I have a fake online persona as The Real Supermum, I am much like Jekyll and Hyde, there are 2 of me. There is Supermum who is the 
bubbly, helpful and confident figure and then there’s Emma, there is so much more than meets the eye. I am a fake, I hide behind the Supermum name as I am so ashamed of the real me.
Meet The Real Supermum
She is there to help and support hundreds of women; she is highly respected and has earned the trust of many. Nothing is ever too much for Supermum and she will go to extra lengths to help others. She is honest, open and dedicates her time to just being there for anyone who needs her.
Supermum talks to mums who are struggling with depression, she discusses self-harm with mums who are cutting their bodies into pieces, she helps women leave abusive relationships and is always on hand to listen to a mother in need. She never judges, she offers her own advice yet always ensures professional support is sought.
The Real Supermum offers mothers a chance to speak out; hundreds of mothers on her Facebook mums group have asked her to share their stories on their behalf on her blog. Supermum will carefully edit each post given to her; taking time to ensure the words the women wants to speak are spoken, in a safe and confidential way, always editing out anything that would give away an identity.
She cares, she understands, she believes. I like this fake online persona I have created.
Meet Emma
Emma is the other side to me, the real me, the person behind The Real Supermum.
I find it difficult to trust people, everybody in my life has always let me down. I am used to people hurting me, so when a genuine person takes an interest in me, the brick wall goes up and the defences are put into place.
I never feel quite good enough, nothing I do ever measures up to a set of standards I have created. I will never accept that I am just as good as anyone else; I find too many flaws and faults with who I am. Some days I despise the person I am, other days I fight to become a better person, I have so many demons that it can be difficult.
I find it difficult to talk about myself, I still feel ashamed of what I am. Too many years of being put down and being told I am damaged and worthless have left its mark.
People choose to see what they want to see. Those that judge me have never taken the time to get to know the real me, Supermum is the women I would love to be, but that’s only the good part of me, I also have a bad side.
The bad side of me will see me self-harm, punish myself and to a degree torture myself. I look in the mirror to remind myself I am not worthy of others friendships. I am desperate to be accepted, yet my paranoia does not allow me.
I will never look into your eyes when you see me face to face, I look at the floor, I never feel confident enough to keep my head up. I feel inferior to others.
Paranoia never allows me to get close to others, if someone was to start chatting to me I would question why. Are they just talking to me so they can go back and talk about me, what have I done wrong?
I struggle to show the real me, always try to hide what I am feeling and thinking as I have such a low opinion of myself that I fear I will be rejected.
I understand why some do judge me, I am damaged. Emma is not a fake online persona, this is the real me.
I have so many faults and it’s easy for others to see these. Yet I also have a few good bits, that I keep trying to remind myself, I created The Real Supermum because that’s the real me, that’s who I am underneath this armoured shield.
I may appear confident even arrogant, it’s a show. Inside I am breaking and it’s my natural protective wall going up, trying to stop me being hurt again.
Please don’t judge a book by its cover ….
Do we all hide behind a fake online persona?
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About The Real Supermum
Supermum to me is funny as hell, considerate, confidant, can spell better than me ( lol), has time, support and truth for everyone.
Supermum has control of a ton of women on the group, a feat no man can achieve!
Supermum is a voice, a lifeline, a anchor for mums when we can’t quite find the way forward.
Emma is the hilarious woman in my inbox who is feeling the happy pills and is singing in my inbox. Emma is the lady that makes me laugh so hard as she jokes about random things, and tries to get naughty confessions out of me for her blog!
Emma is the one who reaches out to me when nobody else realises I’m quiet and not ok.
Emma is the one who knows me.
Emma is the one who feels the pain of trolls words like a dagger in her heart but can still laugh with me when we make up trollspeak to send them!
Emma is the creative mind behind the blog.
Emma is the mother of six beautiful children who worship her.
Emma’s not a victim, she’s a survivor.
Emma’s a warrior!
I much prefer Emma to supermum, but I’m proud to know both.
Emma if we were to meet at some point, I promise you your head would be up held high, ( mostly because one of us would need to keep a check for random firemen roaming the streets for photo opportunity ).
You won’t always feel inferior to others, and if supermum could advise you she would say be tall, be strong, be you.
