I met my partner in January 2006 and found out we were expecting on 7th July 2006, making me 6 weeks, my due date being 3rd March 2007. A pregnancy not planned but very much wanted and loved from the minute we found out
We had our first dating scan at 14 weeks and this made it all the more real. All our midwife/ consultant appointments and scans went very well. Xmas 2006 passed and we knew that next Christmas we’d be a family. We had another scan on 27th December, our baby was kicking and so lively it made my heart melt, knowing my baby girl was fine.
New Year’s Day came and we had dinner at my partners aunties with the whole family, all eagerly asking about my pregnancy, which was going great except for period time pains in my lower back. We decided to go home at 3pm so I could have a rest.
I woke at 5pm with horrendous back and belly pains so decided to have a bath, my baby girl gave me 3 massive kicks, the pain was torture, I got back out the bath to take some Paracetamol and there it was blood streaming down my legs.
In a panic my partner ran to his uncles thinking I was in labour, we were rushed to hospital and stupidly joked we may come out of hospital with a baby (at 33 weeks).
We saw the midwife straight away who checked my bleeding, checked my blood pressure which was very high and tried to trace the baby’s heartbeat.
No heartbeat was found
She tried with 2 monitors, still no heartbeat
At this point we knew something was wrong, the senior midwife came into the room with the scan machine, and within minutes, my life crumbled.
Those dreadful words I dare not repeat again OUR baby girl had grown her wings on 1.1.2007.
I was offered a section straight away which I refused. I wanted to give birth myself, the way I’d planned it
I was induced within the hour…. things are a blur whilst I was in labour….
18.31pm on 2.1.2007 my baby girl was born.3lb exactly and 49cm long.
The most beautiful angel I had ever seen. OUR daughter, WHY our daughter?
I was rushed to theatre once I’d given birth, because my placenta was stuck. We were then put in to a bereavement suite where my partner stayed with me. We had Josephine with us for 4 days, where we had her blessed; we then went home to our empty house, full of baby stuff.
It was the most heart-breaking thing ever.
We visited Josephine in the chapel of rest twice and then the day before her funeral she came home for the night, in her little white coffin.
I lay on the sofa and held her hand all night, wishing she would wake up.
Her funeral was held 11th January 2007, when we said our final goodbyes, we put a picture of us in her coffin, along with a very special teddy, and a necklace, the identical necklace I still wear to this day.
Her daddy carried her little coffin into the church where we had a little service, walking in we played “baby girls window” by Robbie Williams, my mum who’s now in heaven with my angel wrote and read out some very special poems.
On our way out it was twinkle twinkle little star. Again her daddy carried her to her grave, where lots of family and friends were waiting.
Now finally after over 4 years of waiting my princess has the headstone she deserves.
Not a day goes by that we do not talk about her or to her, my baby girl Josephine. Mummy & daddy miss you so much, you have made me the person I am today, a very proud mummy to an angel.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
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