I don’t want to work because I want to be a stay at home mum, I want to be the one who raises my children. I cannot afford childcare if both my partner and I worked; we would be working for nothing.
I have worked in the past; I have not always lived on benefits. I used to work in a school as a cleaner, wasn’t the best job in the world but it was a job and deciding to not working is my decision. I chose to have a baby and I wanted to be the one to bring up my children.
I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and I will be staying at home with this baby too. I will not work until both my children are in school. Once they are both in school then I will look for a job, something that will give me some independence and make our lives a little better.
It is not easy to raise children on benefits and it is very hard at times, people think we can afford anything and everything but that’s just not true. I am just careful with my money and what I get has to last us. My husband does work, but we also rely on top ups from benefits and we survive, some weeks are worse than others but we try not to waste money.
As for the stigma of benefit mums, it is very wrong. We are not all having babies for the money or to be lazy. My own family have worked all their life, paid their taxes and as far as I’m concerned, I am living off them, so people who say “you are living off me working” I turn round and say load of bollocks. I don’t want to work right now and that is my choice to make for my family.
A mum shares her reasons for choosing not to work and why she feels it’s better for her that she stays at home and raises her children.
What are your views?
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Only 30 years ago it was the ‘norm’ for mums to stay home and it was frowned upon if you didn’t, now it’s all turned around and I don’t think either position should be a ‘norm’. I think you should do whatever works for you.
i have been a stay at home mum for almost 5 years i am lucky my hubby has a good job to support us. and if you can afford to i think it is important for mum to ba at home if possible
Each to there own I’m a working mum and wouldn’t have it any other way x
Im a stay at home mum aged 40. I’ve worked for 20 years and paid my taxes. All of my family have worked (and still do) and the males in the family have all servied in the forces. I would have liked to return to my job part time so I had the best of both worlds however due to the travelling involved with my job, it just wasn’t going to be possible. I beat myself up for a while about the stigma attached to Single SAHM’s and then thought do you know what people can think what they want. I’ve said to a couple of play group mum’s that im a stay at home mum and they say i’m lucky I can afford to do that. They don’t know my circumstances. They don’t know (as most of you will) it’s a careful juggling act each month to live but it can be done as long as you’re sensible. I will prob never get the chance to have another lo so I’m going to make the most of watching my lg change every day. I’m going to be an olde fashioned mum, when it was the norm to stay at home with your lo’s and nurture them and teach them right from wrong. I am lucky that I am going to see my lg grow from a scrawny little bundle to this energetic whirlwind that doesnt stop and know that I have done the best to give her a good start in life and i’ve seen pretty much every minute of it. Some mums need to go back to work to for financial / emotional / mental reasons. Some mums want to go back to work but can’t for financial / emotional / mental reasons. What a wonderful world it would be if people didn’t judge before they knew the persons background. And to be honest, what business is it of their’s anyway? Just a thought for next time someone says ‘oh us tax payers are paying for you mum’s to stay at home’, dont respond to it. Just ask them if they drink or eat junk food and ask how they feel about their taxes paying for treatment for alcoholics or obese people and do they share those thoughts with people in a pub or in a fast food restaurant
I Don’t Want To Work – A Mums Confession http://t.co/mUf4WDDV
I can completely understand your opinion and position but got to say I myself don’t agree.
I am a working and studying mum and spend all my time with my little boy and we have such a strong bond!
I still see him grow up and bring him up – no-one else does as I’m his mum at the end of the day.
I work hard for the money I get and that allows me to treat us to things I couldn’t otherwise afford!!
I also like working because I still get to be ME and I’m not mum I’m Charlotte!
I can see why many mums choose to stay at home but I couldn’t do it myself.
Every mum is a brilliant mummy whether they work or stay at home.
Got to say it does piss me off when some people judge working mums and say they don’t bring their kids up though. Xx
I’m a stay at home mom and chose to be..I worked from when I was 16 doing waitressing, working on a zoo fair, Argos and glass collecting ..I think if you decide to have children then u should be at home to look after them..see them grow up and there ‘firsts’ I’ve also worked in a nursery and seen a 6week old baby grow up and even called me mommy..i felt sad for her as her mom was always at work. Even days off she sent her there and I vowed I’d never so that to any of my kids. X
Me too! I’ve talked to my girls about going to college when they are a little older and they know I want to do something with my life but I want to make sure they are looked after properly first! My children know that they come first with me!
