There is no denying it that blended families comes with baggage. I already had 3 children from my previous marriage and so did he when we met, that was 6 children that all had to learn to accept and get along with each other. We then had 3 children together making the grand total of 9 kids.
As my 6 children live with us, they know we have set rules and boundaries and that worked well, but when my step children come to stay it can be either great or a nightmare. They don’t like our rules, I am not their mother, yet we have one rule for all in our house and they have to accept that.
My husband’s children are similar in age to my eldest three and they can and have clashed in the past, for most of the time it has been exciting to have them altogether, but we have faced the usual load of baggage problems that blended families raise.
Step Parent Resentment;
My 3 children have used the phrase” But you’re not my dad” on more than one occasion and while that may be correct, my husband has raised them as his own and it’s very hurtful for him to hear.
I also find discipline difficult in our family home; I seem to be the one dishing it out as they are “my kids”. We do not see Matts children as often as we would like, through no fault of his own and they can cause upset when they visit as they resent the fact they “don’t see dad” much.
They do resent the other children, which of course is only natural, their dad gets to see his other 3 kids daily and because of that has a very close bond with them, it’s difficult to parent kids your only allowed to see “as and when”.
The other main area we don’t agree is when it comes down to discipline, while he is very quick to give in, I stand my ground. The kids do see him as the pushover and it has caused arguments in the past. The children are also great at playing us off against each other. When I say no they know he will say yes, so will often go behind my back.
We had a rule at the very start that all 9 children will be treat the same, we have the exact same rules in place for all and it’s a balancing act to reinforce them at times, but we do it.
What obstacles have you faced with a blended family?