Having An Ectopic Pregnancy Saved Me From His Clutches

I moved to my dad’s for a new start, got a job near him and thought it would finally make me slightly independent. I started work full of confidence and surprisingly liked my job.

I was being trained by this lad who automatically caught my eye, not my usual type but then I wasn’t a proper relationship kind of girl back then. A couple of weeks later he asked me to go to the cinema with him and his mates, not a date he said. It was lovely and I’d never been treated like that before, he insisted on paying for everything for me, if only I knew back then.

Weeks passed and we grew closer, after seeing him for a month I moved in with him, my phone broke and he suggested we share his until we were better off money wise. I went into work to find out he had arranged it so we had got onto the same shifts so we could walk to and from work together, it was a 30 minute walk, I thought nothing of it.

It started to click one night when I went back to my home town and didn’t get home till gone midnight, I got accused of cheating and he called me a slag and slut . Later that evening he apologised said I was too good for him and was scared of losing me. I accepted it and thought it would never happen again.

Then he hacked into my Facebook and deleted the majority of my old friends off so we only had mutual friends on there, his excuse ‘you wanted a new start, surely that means new friends and getting rid of the old ones, there’s a reason you were like that’. Again I took it.

But new friends meant female friends or his friends. I text a male off our shared phone, he read it and smacked me on my back, pulling my hair at the same time. The next day he was all happy, we walked to work, he brought me lunch, he finished a hour before me and met me from work with a big bunch of roses. He told me it wouldn’t happen again.

But it did, in the months to follow we went everywhere together, if I did something wrong I would get punched, bit or cut.

I learnt to accept it, thought that no-one else would want me, with my hair cut short and a no make-up rule. I finally clicked one day when I saw my dad in town and was asked why I had been ignoring everyone. He had been texting me but I hadn’t been told about it, I automatically told him our phone had been playing up. Little did I know he would call and my ex would answer?

I got home and was pushed down the stairs, was cut in the middle of my chest and had a slice of skin from near my breast cut off. I just lay on the floor feeling defeated. Then he told me a way for it all to stop.

I had to get pregnant and have his child. It was quite steep thinking back but all I thought was it would stop and I could have my life back.

I got pregnant quite quickly and I was over the moon about it, the situation wasn’t ideal but it stopped. About a week after getting the positive test I started bleeding in the night and was in agony, the first thing I did was go to wake my ex but he wasn’t there, he wasn’t even in the house. Crying I rang my dad and was took to hospital.

I was waiting for what seemed like hours in the hospital, then I got told I had an ectopic pregnancy and they had to do key hole surgery on me, I cried but I wasn’t upset, the thought of losing his child relieved me. Sitting in the hospital made me realise I could leave him but when he came to see me my confidence disappeared.

I was told they could save my tube, but he didn’t care. He held my hand and squeezed so tightly it hurt and brought tears to my eyes.

The next sentence he said was ‘it’s your entire fault we made the baby fine, your body didn’t want to keep it and you’re useless to me’ then he left.

I didn’t hear from him again, if anything my ectopic was a blessing in disguise. If it didn’t happen I’d still have him in my life now.

I moved back to my mums, broke down and told her everything. She told me she never liked him but I seemed happy. Then about three months down the line my cousin insisted I get back out there, even if it turns into nothing I should go for lunch with his best mate. He was perfect for me I was told, a new family friend. I agreed though it was the last thing on my mind, that day I was so tempted to cancel but something told me to go.

Now two years down the line I have an amazing fiancé and a gorgeous little girl. They say things happen for a reason, I now truly believe this.

This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.

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