Thank You To My Dear Friend Maria For Reminding me
I received quite a few negative and perhaps cruel tweets last night, asking why I promote self-harming on my blog. I write about many real life issues here on the blog, I write about sexual abuse, mental health, addictions and yes self-harming amongst many other day to day topics. Just because the subjects I feel comfortable talking about are a little off the wall for some, does that give rights to allow others to subject me to question and judgement, I am wrong for doing what I do?
Perhaps you should read a few of the thank you notes and emails before you carry on the view!
I wrote how to self-harm safety purely for selfish reasons, I needed something always on hand to remind those who cut to do it safety, why? Let me explain…
Part of what I do here online is to spend time to talking to mothers and in recent weeks men who are self-harmers, usually they would automatically go off and self-harm alone, yet due to the respect I have earned from them, they now feel able to come and message me first, as if asking for permission, or to be saved.
I have a message and then a few split seconds to react and remind that mum firstly to keep safe and then to talk. Safety comes first. I do not want a child waking up to find their mother dead because you cut threw an artery, are you following? Mums who self-harm are not trying to kill themselves; they are doing it because it brings relief to them. That is why I promote safe self-harming.
Why would I tell someone to use a clean instrument to cut, we’ll let me take you back to when I was 14, I was being bullied and the girls chased me into a park, I hid, alone and scared and to pass the time I unpicked bark from the tree I was crouched behind and I stabbed at my arms and cut myself.
I had another mum approached me to thank me for reminding her to always use clean cutting materials as she was a nightmare in her own words, for using broken bottles that had laid in the back yard or bin for days. She had never thought of the possible dangers this brought.
I am changing the way some think, they are not going to stop self-harming but they remember there is one person out there who they can come to, at any given time and always be listened too and never judged.
It’s difficult, what do you say to a mother who says “Emma, sorry I feel I am letting you down but I can’t cope and I need to cut?”.
I could yell stop , don’t do it but that would be irresponsible of me as I know all too well that self-harming is not a choice, it’s a coping mechanism, I believe self-harming is a coping strategy, and if it works and keeps them strong then so be it, I stand by what they do in supporting them.
I understand the need to self-harm, I am a self-harmer.
I receive messages from mums as they are shredding up their bodies, some may read that with an open mouth and think my god why would you want to talk to people who do that. That answer is very simple, they are just as important as you and I. They just cope with things a little differently than some do that does not make them freaks. It makes them strong and inspiring, they are not hurting others, they hurt themselves, they are not dangerous or aggressive in any way, indeed many are crying out for help, yet too afraid to speak out and that’s where I come in.
I became their voice, they write about why they self-harm, you can read many of the self-harming stories and experiences right here on the blog. After the anonymous writer reads the supportive non-judgemental comments they often feel maybe they can go and speak to their GP and for the first time in their lives seek professional help, some do not and self-harming is a way of life for them.
If you are unnerved, scared or think OMG how can people do that, then you are the type of readers I need. You see by doing what I do I am raising awareness of some of the world’s most hidden taboos and I am talking about them and promoting that just because we may do things differently to you or we have a mental illness or we take drugs or have been abused, does not mean we are not as equal as you. In my eyes each and every person behind the blog posts is amazing and inspiring and you could learn something from them.
I would rather stand by what I believe in and do than follow a crowd to be accepted and fit in. I do what I do because I want to raise awareness and I want as many mothers out there who are alone to find a place they do fit in, it is you the ignorant reader and society who are to blame for the way you see things, the world is great if you live in it with your eyes closed, I say its about time you opened your eyes to the crap that really happens.
I am sorry if my blog posts offend you, but I will carry on doing what I do, with our without your support.
Related articles
About The Real Supermum
Supermum says sorry for offending you in her Supermum way
Dont read it easily offended 
http://t.co/RFxjkZvw
Hi Emma,
Long time no speak. I hope you and the family are well.
