I only work 6 hours a week, in the time I am at work my son is with his dad (goes every Friday to Sunday without fail) which means I get a bit of a break. Well I have been potty training my son as he is now 4 and just started school; well he’s mastered it at home, and has no problems what so ever using his potty or the toilet.
Yet at school he won’t do it and wears pull ups to save on accidents and them having to change him all the time. I have also noticed his dad puts him in nappies for the weekend. He wont potty train our son when he has him.I have even told him that he’s not going anymore because he can’t keep putting our son in nappies as its setting him back and I will never get him out of nappies.
I phoned my mum as she’s taking me the hospital tomorrow, I asked her if she could have my son on Saturday night so that I can go to work, she has turned around and told me that either his dad has him and I allow my son to be set back constantly so I never get him out of nappies or I give up my job.
My job is the only one thing I have for myself, it’s the only me time I have to be able to feel normal and have an adult conversation. Am I wrong to be a bit peeved off at the fact my own family won’t help me out and think I should give up my job and put my son 1st?
I work to keep myself sane and to be able to give my son treats. I very rarely buy myself anything; it’s always my son who gets 1st then the bills then me. I don’t want to have to give up my job just because my mum thinks I need to.
Firstly you have every reason to be angry with both your ex-partner and your mother. They both need to support your son, not make things difficult for you and cause him a delay.
Is childcare an option for you? Although I always advise that dads get lots of quality time too, he needs to stand up and take responsibility and accept that potty training is an important part of his son’s learning and growing up; it’s not all fun and games.
You really need to sit down with your ex and devise a plan, work together, feel as if your involving him and he may think he’s actually helping you and want to at least give it a try. Working together as a team will show your son that mum and dad are both playing the same game here, so it does not confuse him.
Stay strong and calm with your mother, you keep your job, you’re an independent women. Perhaps remind her that she will be the one missing out on time with her grandson if you find childcare.
What advice can you offer this mum?