I am feeling so down and confused. I want my old life back, I miss it so much. I want my ex back and for our children to have mummy and daddy together; happy again as a family but he left us at Xmas last year, when he started seeing some girl he worked with. He tore our family apart yet I long for the old days. He still says he loves me, that he is sorry and wants me back, yet within days he’s ignoring my calls and refuses to talk to me.
I have told him to stop contacting me and only to do so if it’s about arranging to see the kids. He has since changed his number, so even if it’s about the kids I can’t contact him. How can he hurt them this way as well as me?
Supermum Says;
I can understand why you are angry, upset and confused, this man was the man you loved shared a family with and he hurt you when he walked out on you. You long for that time when you were happy, but you could never get that back, even if you were to rekindle your relationship.
He cheated on you and broke up your family; learning to forgive someone who has hurt you so much is very difficult.
He is wrong to keep leading you on, please cut this man out of your life and stop him from playing games with your heart. If you took him back you would always wonder if he was going to cheat or leave you again. He is proving here he is still willing to keep on hurting you, he has learned no lesson and you deserve better than this.
Please think about arranging contact via a court order, so your children do not suffer long term, give him a final chance to show he can provide stable and regular contact with his children. But leave it there, you will find someone who treats you the way you should be.
Good Luck x
What advice can you give this mum?
About The Real Supermum
Very good advice from Emma and good luck to the mum xx
Aww hun I really feel for you! It must be so hard with the way he’s treating you. Its one thing to mess with you’re emotions but to do it to your children too is so cruel. Maybe try going down the legal route? Sort out set days where he has access to your children? Big hugs xxx
hes the father of ur children hunni of course u will still care n crave 4 him , it will take time broken hearts dont fix in a day they take time to frist heal n then slowly move on, as 4 ur children depending on their age , i’d be as honest as i could and explain to them that daddy n mummy aren’t together and that mummy can’t ring daddy as she doesn’t have his number as he has a new fone but u love them very much n i’m sure daddy will get in touch when hes ready to
big hugs though hunni i’m sure its not easy , stay strong xx
I would try to go via contact centre so if he doesn’t show up, you can tell your children you tried… big hugs hun xx
Brill advice. Big hugs to you hunny x
Brilliant advice once again emma, Big hugs to the mum x x
Firstly huge hugs Hun it will get better. Emma is so right. X
Agree with advice Emma has gave. Chin up thou hun keep strong for your kids xxx
big hugs xxx
Chin up hunni go witu your heart. But i do agree theres someone else out there that will treat u the way u deserve he will come along one day. Enjoy single life for the mean time.x
Big hugs hunni. One day the one who can treat you rightwill find you xx
agree with emma dont settle for being someone second choice x
100% agree with emma dont let him mess you around hun your worth much more than that
Big hugs Hun
it must be hard but I agree with emma and I would go down the court route so that when the kids get older at least u can say u tried x
personally I think you deserve better but You cant help who you love eh ? No one can tell you what to do but advise you the best we can. It’s easy for us to say get rid he’s no good, when we are not involved. Only you know what feels right although i do agree with Emma, them early days you will never get back. Try and concentrate on YOU for a little while, find out who YOU are again. Yes were all mums, wives etc but alot of the time we forget who we truely are. Maybe time to discover this and the confidence that comes with it. As for the contact, he is obviously making it difficult. I do believe though that every absent parent deserves the chance to see their child/ren and i’d see a solicitor to arrange things. wishing you all the best and lots of happiness xxx
big hugs hun great advice from emma xx
big hugs x
big hugs emma is so right xx
Emma has given great advice. I do think in the future when you are happy yourself you will look back at this and feel different ( ive been in a similar situation) its normal to yearn for your family to be together, but you are important 2 and your happiness xxx
Big hugs to you hun, i think going down the legal route and trying a contact centre may help, again big hugs and hope your ok xxx
As the father of your children there is always going to be be that connection, but he has treated you like rubbish why would want to be made to feel second best.
The best thing to do for your kids is to contact a solicitor and arrange contact centre visits.
Maybe he still loves you and has realised he has made a mistake but whats to say he wouldn’t cheat again. Big hugs, i hope you have a fantastic christmas xxx