Well done for being so honest!
We are polar opposites here! Dont want u to think im judging, if anything i applaud u for being able to maks that decision. i physically couldnt stay off work any longer then i did for my mat leave. Being a stay at home is hard work. i honestly do not think i could do it. big kudos to ya and good luck with the new bubba when he/she arrives xx
If thats what you want to choose to do then thats fine.. alot of people complain about women who have kids of school age and still sit at home claiming “benefits” but as you said your OH works your kids aint of school age and stay at home mums were the norm a few years back!
I however cant do it, my son is 18months and I have to find a job as I am going crazy at home and I feel him spending time away from me will benefit him and me but like I said each to their own, you do what works best for you x
i honestly think some days if i was at work id have an easier day lol xxx
Each to their own, i dont work myself at the moment auron is 14 months and im 20+2 with our 2nd, but id like a job.. just to have that little bit of independance, identity almost?x
Once my lg is 1 I’d like to get a part time job but its very hard to work it around the kids. I have worked since 15 was a huge shock being at home but I love my kids and they need me. I think it’s up to the individual x
i also dont work ive chosen this time to gain qualifications at college so i can still spend a lot of time with my daughter and i will only look for work once she turns 3 in december and has 15 hours a week and then i only want a part time job i hate people who judge it really annoys me especially been a teen mum too but aslong as my daughter is happy and i can see her grow up then to hell with what people say xx
I Havr children cause I want to bring them up and watch them grow it’s my choice not to work too my husband only does part time and as we on benifits at mo we do get “the look” when I walk with my 6 kids but like u my hubby had a full time good paying job 45+ hours a week for 16 years so not always been in benifits he left as I suffer depression and have ADHD causing heights and lows x but I have decided that if it means I can stay at home and etch my kids grow up then benifits is what I will have to be on till they grow up x
unless your in a well paid job finding the costs of childcare ect is hard ive worked that out a few times and wont be looking for work until caitlan is 3 (december) but since caitlan has been 9months old ive been on college courses to better my qualifications and hopefully be able to get a job easier xx
my partner works full time. at the time of me leaving work to have my first child it worked out about £10 better a week, i thought to myself for the sake of £40 i would lose out on my childrens first years, so it was that which decided that i should stay at home with the children. there are times i feel i need to work for my own sanity, but wont do so until the girls are in school full time. and even then i am restricted as personally i want to be there to take them to school and pick them up again – not be working x
each to there own i suppose i would love to work again it hard being on benefits even mor eos when you cant afford the best of things xx
I completely understand where u are coming from x
Having been someone who worked from the age of 12 as a paper girl, 14 in a shop and from 16 in various jobs its safe to say for the moment I found out I was pregnant until a month before my son turned 4 I didnt work then feb this year I got given a job yep thats right given it lol, no application form or interveiw just covered one shift for a mate as she was ill then buggered off to liverpool a day later 3 days in to the trip the jobs mine
well any way enough of that. I can say hand on heart I find it easier when theres no overtime for me as I am constantly being let down for child care as I only ask to do night shifts to make it easier for me and who ever I ask to babysit but sometimes it dont work out for me. I love my saturday nights in the shop I work at. Having been on both sides although I am still technically classed as a SAHM as my son is with his dad when I work. Both are as equally hard as its me who comes home to clean, me who cooks and me who does everything in the home. No one has the right to judge anyone working or not. At the end of the day its what ever is easiest for each individual
i think everyone has the right to choose & shouldn’t be judged for their choice more people need to live their own lives & stop worrying about other people’s x
Each to their own x
Id love too work but 300 pound a week for childcare xx
I agree, the childcare is just far too expensive, and with these new rules coming in about how many children 1 adult can look after really make me edgey, if the ratio for babys is 1 adult to 6 babies, and there’s a fire how does that 1 person carry 6 babies?!