I am in total agreement with you on this. This is your blog!! You thoughts and opinions. I think it is great that you have been and are still there for those who need your support. I say a big high five to you and your posts, which I am sure that many people will agree with me on this. I for one thank you for bringing the “taboo” subjects out in the open. It should make us as readers see things in a different light, and make us think a little bit more of others.
Well done honey keep up the good work.
Sarah
i dont think u need to justify yourself to any one i think its amazing how much time u dedicate into careing and looking after others i also think what u doing is great i have self harmed in the past etc after being raped but i never knew about self harming safely at the time i had no kids and when i think of it now i probally didnt want to die i did just need like u say that relief but i cut and i did it to deeply i needed help i also overdosed and was admitted to hospital most of what i dont remember due to being in n out of sleep for the first 3 days i never knew anything about how to self harm safely but really wish i did,,i spent few years cutting away at my rms due to being bullied in school this went on right into my late teens id smash bottles on the street just to get a broken bit of glass and cut my arm i really wish back then i had the support of this group and blog and think that people need to realise that untill they are in the situation or been in it they would never truley understand i think what u do is amazing emma xxx
I honestly don’t know what to say !
The majority of your readers appreciate what you write and to them you are a lifeline and for that you hould be proud and never feel you have to apologise to those that cannot allow themselves to see the bigger picture as its ‘scary’ – to those people, I say wake up ! It’s a scary world we live in xxx
I totally agree Lisa and Fiona a BIG WELL DONE Emma bravo bravo
xxx
never say sorry for standin up & speakin out on things that you believe in if the world really was how some of these people think it is wouldn’t we live in a lovely place well sadly its not & we dont so keep doin wot your doin emma because if you help just 1 person then its worth it xx
well said emma i personally have never self harmed but i 100% agree with your blog posts to support people and raise awarness
Well said Emma, but u shouldn’t have to apologise or justify urself to other people who don’t and never will understand why self-harmers do wot they do
I Am Sorry If My Blog Posts Offend You http://t.co/RFxjkZvw
Read w/interest. Sad. Might help others. http://t.co/gvZoUnsb
Emma you know the person I was dealing with at the time you wrote the original post and what I was trying to do. I gave her the link and it made her choose wisely what to use where to cut etc.These kind of things are both hard to read and write and I can only applaud you in your for lack of a better word bravery. Yes we shouldn’t need to write things like we do but sadly as you say the urge over rides common sense I don’t cut anymore I haven’t for a long time but I am known to break my fingers etc for pain relief. If people don’t like reality then maybe they should stick to 50 shades of shit or some other pointless mind numbing fiction.
Keep up the great work many of us rely on you for support and common sense
Gary
Not a cutter, but know someone who is and I will suggest she read your post. Good work putting yourself out there like that. Takes guts.
Ann
Well said emma people need to be aware of these things and accept that it happens every day instead of being ignorant and ignoring the fact that people are suffering and can only cope while self harming xx
MT RT @TheRealSupermum Help raise awareness of self harm by reading, commenting & RT this please http://t.co/FLRc4Q3B How many will RT me?
Help raise awareness of self harm by reading, commenting & RT this please http://t.co/RFxjkZvw How many will RT me?
well said Emma…. though like others have said theres no need to justify yourself to others…. if people have a problem with your posts…. theres an “x” at top right of the page they could easily click… and leave….. keep doing what your doing… you are helping so many people… and giving insight to others!!! THANK YOU XXX
U have nothing to apologise for they shouldn’t criticise u for wanting to help others x
Thank you Emma for your admirable work in keeping mental health in the forefront of our minds. The very nature of the issue can indeed be shocking and make for uncomfortable reading. However it can be invaluable in reassuring those who are struggling that they are not alone and can also help their family and friends become more alert, aware and sensitive in how to provide support.
you have nothing to apologise for, u are there helping people that are eaching out to you when they feel they cant go to anyone else x keep it up