You have a warrior heart, a beautiful soul and a wicked ability to run a successfull mothers group, blog, home, husband, a zoo and your kids.
Whether you know it or believe it you ARE the dogs danglers! And if you like I’ll make you a badge that says so lol xx
People look up to you because of everything you do and have achieved. Yes you may be bipolar, but people who dont have bipolar havent achieved half the things you have done hunni, you should be proud of yourself … Wish i knew you better/more x x
Emma you are an amazing women the world would be a much better place if more people were like you xx
Never be ashamed of who u are I should be PROUD! Your an amazing person who is always there’s for others whether your emma or supermum your still one person x
Everyone is hiding behind some sort of persona but there aren’t many people who get up, get out there and support so many other people. I think you are really inspiring and you should be proud – not just of who you are but also of what you’ve achieved! It takes some guts to open up and be so honest – I don’t think I’m that honest, even with myself!! xx
supermum is fab ! Emma is fabulous because with her you get warts and all ! What you find hard to realise Emma is that even with your bipolar you are not much different from anyone else. I think we all have some if not all of those fears and insecurities at some point in our lives. Personally no matter which 1 you are, i love ya, i consider you very highly, not just as a confidant but as a very good friend and i hope you seem me for the genuine person i am … warts and all xxx
Though I am not myself a Mother yet, I sympathise with everything in this post. The ‘on stage’ persona is the real you I believe, but it masks the pain you are going through inside. x
You’re amazing, that’s all I see
x
I see a smart, funny, helpfull, amazing lady and parent… you should be very proud of the person you are Emma coz all us ladies on ur blog/group see her
xx
Dont ever ever be ashamed of anything about you emma! You are the emma we all know and love.. dont ever change xxx
I read the coolest thing from this. Emma-you are an amazing person because you are strong enough that you just told the world about all the things that make you vulnerable. That’s a very difficult thing to do and you have to be very strong to do that. The other thing is EMMA is the CREATOR here–she created SUPERMUM and SUPERMUM is inside of EMMA who helps people and is there for them. What an awesome giving woman. I think that is awesome and I am glad that I found your Supermum Blog and that you were strong enough for yourself and the readers to show that vulnerable and genuine self. It’s awesome.
Irish
Dedicated2life.com
emma you truly are an inspirational and brave woman everything you do inspires people your work hard to make sure all of your mums are looked after 100% and you are a brilliant mum to your beautiful children never put yourself down your brilliant xx
Hi Emma,
I love the work you do here to support so many vulnerable people, this is the first time I’ve commented.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder (they’re undecided about Bipolar just now). I’ve been working on healing myself, as despite seeing MH professionals for over twenty years nothing has helped. I have been making a lot of progress with this.
As I’m sure you know, identity is a major issue with BPD, before I started to heal I used to separate out the parts of my personality I didn’t like and either denied them or fought them. In order to heal I had to admit to myself all of the things I didn’t like and then I had to accept them. This has taken me a few years but the effects have been amazing. I found that talking to someone I can trust about the parts of me I was ashamed of really helped, he accepted me exactly as I was and that was very validating. Do you have someone like that in your life who could do the same for you? Or perhaps an online friend? (It is very difficult, I used to only be able to talk about this stuff in the dark so I couldn’t be seen!)
Another thing that really helped me was the work of Brene Brown, have you heard of her? She is a ‘shame’ researcher. She has a fantastic talk here http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html and I highly recommend her book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to be and Embrace Who You are http://tinyurl.com/a428263 She had to go through the same journey herself being a perfectionist.
I am in the middle of creating a new website about healing from mental illness, a lot of my focus will be on self-acceptance and self-esteem as I believe these are crucial. My personal belief is that you can’t be truly strong until you know yourself and can accept yourself, otherwise you are always afraid of people discovering ‘who you really are’. You are very strong for other people, Emma, but I think you have maybe neglected yourself? It is amazing that you’ve written this post, I am full of admiration for you
I know you don’t feel this Emma, but you are a wonderful and loveable person just the way you are. No-one is perfect and no-one needs to be perfect to be loved. You are such an admirable person who has achieved so much more than most despite everything you have had to struggle with.