We all make common thinking errors but more so when we are fuelled by anxiety, are suffering from depression or we are angry, these patterns of thinking can make our mood drop lower and we begin to feel even more crap about ourselves. It is important to recognise negative thinking errors when we feel low as it may be these thinking errors that are making us feel the way we do. (For further information read challenging negative thoughts)
Comparing Yourself To Others
We all compare ourselves to others at times; I know I do as a mother and as a blogger. But by comparing, we are not being fair to ourselves; we never see the negatives in someone we wish to be more like; we only see the things that we are not. I often feel inadequate when I compare myself against someone I respect; this is not positive thinking. We are often setting ourselves up for failure.
Assume We Know What Others Are Thinking
I have very low self-esteem and my confidence at times is at rock bottom, I allow myself to believe that others feel negative towards me, talk about me or dismiss me in some way. This is not true, how can I possibly know what others think about me, unless they were to tell me? If someone was to look at me I would believe they were thinking “Her hair is a mess” or “She isn’t a very nice person”. When in truth they may well be admiring the new hair colour or the new coat I am wearing.
There is no way of knowing what others are thinking, just because we assume that’s what they are thinking about us, is it really the truth?
The World Is Not Black And White
Sometimes there just isn’t a right way to do something, say something or how to react. There is not always an answer to the questions we have, rather than accept there is something we cannot do or change, we need to learn that there is a grey area in between everything.
There is not always good and bad, there are many areas in between these two categories. I prefer to think of myself as grey, I am not back and I am not white, I am unique in my own way. Learning to be comfy in your own skin is a positive thing to learn.
Stop Labelling Yourself
It can become a habit to label yourself; I do so as it prevents others from being able to hurt me. If I am to call myself the nutcase or crazy women, it’s putting myself down and forming an opinion of myself. I am sticking a label on my forehead so to speak. I am not too excited to have a mental illness, yet I have one, does having bipolar make me less of a person? No, so why label myself crazy women? Why can I not label myself as a “Great Mother” instead? If you are going to label yourself make sure to choose a positive one.
We all exaggerate at times, its common nature; the tiny spider in our bath tub that we are terrified of suddenly becomes a huge scary tarantula, when we scream at our partner to go get rid of it. By exaggerating we are making ourselves believe that the situation we are in is an impossible one.
Do you find yourself using any of these common thinking errors?