There are various types of domestic violence it is not always physical. I have personally suffered from all sorts of abuse and have found it has been the emotional and verbal abuse that hurt me the most. In October 2007 I got with a lad from college, within a few weeks of being together I should have seen the signs.
He would ignore me at college but would be all over me when he crashed at mine. After being together a month he laughed at me a lot and said I was stupid, admittedly I was a bit daft. I spent all my time with him, which I thought was my choice. In December 2007 I was made homeless because of him always coming and staying at my hostel, he was too because despite giving him money for his rent he didn’t pay it and his hostel kicked him out.
We were staying at a friend’s flat which was difficult. One night when we were drinking he stole my fags and hid them, I asked for them back and for the first time he attacked me. He pushed me back on the sofa and grabbed me by my throat.
My instant reaction was kick get him off me and for that I was punched several times in the head.
That night to make it up to me we had sex.
On Valentine’s Day 2008 I found out I was pregnant. He insisted I took another test as I must have done it wrong, because was that stupid. Anyway I proved it, I was pregnant.
Things grew worse, more frequently I was being called a fat slag a whore a useless ugly fat bitch and he ground me down. I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone or see anyone. I was constantly accused of cheating when he knew I was at probation. I thought this was normal and would pass when I had the baby things would be ok, the lying and hurtful words would stop.
I honestly thought he would be a good dad, I knew he would. When I was 12 weeks gone we split up. I was harassed none stop. We got back together.
I was at his flat one night and another violent argument kicked off, he threw the mattress off the bed and threw me on it. He pinned me by the throat, I couldn’t breathe.
There were many violent occasions both in private and public. He hit me, threatened if I left he would kill me. He snapped my sim cards and smashed my phones.
But one night he topped it all he raped me.
He Raped Me and that was more difficult to cope with than any beating.
I felt so ashamed and alone, I had nowhere to turn. I told my mother and went to the police.
After a month or so everyone I had lost I was alone, he again promised the world, against probations advice I got back with him and dropped the charges.
Things didn’t improve he moaned the whole way through my labour, I wasn’t fast enough and he was wasting his time. We split a week after I had the baby; despite the stitches he raped me again.
I got up and left. I had all the tearful phone calls but he had got violent in front of my baby and I was never going to allow that. Even though he told me he would kill himself and all the threats I left and I moved 250 mile away and got an injunction.
My baby came first I had to protect him from a life like that
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
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