My Husband & I With 2 Of Our Sons
I despise the word sympathy, especially when people try to tell me they feel sorry for me because of my mental illness.
How do you cope? I am often asked
The truth is at times, I don’t, plain and simple.
At those times I have a guardian angel, shaped as my husband standing by to catch me and pick me back up or at least move me out of the way.
At any given time, with no notice needed, he takes over.
He can and he does everything I do for the children. He does the housework, the school runs, the baths and the bedtime. We are a team and we are 50-50 when it comes to the parenting, but he does more than me when I am ill.
Parenting is NOT devoted to mothers; fathers are more than capable of doing a great job at raising children, my husband is proof of just that.
While the mother struggles with a mental illness and a family of young children, the father is forgotten, all focus and attention falls upon her. While she receives support, it is also him that needs some guidance and advice.
Living me with me I can only assume is a nightmare at times. We are married and marriage has its ups and downs, oh yes, a bipolar marriage sure has its ups and downs.
My husband has had to standby by and watch me destroy myself, hurt myself, punish myself and act completely deranged.
I have embarrassed him, hurt him and destroyed any hopes he had for himself. His world stopped when I became ill, giving up his job to care for me and the children.
He is living with someone he no longer recognises, I am not the person he first met, or am I?
I have screamed, begged, cried and told him to leave me, many times. He takes the brunt of my anger and frustration.
Not only does he have to care for me, he also has 6 children to parent, three of which are not his own. He does this without complaint or resent.
He has never once complained, taking it on the chin.
I know he feels embarrassed when friends or people ask what he does for a living; he can’t be the working family man who provides, as he has to stay home and care for his wife. I took that away from him.
He has to explain and pre warn friends when they come, ones who do not know me that I am bipolar, just in case I take a “mood swing” while they are here. I feel ashamed I have brought this into our family home.
I don’t know why he loves me, but he does.
It’s about time the partner who lives with a bipolar is given some support and recognition for what they do, without my husband’s support I have no idea where I would be today. He too needs support; it’s not easy living with someone who has bipolar.
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That’s so true! Not a lot of dad’s get a look in when they are living with someone with a mental illness.
You’re one of the good one’s!
My ex is a great dad, when I let him. Just cause I’ve got my crap going on doesnt take away from the fact that when he comes in they dont want to know me! They will go to him! They’ll come to me when they want feeding as their dad doesnt know when feeding time is since he moved out.
Dad’s that help and that are around, not necessarily in the home, should be recognized and given their credit for helping and caring.
Well done to your Matt for helping and caring when needs be!
Well done Matt
that’s why ur 2gether x
This is so true. Most people don’t think about what the dads do at home aswel as the mother x
well matt u truly are an inspration to many dads. nice to see someone who is not a dead beat and truly is in love with his wife and a proper family man well dane matt x
Having had the opertunity to stay with you all at times I can say that Matt as a father and a husband is a fantastic man. He needn’t feel ashamed of his job description, he works harder than most. You both compliment each other and i think you’re a fantastic couple. You don’t have to look far to see the love you have for each as well as a family. xxx
I completely agree and like I said in the other post matt is amazing. Matt loves you all unconditionally Emma – true love and you are both lucky to have each other and the children xxx
Anyone can tell how much Matt truly loves you emma, there would have been many blokes that would have walked, as they dont understand, but Matt stands by you … You have truly found a good bloke emma x x