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I don’t know how it happened, when or why but bipolar stole my friends. I can only assume that once my real life friends discovered that I had a contagious illness they all stopped phoning, stopped calling and would rather cross over the road then walk passed me.
I don’t blame them
In reality they were not trying to hurt me I do not think, they were frightened, I lost friends because they were afraid of me.
Frightened of me, the women they had known for years, shared endless cups of tea with, their secrets and their fears, yet now they feared me
Perhaps they did not know what to say to me?
I lost friends because of bipolar
I lost friends at a time in my life when I needed them the most
Understanding I had a mental illness was not that difficult, despite being mentally screwed up even I knew normal people did not feel and behave the way I was.
I have never felt so alone, so afraid, so needy, yet I had nobody to confide in. I began to lock everything up inside, it was a way to cope, to save the shame and embarrassed descending upon my family.
What would the neighbours say if they knew?
My husband would have to warn anyone coming into our home that I was “not well”, fearing I might make a spectacle out of myself. Those words hurt. He did not mean to hurt me; he was trying to protect me and making excuses for me before I gave anyone a chance to judge me.
My heart aches for friendship, to be accepted still
I cannot bring back those two and a half years of my life, where all control was taken away from me. I wish I could, I would change so many things.
I am sorry for all the friends I lost, I feel more hurt knowing they were not really friends in the first place. Friends don’t leave you when you’re down on the floor, I have learned that a true friend would pick you back up and if they couldn’t, would lie down on the floor right next to you, because that’s what I would do for a friend.
Do I have friends? I am not too sure. I believe I have a small handful of real life friends; I could count them on one hand. Those friends I would tell “some” of my fears too, I say “some” as I prefer to suffer in silence. These friends I would trust to look after my children, they are the ones who have read everything I have shared here on the blog about my life and living with bipolar and they still come to see me.
It can be very lonely at times living with a mental health illness; it steals so much of your life. I am sorry that my friends were not able to see passed the stigma, as they lost a true friend. It’s quite surreal how I have come full circle, that I now have a whole bunch of online friends and never get the chance to feel lonely.
I needed support when I was suffering and nobody was there for me and I never want to feel that way again.
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About The Real Supermum
This made me cry
.
You know how much i think of you Emma, so if you ever get floored again I would be the one covering you in permenant marker ( a moustache ) and silly string, and giving you a cushion for your head till your ready to get back up again.
Whats more I know there are plenty of people who will be right there too.
Dont be afraid of being alone. Your not.
You have so much but expect so little from people. Its humbling and heartbreaking. Xx
I love you too lol x but leave off the moustache …
I love this post and your bravery for sharing it. We love you at Project Purse Club … just the way you are. Never forget that.
Hey thanks for dropping by, I must get more involved with the project
I don’t think most people have more than a handful of friends, not real friends. Many fall into the category I call “friendly acquaintances.” I’m sorry that the hurt you’ve experienced has been made worse by lack of support. From my experience, I can say that it is not just mental illness that people fear. People seem to fear pain and helplessness of all sorts. If they can’t offer a fix, they offer nothing. I guess it makes them feel safer to insulate themselves from your pain. It is sad.
Hey Ginger thank you for stoppign by and thank you for your kind comment, I agree people fear what they do not know or is out of their own comfort zone
That is so sad
i feel for you hunni i really do … I dont suffer with bipolar but i do suffer with depression and i dont have any friends at all, i dont confide in anyone, i bottle it all up, and im sure one day i will explode, but what am i suppose to do without having even one person to confide in? Yes i get very lonely, even though ive started dating someone, i feel alone when he is about, as how can i let him in 
x x x
You will learn to trust him and then you will allow him in slightly x
hugs hun xxx i dont suffer bipolar so cant imanging what you went through but what i do know is that u wont feel lonely again not with us lot anyways lol we are all here for life now xxxxx
If I had read this post before I read your very judgemental take on smacking I would have been more sympathetic but now I’m wondering if you lost friends because of your bipolar or if you simply offended them by suggesting that because their opinions differed to your own they were awful people?
Having known Emma for a couple of years now I know full well, that she respects others opinions and I know that all too well actually. We have had our differences of opinions and not just small ones either!! So for you to suggest that she offended people because their opinions were different is stupid! You dont know Emma, anything about her life, what she goes through and what she does. How can you suggest such a thing? Yes the bipolar would have had something to do with Emma loosing friends due to the fact people are scared of it as they dont understand it or the people suffering from it, I am guessing you are one that doesnt understand it judging by your very judgemental comment!! The last thing Emma needs is people like you judging her!!!
Are you joking , Emma is not judgemental at all she promtes we all have our own opinions nobody is the same. I’m disgusted with what you have put, You do not know Emma or the work/suport she does
I think it is you that is the judgemental one.
Emma knows more than any of us how we all have different opinions and she values them!! Your also entitled to an opinion which you have expressed… unfortunately your opinion DOES NOT matter….. if you have nothing nice or supportive to say take it somewhere else n tell someone who gives a shit!!
