I wrote a blog post yesterday titled boys should not play with dolls and I spoke about an issue that many parents face, when one parent has strong views regarding a certain area of parenting and the other parent disagrees.
My husband does not want his son pushing a doll and a pram when we go out for a walk, I don’t seem the harm, but because I understand and value his views we sit down like we always when we disagree about raising the children and try to compromise.
I accept my husband’s reasons and it goes back to his own upbringing and childhood. Who I am to overrule his choices? Am I always right? Do I have the right to say he must go against his own beliefs? No of course not.
My husband and I are very close and we have had to learn to be open and honest about our feelings, caring for someone with bipolar is difficult and he has proved a thousand times over what a fantastic father he is to our children. He does not always agree with me yet he accepts my views and we compromise. We respect each other which I feel is much more important when raising happy and stable children than it is to let a boy play with a doll.
I was rather upset to see a mother taking this a little too far;
Yet again another mum far too quick to judge another – ” I feel sorry for her kids” ? Why would you feel sorry for my children because my son does not carry a doll into town with him?
My little girl is 4 and loves her doll and pram and still she does not take her pram into town with us, purely because it would take us hours to get there and back.
Please do not judge my parenting skills based upon a strong view of my husbands, I respect his views. He does not have a problem at all, he as anyone does deserves to have his own choices in raising his children respected and not judged, despite if you agree or not.
I also do not feel that my son misses out on anything. all because he is not too push a pram into town?
I also have not asked anyone to understand me yet do not feel I should be judged based upon my little boys pushing a pushchair.
I will await your own opinions on this matter…
Am I wrong for compromising with my husbands views?
Is my son missing out?
Should you feel sorry for my children?
About The Real Supermum
Not all parents are the same. She may do things that she feels are right but someone else thinks is wrong. She needs to get off her high horse and realise everyone does things differently. I wouldn’t pay her any attention, you and Matt clearly have a system that works for you and good on you for it x
I totally agree with the way Matt an yourself have worked around each others veiws. In all honesty I would do it the same way too had I been faced with this problem. Your son is not missing out really is he? No, as you allow him to play with this stuff in the house. So what if he cant take it to town? Its not going to kill him is it? Highly unlikely lol.
Some people just need to get off their high horses and realize that everyone has their own way of doing things weather others agree or not. What works for you may not work for some one else, it does not then give you or them a reason to judge the other for it. Some people really do make me laugh trying to make out they are such ‘perfect’ parents whos children can do what ever they want and the ‘perfect’ parents who think everyone else in the the wrong when clearly they are making the biggest mistakes. Does my head in
At the end of the day it is up to you and Matt how you deal with a situation like this. Your son isn’t missing out on anything and not pushing a pram around will not affect him in any way, the same as pushing one around wouldn’t. People take stuff like this too far, and lets face it there are more important things to worry about in life then whether or not your son pushes a pram around! x
Personally I think if boys want to play with dolls why shouldn’t they? If harvey ever decides he wants a doll he’ll have one. His dad doesn’t like the thought of boys playing with dolls, but like I said to him – its going to be harvey playing with it, not you, he’s not hurting you in anyway so if he wants one he’ll have one.
no u have to both agree on things or u would argue about it..if i had a boy id not let him take it to town either..i dont let reanen as it would take too long and i end up having to push it lol..x
Oh tell her to sod off and eat a jaffa cake or summat! . X
No one likes to be judged for their decisions, but surely judgement is the reason that you prefer your son doesn’t play with ‘girls’ toys in public?
You said yourself in your previous post that you personally prefer him not to as well as your husband. Do/did your daughters play with toy cars or a football or ‘boys’ toys and was that as much of a problem?
My daughter pushes her ‘baby’ in her pram and stops to kick a football or pick up something boyish for a bit. This is because she’s finding out what things do and who she is and what’s most fun. It doesn’t mean that she will grow up affected or have any bearing on her personality!
If your son picks up on the idea that playing with certain toys will make him soft or ‘less of a boy’ or that his mummy and daddy disapprove of who he is then the bottom line is it could lead to problems.
But that’s just my opinion and everyone will have their own. That’s what makes life interesting!
Its ridiculous why would she feel sorry for your child. Everyone parents differently if you dont want your son on the streets with a dolly and puschair thats your decision, no one has the right to say what you can and cant do.
Oh go poke her in the eye lol x
Your son isnt missing out, its good that you and matt have a relationship like you do, not many people do now days x x
Each to their own at the end of the day … Like you Emma I have no problem with it however my partner would .. X
every on has there own views and people should accept that, i dont have a problem with my little boy playing with dolls and other things like that but i know that my oh would xx
Everyone has their own opinions. If I had a son I wouldn’t let him push a pram around town. But it is the parents choice at the end of the day. x
I don’t let any of my kids (2 girls and 1 boy) push a pram around town it takes far too long as it is. But I don;t think I would let my 4 year old son push a pram around anyway. Only because people would stare at him xx
ahh who cares what she thinks…each to there own i say. these days girls play with boys toys. boys play with girls toys. whats it gotta do with her what choices u n ur hubby make for YOUR children
tell em to go do one
Oh go and play on the motorway silly cow! X
wat a load of crap, so ur child misses out just coz hes not allowed to push a dolly buggy in the street pfft , tell them to do one xx
When did the ‘perfect parenting’ book come out??? These women new to get of their bloody high horses! My OH doesn’t like our son playing with dolls or prams but he then sees our lb’s enjoyment with it and he has now come to the point to accept his sons happiness is more important than his views. Everyone has there way of parenting no way is right you do what is eat for you and your family. It’s great that u & Matt can sit down and talk about things. Your doing a great job and I’m sure it won’t hurt him not to take dolly out up town x
Tell her to do1! I think the way you and your partner work together about stuff like this is good! I don’t think your son is missing out at all xx
Just tell em to stfu