low income housing but your income is too low to qualify. Shelters won’t help because your son is over 11 years of age and males at that point are considered a threat. There are no services that will help you with medical because you make too much. You receive $885 child support and $141 alimony. The state flat out tells you that if you were deceased the kids would at least be taken into a warm house with food, clothes,bathrooms, water, and heat. Do you kill your self so your children survive or are you evil for even considering it? This is my real life situation so no rude or mean comments. I’m not selfish nor wanting to be here in this predicament but here I am some real heartfelt answers and comments would help. No I do not advocate suicide under most circumstances.
Please read this x http://www.therealsupermumblog.com/2013/03/killing/
My parents would never do that, my brother is old enough to understand and doesn’t think like that and my best friend would know better than to self-destruct like that.
I’m not the bubbly cheerful type and I only have a few friends at school. They’ll get over it soon enough. The teachers at my school aren’t the sort to quit their jobs if a student committed suicide. The whole town wouldn’t turn out for my funeral.
(I’m not being bullied or teased by any boy/boys, but I find it hard to believe my death would affect them like that for so long. I don’t have a boyfriend either, but that’s not related.)
So why shouldn’t I do it?
i.. i.. i actually cried. it’s just so.. heartbreaking
but you know what? the only people i care about are my parents and family cause i don’t even have friends or a bestfriend who would care about me that much and my teachers and classmates will forget after like a few weeks so if it wasn’t for my parents i wouldn’t have anything stopping me
I need your help, i need a way out.
drop me an email x emma@therealsupermumblog.com
This post made me feel more suicidal because I don’t have these things or people who would miss me or even find me. I don’t have these people who care about me now and no one cares if I disappear. Maybe a few online friends who would wonder why I just stopped logging on (but they probably would assume that I went out to focus on the real world outside of online life and wouldn’t worry at all). I’m in university where no one even knows my name, even to the teachers I am just a number and a grade on a piece of paper. My closest friends have moved away and do not make an effort to contact me, even if I send them daily messages or e-mails. All I have is my blades, my self-hatred and my part time job which I am losing because the owner doesn’t know how to run a business so me and my coworkers have all lost our jobs. I’ve seen three therapists in the past year and they have changed the dose and what medication I have taken numerous times. I’ve lost hope. This blog made me cry because no one would miss me or wish they were there to support me. There’s no one to reach out to and no reason to continue and that’s the truly sad thing.
drop me an email x emma@therealsupermumblog.com ITS NOT MEANT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD X
o huni
please don’t feel this way. of course people would notice you gone. you say you go to uni, then your marks wouldn’t be there so they would wonder what happened…people in your classes would notice…even if they didn’t no your name they would realise someone is missing…don’t loose hope..there is ALWAYS help there…go back to your doctors, demand they help you…if they don’t help go back, if they don’t help again go back..don’t give up. I suffer depression and I no on the bad days I feel the way you describe, I see no way out no life nothing…so u are not alone. but take each day as it comes. try to get speaking to people in your classes, little steps at a time hun. first though you need to go back to your doctors and tell them all this. big hugssss xx
Lost. Please don’t despair. You are not alone but you are in a place where your mind thinks you are alone and is taking you to that loneliness. You can fight your mind, slowly there are no fast miracles. Stay strong now. There is support for you within the university, you could access counselling. Your trauma and self hatred has a root cause and there are people who can support you through this. Don’t give up. Take the first step out of your darkness. You will be missed its your mind that is making you feel this way. You must tell it to stop and be open to therapy. Life is hard and there is a long road to happiness but you can grasp the opportunity to live. Reach out and people will reach back.
Lost it breaks my heart to read what you just put I wish I could hug you just to show you someone cares xxxxx be strong and keep pushing no matter how hard it gets there is light at the end of the tunnel I promise just keep asking for help you will find your way through the dark xxxxxxx
Look at the post another way LOST, if you were to do something then everything this young girl who wrote this was trying to do was wasted. That there is a reason to live, to give a young girl who doesnt know you hope and peace of mind to know her words meant something to someone. It doesnt have to be a negative. Its not a slap in the face as you say you dont have anyone its saying theres light and hope you just sometimes have to wait for it to be seen but its always there.
I do not find this post accurate or at all helpful. I have struggled with suicidal ideation for a long time and think the article puts the blame on the person struggling. I think we need to educate and lift up people struggling instead of sharing articles such as this that shine a negative light on suicide.
Yes, I read the article.
I also don’t think bashing each other in comments is condusive to mental health awareness.
I wanted to kill myself and this makes sence but their no one that will care for me except my family this is the only way I can find rest in my life I don’t have a girlfriend and all my mates have either moved or died
this post is f……. stupitd. I know that this was made to make suicidal people feel better(or worse about thinkink about suicide)..but mostly who would care is just your family..Everybody else..well, they have their own lifes..and in two years later..nobody rememers you.
I know a lot of people got mad at Reid, but I don’t think that he/she’s wrong. First of all, while it does serve a purpose and gets its point across, the story is a dramatized work of fiction. It’s emotionally charged and while it might help some people, it might not. As somebody who has been coping with depression for six years and has considered suicide at great length, I find it a little uncomfortable when only the aftermath of the suicide is portrayed. What people might not consider is that the idea of suicide being “cowardly and selfish” actually might make suicidal people feel even worse about themselves. The sense of guilt I have just knowing I’ve planned suicide is absolutely crushing, and while it does stop me from following through (it’s pretty much because I don’t want my parents to have to bury their child), it doesn’t make me feel any better at all.
This post can send that “selfish suicide” message, and worsen the stigma against the mentally ill. That’s what Reid meant by “victim-blaming”. I honestly don’t like this post much either… I already know that death is a part f life and people will cope eventually, or they won’t. I don’t need somebody to call me selfish for thinking that I should be able to do what I want with my life.
This makes me think of what would happen if i killed myself, no-one realises how much their words affect someone. Everyday i think of death, and everyday i wonder when my suffering will end. I even came close to killing myself once. I just hope the depression stops before my life does.
I was just about to kill myself.. Until I read this.. Now I have this page saved on my phone so next time I get low I’ll just reread this .. Thanks for taking the time to write this .. It defiantly saved My life.