Some people will think how on earth does her relationship survive? We haven’t had sex since christmas time 2009 and yes I realise it is now july 2012 and by some miracle he hasn’t left me, even though I have been too scared to have sex.
You might think how does someone who has had a child become frightened of sex and if truth be told I don’t understand either.
When I was pregnant I don’t really know why we didn’t have sex, it just didn’t really appeal to me, I didn’t get the increased sex drive many women do after the first trimester passes, mine just disappeared.
Why Am I Too Scared To Have Sex?
When I had my son I had a second degree tear, episiotomy and internal tearing. Needless to say sex was therefore off the cards for a while whilst I healed. We have started a few times since then, everything still seems to work, I still respond to his touch and become sexually aroused, but I always chicken out before penetration.
I don’t know why I do, I, even had a smear test done since so I know it won’t hurt but somehow I still get scared its going to hurt. My partners incredibly supportive and always says it doesn’t matter to him and he’ll be ready when I’m ready. I just don’t know when that will be. I can’t work out the problem. If its the thought of pain I know it won’t be.
If its my self consciousness because I weigh a lot more than I did before I had my son then I need to get over it in my head and start being happy, my other half always says “you’re not fat” when I complain about feeling fat so I know he isn’t bothered by my size.
I really hope I am ready soon. I love cuddling with him but do feel bad for my other half not having any sexual relief. Its part of being a normal couple, right? Hopefully soon guys, hopefully soon.