” How can you love someone with a mental illness? ” is a question I have fired at, screamed at and on nicer days asked my husband. It’s something that has hounded the last 6 years of our relationship and still although I have now accepted he does love me warts and all, it has not always been that way.
I have been hurtful, cruel and out of order on far too many occasions, I have done things I am not proud of and always, always has he stood by me.
He has watched the women he fell in love with, the happy, go lucky, larger than life lover drop into a deep depressive hole with no escape. I believe he met me in a manic mood, where everything in my life, including me was perfect; of course this was not true.
I made him love him, to him I was perfect and he still reassures me he feels the exact same, if not more now because he has seen how much strength I have.
It is not difficult to love someone with a mental illness, you cannot help who you fall in love with but it can be difficult to live with someone with bipolar in my case.
Can you image his face when I whispered “Help, my shrink is trying to poison me”.
My husband is my best friend, I can tell him things I can’t tell anyone else, yet I do try to shield him as much as I can about my crazy world.
I do think having incredible patience and understanding is vital, to love someone with a mental illness must be a tough challenge and a never ending battle. Just when you think you have got somewhere and you’re moving forward and you start to imagine a future, BANG, your life is turned upside again.
My husband does get angry and frustrated at me, especially when I don’t take my medications or don’t take the correct care of myself. Caring for someone with a mental illness is difficult. What hurts him more is watching me hurt. It destroys him to have to watch me lose control and claw and fight my way back through the dirt.
When I am lost in the black tunnel of despair he takes over. He has to be both mum and dad to our children and that is difficult for me to accept, that I cannot always control the things that happen in my life.
I have written a letter of apology to my children and it highlights some of the things that my husband has had to deal with, all because he decided to love someone with a mental illness.
He reminds me that he loves me despite my “crazy mind” and it’s what makes me so special to him. I was mentally ill when I met him; it just took a few more years before I was finally diagnosed. I do feel I robbed him, wonder if he knew what I was; would he still have taken me on? He assures me he would have and says I will never get rid of him now. It seems as if I’m stuck with him.
To love someone with mental illness is easy; you just listen to your heart. We are still loveable and we deserve respect and loyalty as much as any non-mentally ill partner.
Our marriage is normal, we get on, we laugh and we cry, we argue and then we make up. OK so we have a few little hurdles in between but hey we can’t all be perfect.
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i have a lot of respect and admiration for you both as does my partner. you have shown us and the world that just because you are ill doesnt mean you cant be loved xxxx
That my dear is true love. You deserve happiness okay. Just because you have a mental illness it don’t mean you’re unworthy. Believe that X
Coming from a different angle, as your friend. Its the person inside that I love, the real you. The fact you have an illness just makes me feel more over protective of you and our friendship. Warts and all are what true relationships are all about whether it be spouse, siblings, offspring or friends. YOU are worthy of it all no matter what ! Love ya chick xxx
I’m glad you’ve found true love
your husband sounds a lovely man and I’m sure he wouldn’t change you for the world – and neither would any of us x
loads of respect for you both, its great that you have each found your soulmate and best friend. A mental illness doesn’t make you unloveable x.
“@TheRealSupermum: How to love someone with a mental illness http://t.co/C7VauScQ” I wish I could have had my ex read this 2 years ago.
How to love someone with a mental illness http://t.co/yVeCmwBl
You are both lucky to have each other x
I think its lovely… he doesnt look at the fact you have a mental illness… all he sees is you and the woman he fell in love with… to him thats all that matters…. your both great together xx
You’re very lucky to have each other
U are both very lucky to have each other x
That is true love hunni, its hard to find, so keep hold of it x x
i think you are a wonderful couple i think you are both very lucky to have found each other and i wish my husband was half as patient with me and my depression as Matt is you xx
nobody is perfect and just because someone had a mental illness does not mean they cant be loved my oh had a break down due to ocd years ago and that led to the break up of his marriage but it hasnt ever put me off him despite still showing a few mild signs of ocd and i even fought with him for a year to get him off sleeping tablets yes its very very hard work but in the end its rewarding to without what hes been through he wouldnt be the person is he today the person i fell in love with and im sure you and matt are the same your a match in heaven nobodys perfect and no relationship is ever plain sailing i dont care who you are xxx
lovely post
your husband is definately special to stick by you no matter what xx
Your both very lucky to have each other xx
OMG I cried when reading this, I can’t relate in so many ways. Very touching xxx
Aww so true people with mental health issues deserve love too and so long for it and just becoz ur mentally ill dosnt mean ur any diferent frm any1 else or the person u was b4 you are you warts an all and you are perfect in your partner and childrens eyes and thats all that matters x