Can i first start by saying Emma doesn’t need, want or is asking for yours or anyone elses sympathy. I think you need to read a lot more about who she is, what she has been through and what she does selflessly for many others. How dare you suggest that she lost friends through being opinionated, quite frankly your comment has disgusted me, that a grown woman can be so arrogant and heartless to even suggest such a thing. You’re the type of ‘friend’ and I do use that word very lightly, that make it hard for the rest of us to gain trust from people with this illness. They do say that ignorance is bliss, so please answer me his – is it ? As you seem to have ignorance in abundance !
You’re an awful person, piss off. Seriously love do one, it’s clear you’ve got a bee In your bonnet so maybe try getting it out of there before considering coming back.
your an idiot my dear piss off!!
It’s amazing how afraid people are of what they don’t understand. You are a true inspiration
and your comments not judgemental at all is it? emma repects everyone has a different opinion. if u dont find the blog helpful dont use it.
May I just add, if you found whatever post so judgemental before his post, then that suggests to me that still read on. Cant have been that bad then eh ?
Emma, unfortunately , there will always be someone that finds it difficult to understand or just too full of themselves to want to. You know who your friends are, I don’ have your illness and can still count my true friends on 1 hand. If I seriously thought you were some sort of fruit loop then I wouldn’t travel 80 odd miles to visit you lol. You don’t ever have to feel alone I hope you know that I’m here when ever you need me and it only takes a call and within an hour n a half i’l be sat by your side with a cuppa , a smile and a hug xxx
Sb and bunney stfu! Emma is lovely, I’ve never met Emma and I can say hand on my heart that I think of Emma as one of my good friends close to my heart after what she’s done for me! Did your parents never say to you ‘ if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything atall’ Emma didn’t open up and do this blog post for mindless idiots to judge her ! Now do one!
Love you em cxx
Emma judgemental ?? hmm I think someone needs to read a dictionary and find out what that word really means as it seems you have done exactly that. Emma ignore them theres always somene who feels the need to try and bring you down I call that jealousy
x
Emma i think all these comments say it all hun… one person makes a comment like that and how many people have jumped up in your defence…. just brush it off you know you have many friends… many havent even met you and yet confide in you things they cant confide in their own family…. ask for your opinions on situations and talk to you when they feel at their lowest…. thats an achievment…. your very good at what you do but that is mainly dowwn to the kind of person you are…. your a loving caring person that puts others needs in front of their own…. no matter what that twat says your deffinately the kind of person i would want as a friend…. sadly she mustnt have a friend as good as you… and for that i pity her….
Keep up the good work Emma and dont let one little person get you down…
Ooh someone’s a keyboard warrior!
Emma lost friends because they are all idiots! They are either afraid to know emma incase the crazy rubs off, or they are so arrogant and ignorant that they are frightened of what emma is/ was/ could be.
Truth be told if they bailed then they arent real friends! Real friends dont treat you like that. Real friends dont say whats wrong? They say you dont look happy, how can i help!?
Real friends value the friendship and dont use it as a tool to bring down the other person.
Real friendship takes everything thrown at it and stands up tequila in hand and says to all you idiots who blew me off heres a lemon suck on it!
Emma, the reality is you didnt lose friends just people who were never meant to be in your future. They have done you a favour and shown you they arent worth your time.
P.s ill hold back on the moustache but you know im gonna draw a penis on your forehead!
Fiona and Angie told me too lol
how dare you. emma puts loads of time and effort into this blog and to help us mummys so if you havent got anything nice to say then dont say anything at all. you always get one idiot thats jelous of you emma. uve got all us mummys behind you. lv ya chick xx
All I can say is p**s off to the other blogs, pages, we dont need you here. Emma is NOT judgemental, dear me another jealous emma wannabe, get a life love, theres only one supermum and shes a fantastic person so go sumwhere you are wanted as its certainly NOT here xxx
I am here every day, I may not comment everyday but I am here. I suffer from this two. Back stabbers throughout my life. Even my own family. You’re not alone when you have a group of mom’s who hang on every word you say! We may not all agree all the time but by Christ we stick together like lock tight super glue!!!!!!!
Dont feel alone when you have us xxxxxxx
Don’t have nowt nice to say don’t say it at all x
Its things like this that make you see who your true friends are and im sorry hun that so many left you behind even if i dont know what to say or anything id still be there for all my friends 100% a lot of my friends i dont see everyday or keep in complete contact sometimes go months without having a chat but i know as do they that we are only a ponecall away and would drop anything to be by their side to help them through all the ups and downs of life even if its just to sit there in silence just so they know that they do have someone there for them its horrible when people loose friends that they class as close its happened to me a lot and i find it hard to make knew friends and trust them ect in case they too turn away and leave me alone but as i said i always have a smalll handful and you emma have thousands of online friends who are trully inspired by you and will always be a mouse click away no matter what time of day or year xxx
People attack what they do not understand. You are fab emma!x
Oh my what an amazing post you wrote. Mental illness is truly the last stigma that exists and it’s a tragedy there isn’t more understanding for people and families who live through it. This was one of the bravest posts I’ve ever seen anyone write about. You, my dear, are strong and brave and can do anything. Day by day. Bravo.
think this is an amazing post it is true people are afraid of what they dont know but then again its also true that true friends stand by u no matter what xxx