I didn’t sleep last night, maybe 3 or 4 hours at the most, tossing and turning and my mind racing ten to the dozen, fuelled with anxiety and racing thoughts. I was worrying about today, meeting yet another new CPN. I didn’t even know my old one was leaving, not a word, not a goodbye and no introduction to the new one taking her place.
Instead a letter arrived telling me she was leaving and in her place some man. Great a man, I don’t like men and I had only just begun to feel able to talk to the old one, so now I’m back at square one.
It took me hours this morning talking to my husband, chatting to Facebook friends and Twitter friends who gave me the support. I was a shaking wreck so asked a friend to come with me. Thankfully the surgery where I go, as I don’t want them in my house is a short walk away. Yet that short walk feels like walking down the green mile.
I arrived, struggled at reception and just handed over the appointment letter, I was shaking. I sat down and my throat was so dry, I got a plastic cup from the water dispenser and gulped it down. My poor friend is not used to seeing me so distraught. I saw the look of worry in her eyes as she made small talk to keep me occupied. I could not sit still so used the excuse to go to the toilet just to get up.
I sat no more than ten minutes when some women came and asked if I was Emma. I nodded.
She told me my CPN was not able to attend our appointment and he would phone me later this afternoon.
I felt the tears spring to my eyes
She explained he was having a bad day and these things happen
“Fucking Great” was my reply “I am having a bad day too”
She asked if I needed him to phone me today
I told her yes
I am at braking point and I have no professional support
I could go to the GP now and ask for an emergency appointment, but what can the GP do?
Yet again I have been failed by the mental health team, the support system that is meant to support me
The last time I saw anyone was about 12 weeks ago. No appointments came through. I have tried to phone my CPN on a few occasions to be told she is not available, no I do not want to leave a message; I want to speak to the women who knows what I am freaking out about. That is the very reason I have her number.
I am angry
I feel let down
I am frustrated that I had worked myself up to go and ask for the support I need right now and yet here I am sat here in my house, tears streaming down my face, my husband shouting what a fucking joke this is and my friend wanting to make a complaint.
I am lost again
Now what happens?
By the time I get another appointment I will be in a different mood and different world
I don’t want another appointment; I am too tired to fight the system
They let me down when I need them, every time
I was put under the services in November 2010 and I am no further forward
So now I sit and wait for him to phone me…
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About The Real Supermum
That really isnt fair on you hunni, big hugs x x
I truly feel for you Emma I know what you are going through and took myself out of the system quite some time back. Your stronger than you think sometimes and you will get through this. Remember I’m always around to talk anytime you need to I rarely sleep long so just message me if you need a chat.
Complain Emma. If it were any of us you would push us to make a complaint and not to stand for this behaviour, they are there to help us.
You may be too tired now but the fight comes back as you well know! So get complaining and get mad at them. We will nag you, like you nag us till you do. Xxxx
thats disgusting his having a bad day cant believe they said that so wrong and to not even be told your one before was leaving!!. big hug sxx
Awful hun big hugs
It’s disgusting the way this was handeld ! You deserve better ! X
The whole thing was handled in a really disgusting way by these so-called ‘professionals’ – hope you’re okay. It took a lot of courage for you to make your way there by the sounds of things and “him having a bad day” is no excuse at all x
Big hugs hunni xx thats isn’t fair ob you at all.xx
I am presuming as you have a care co-ordinator that you are under a community mental health team. You need to ring not the team but the customer care dept that provides the mental health services in your area to make a formal complaint. All complaints are time limited and have to be responded to. You will also need to put it in writing. If you are really struggling over the weekend you need to go to A&E and ask for a referral to the crisis team who can offer you support in the community out of hours.
They should not wait till you get there to tell you its cancelled that is discusting!! These people shud realize people like us who have mental health issues need support as much as posible. I so wish could give you a big hug, you are an amazing person emma and I really value you as a friend. xxxxxxxxxxx <3
That discussing! We all have bad days but we still have to go to work! Big hugs Hun x
Big hugs hun xx
It’s pathetic!
I’m going through pretty much the same so I understand hun x
omg thats really bad hun, complain, thats not on there people who are meant to be there for you but are letting you down big style x
big hugs beautiful that is just not fair on you i would complain you dont deserve to be treated that way xxxxx
How awful hun, I no just how much of a let down the mental health team can be. My FIL has mental health problems and it’s been 4yrs now he’s had his meds changed every 2 month’s promises of help etc etc and he’s no further to being better
x
If it was any of us in that’s same situation, you’d not only push us to complain and get it sorted, you would be the one holding the reins and showing us the way!! No-one deserves that kind of treatment from people that are meant to be helping them, especially you, who spends most of her time helping others when they are in need. Xx
these people do not seem to have any understanding of how difficult it is to even make an appointment you should put in a complaint because its simply not good enough!! huge hugs emma xxx
it’s not fair on you hun! they have no idea do they .. big massive hugs hun I know they don’t do much but =/ x
Holy crap, that’s terrible!
So angering and maddening they system allows things like this to happen. Did you get that phone call? I hope you did
Yes today at 11.30