I speak to many mothers who self-harm, some burn themselves, some punch, some bite their arms while others cut and mutilate their body in some way. The one thing I have learned is that most are desperately trying to stop and as prevention they have sought release in something as simple as an elastic band.
I received this inbox earlier today;
Emma please help, I am so worried. I was dropping my son off at school today and in the playground I guy I have known for years saw the elastic bands around my wrist. He admitted that he too uses them to stop himself harming, he knows my secret. I am so afraid that others will too.
I spent time reassuring this mother that what she was doing was normal and in fact a great thing, instead of cutting her body to shreds as she usually does, she instead pinged the elastic bands.
I explained that I was very proud of her; stopping self-harming is no easy task. This mother no longer wants to cut and if pinging elastic bands across her wrists helps her and then I agreed it’s a benefit to her.
I did some research on self-harming and the use of elastic bands and was sad to see some making comments that this only portrayed even more body mutilation.
I have bipolar and I struggle, I wear a elasticated bracelet that one of my daughters made me for me, a cheap and tacky bracelet that has ten stars attached to it. I wear that bracelet and when I feel I cannot cope, become anxious or feel fear I snap that bracelet against my wrist and it stops me and gives me time to change the way I am thinking or at least remind myself.
Those little stars remind me I am still that big bright shining star; I am just a little dusty at the moment.
If pinging an elastic band helps what is the issue here? Because “normal” people don’t do this? The thought of someone wearing a band confuses you? If so I advise you go and research self harming before passing judgement.
My only warning to those who do this or try this is the elastic band is NOT there to because you pain, it is not too tight that it digs into or burns your wrists. You ping it to remind yourself, you use it as a prevention not to cut, not to deliberately cause yourself pain.
What we do not want to happen is to become addicted to snapping these bands, these are to be used to prevent not replace.
This mother has thanked me and agreed that she will be visiting her family doctor and finally feels able to speak out about what she does.
Many believe snapping elastic bands is too a form of self-harm, I believe even if it is, it’s less dangerous and less risky to a self-harmer, therefore I agree it’s a good thing to do.
I await your own opinions ….
About The Real Supermum
I think it’s a good idea but I do think some will think of it as a form of SH if it hurts x
I have hear this before and i do think its a fab idea ok MAYBE classes as SH but a little red mark that soon goes has to be better that a cut or scratch or burn?? Xx
What a great idea
x
I wear 5 on my left wrist and 2 on my right. I hadn’t heard of this method of SH b4 and do think it should be spread around more. I started wearing them about a yr ago after just chucking one on my wrist whilst wraping prezzies. I forgot it was there. A couple of days later i found myself in one of my situations that i haven’t been able to understand or control (even now!!) and my anxiety was ski high, my hands started to stray towards my head to begin to pull clumps of hair out and to deeply scratch my face. For some strange reason i didn’t get that far and my little elacy band was pulled and it gave me something else to concentrate on. I will admit the pain of the ping helped to but i think it was mainly the concentration on doing something with my hands other than the other thing i was desperate to do. I don’t know y i left the elacy band on my wrist but i do believe someone is looking out for me. xxxxx
Its a brilliant idea if it helps stop self harming x
If it works, it’s better than the alternative
i believe that its fantastic. well alot better tha the alternative anytime u keep going girl flicking on your band. well done
I flick a band too and it really helps it makes ypu concentrate on something else other than the want and need to cut
I think thats a great idea for people who self harm..no one knows or can judge people that haven’t been there themself xx
I think its a great idea and a safe way to self harm x x
i’ve heard of this for lots of things n think its a great idea as like u said for the brief moment u ping that elastic band give u chance to change wat u r thinking about, i used to were on around my wrist when i tryed quiting smoking a few yrs back n it really did help , so i think if it can help smokers as thats how i heard of it frist y not self harmers or anyone tbh
another great post hun that will help others , well done xx
If it stops them really hurting themselfs then why not x
Brilliant idea and if itspreventing people from SH then its even more brilliant. I hope the lady gets the help she needs
x
I think im gna try this i bite my wrists n hit myself on the head but my daughter getting clever nw n so i cnt hit myself as she copies x
my cpn recommended that until he saw the marks and bruises i left meself with x now tattoos help me x
ive never heard of this but can see how it works i used to self harm as a teen cutting myself and even ended up in hospital after a bad overdose wish id known of this then would of been so much easier to stop thakfully i have done it though 2 gorgeous kids and no need to self harm now xx
I don’t know what to say. It just makes me really sad that there are people in this world that went thru a course in life that brought them to a place where hurting themselves is the only thing they can do to continue there lives.
You are doing a great thing here, Emma. Giving these people a voice. Whoever made that picture for you that you have here in the background is absolutely right.
I agree that it is a good thing especially if it prevents people from cutting ect xx
if it stops people actually cutting then im all for it, so glad these ladies came to you for advice
if it stops people cutting then its a good thing x
i used this when i was at that stage when i was younger it was a great relief compared to cutting xx
I think this is a good idea, especially if it stops someone from cutting themselves. People shouldn’t judge those who self harm, no one knows what they have or are going through. Walk a mile in their shoes before judging them xx
Ive been a self harmer since I was 18. I have scars on my arms and other parts of my body from razors.
About five years ago I discovered a website that sold crystal bracelets and bought some. I wore them, just simple crystals on a elastic bracelet. My baby son would grab it and ping it and I realised the initial ping would sting like mad and then stop. I found that when the urges came to cut I could ping my way out of it and the sting distracted my brain long enough to stop me picking up a razor.
I bought three black crystal bracelets and they have been permenantly attached to my wrist since then. i don not take them off for any reason.
When im feeling bad I ping them or sometimes just messing with them in my fingers so theres no pain is enough. I have ben able to retrain my mind to accept the bracelets are enough.
I hate the ping pain it brings tears to my eyes but I would rather do that and have no scars than bloodlet and have scars that my children will see.