There are various types of domestic violence it is not always physical. I have personally suffered from all sorts of abuse and have found it has been the emotional and verbal abuse that hurt me the most. In October 2007 I got with a lad from college, within a few weeks of being together I should have seen the signs.
He would ignore me at college but would be all over me when he crashed at mine. After being together a month he laughed at me a lot and said I was stupid, admittedly I was a bit daft. I spent all my time with him, which I thought was my choice. In December 2007 I was made homeless because of him always coming and staying at my hostel, he was too because despite giving him money for his rent he didn’t pay it and his hostel kicked him out.
We were staying at a friend’s flat which was difficult. One night when we were drinking he stole my fags and hid them, I asked for them back and for the first time he attacked me. He pushed me back on the sofa and grabbed me by my throat.
My instant reaction was kick get him off me and for that I was punched several times in the head.
That night to make it up to me we had sex.
On Valentine’s Day 2008 I found out I was pregnant. He insisted I took another test as I must have done it wrong, because was that stupid. Anyway I proved it, I was pregnant.
Things grew worse, more frequently I was being called a fat slag a whore a useless ugly fat bitch and he ground me down. I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone or see anyone. I was constantly accused of cheating when he knew I was at probation. I thought this was normal and would pass when I had the baby things would be ok, the lying and hurtful words would stop.
I honestly thought he would be a good dad, I knew he would. When I was 12 weeks gone we split up. I was harassed none stop. We got back together.
I was at his flat one night and another violent argument kicked off, he threw the mattress off the bed and threw me on it. He pinned me by the throat, I couldn’t breathe.
There were many violent occasions both in private and public. He hit me, threatened if I left he would kill me. He snapped my sim cards and smashed my phones.
But one night he topped it all he raped me.
He Raped Me and that was more difficult to cope with than any beating.
I felt so ashamed and alone, I had nowhere to turn. I told my mother and went to the police.
After a month or so everyone I had lost I was alone, he again promised the world, against probations advice I got back with him and dropped the charges.
Things didn’t improve he moaned the whole way through my labour, I wasn’t fast enough and he was wasting his time. We split a week after I had the baby; despite the stitches he raped me again.
I got up and left. I had all the tearful phone calls but he had got violent in front of my baby and I was never going to allow that. Even though he told me he would kill himself and all the threats I left and I moved 250 mile away and got an injunction.
My baby came first I had to protect him from a life like that
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
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well donr hun xx
good for you sometimes it takes the love for your child to realize you deserve better, you weren’t the stupid one hun he was, stupid to think you would put up with the way he treated you forever , your better off without him enjoy your baby & find someone who treats you right , hope you have a lovely life xx
What a brave mummy you are well done for getting out hope you and lo have a brilliant future xx
Well done to you for getting you and your baby away! Hope you both have a lovely life and meet someone who deserves you and treats you right xx
Well done for being brave and finally getting away x
Well done hunnie for finding the strength to get away xxxxxxxx
Such a brave mummy, I’m so glad you and your baby escaped from that vile person, stay positive
xx
Well done to you. It took a lot of guts to stand up and leave him. You so did the right thing, how brave, and how strong you must feel xxx
such a brave woman hun well done xx
Well done for getting you and your baby away hun.all the best for the future xx
Big hugs hun, well done for getting away xx
Well done hun you are very brave for gettin away from it all xxx
Well done for bein brave and escaping such a disgusting creature xx
That is my post and would like to say thank you all for your kind words i am pleased to say i have now been with my new partner 3 years we have another child and are gettin married next year x
What a strong and inspirational woman u must b, to put ur child and u b4 him,well dun hun sending big hugs,ur way x
Well done for putting baby first.
You should have put yourself above him long ago but I know how hard it is.
Hope you’re okay x
well done for getting away
very strong woman for doing so but at least now you and ur baby are safe x big hugs
Well Done for making those first big steps to get away, your baby deserves better and so do you, x
Well done Hun, very brave xxx
well done for being so strong. You and your baby deserve so much better xx
Aww such a sad story hun but well done you for leaving that vile man! You are so brave and you did the best for you and your baby xx
Very brave women for getting away! Good luck for the rest of the future, well done xx
well done hun for finding the strength to get away
well done for being so brave and getting away, good luck for future xx
WellDone hunny, your very brave xxx
well done for being so brave you did the right thing for you and you child hugs xxx
so glad you found the strength to go
well done sweet, youre so brave and deserve the best xx
good for you…you got away from that monster…good luck in life! your baby is blessed to have such an amazing mum like you…xoxox
Well done for getting away such a brave lady xxx