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Some people will think how on earth does her relationship survive? We haven’t had sex since christmas time 2009 and yes I realise it is now july 2012 and by some miracle he hasn’t left me, even though I have been too scared to have sex.
You might think how does someone who has had a child become frightened of sex and if truth be told I don’t understand either.
When I was pregnant I don’t really know why we didn’t have sex, it just didn’t really appeal to me, I didn’t get the increased sex drive many women do after the first trimester passes, mine just disappeared.
Why Am I Too Scared To Have Sex?
When I had my son I had a second degree tear, episiotomy and internal tearing. Needless to say sex was therefore off the cards for a while whilst I healed. We have started a few times since then, everything still seems to work, I still respond to his touch and become sexually aroused, but I always chicken out before penetration.
I don’t know why I do, I, even had a smear test done since so I know it won’t hurt but somehow I still get scared its going to hurt. My partners incredibly supportive and always says it doesn’t matter to him and he’ll be ready when I’m ready. I just don’t know when that will be. I can’t work out the problem. If its the thought of pain I know it won’t be.
If its my self consciousness because I weigh a lot more than I did before I had my son then I need to get over it in my head and start being happy, my other half always says “you’re not fat” when I complain about feeling fat so I know he isn’t bothered by my size.
I really hope I am ready soon. I love cuddling with him but do feel bad for my other half not having any sexual relief. Its part of being a normal couple, right? Hopefully soon guys, hopefully soon.
About The Real Supermum
Sorry cant really help hun but hope u find the answers maybe councilling??xxx
Hmmm have you tried talking to anyone hun. I’m sorry I have no advice to give you or help you x
Try talking to somone hunni, im scared of sex but i know the reason behind that, sorry cant be much help x x
I have NO sex drive, I push myself to do it a few times a month(ish) and enjjoy it when we do but, i never realy feel like it
try to talk to your oh and see if it opens up to why ur so scared? deep down it may be something other than how u feel about your weigh and if it will hurt etc.. councelling could help too but mainly speaking to your oh is more helpful as he needs to totally understand how ur feeling..xx
My sex drive completely went while i was pregnant. I pushed hubby away completely and didn’t want him touching me. It wasn’t until our lg was 5 months old that i regained it. U will get there hun x x
i agree , talk to ur oh , it could be a number of things n counceling could help , big hugs to u hunni n remember ur not alone on this lots of mummies suffer with this problem , xxxxx
Try talking to your fella cause I bet he’s feeling the same inside if he’s not getting any sex either x
i think you need to be comfortable in youself first maybe have some time to explore yourself so you can relearn what you like
OMG i have the same problem. Im terrified. this may sound bad but i have had sex but only with someone i knew wouldnt lastv five mins. im scared to have sex for another reason though. im scared he will be able to feel my scar and how loose i have become after being in labour. i have no sex drive either which doesnt help. i can play with myself but not with the other sex. i used to love sex….was quite the slag if im honest but it was my choice n i enjoyed myself but now i cant do it….no confidence. no nothing. I feel for you hun and it will come in time xx
maybe ask your GP to refer you for psycho-sexual councilling hun, maybe you have blocked something out subconciously, hope you get to the bottom of it soon. xxx
When I was preggers I didn’t want sex at all. Didn’t have the energy or just couldn’t be bothered. After I got a slight prolapsed bowl and I was scared sex would cause damage. My lo will be 2 in about 6 weeks and I still don’t really want it. I’m too tired and hate my body with passion. Speak to your oh and then go see your GP.
I’d talk to the gp about it hun. Maybe try some counseling. Hope you get it sorted x
Awww chick it seems u have lost confidence … Maybe roll play will help as u can pretend to be someone totally different even if it’s just for the first time ! Good luck Hun x
I think that sex is a kind of play, fun… it’s like dance. So… don’t try so hard, don’t think about it (because in your mind an association is created sex=problem). Try to relax and try to recall what You have found pleasent in the past (candles, some kind of music, movies, food…). Don’t force, don’t push Yourself and don’t try to be good in sex – because everybody are good
Sex doesn’t like ‘pushing’, fear, control. Relax.
sorry cant help but hope you find something to help in the future xx
cant really help but thought id send bigs hugs across
Maybe be worth talking to someone, you are not the only person to experience, hope you manage to dtd soon
x
maybe try talking to each other your not on your own with this there is plenty of people that go though it i hope you can start having sex again hugs hun xxx
ohh hun sorry i cant be much help big hugs xxxx
Definately see a gp, big hugs xx
I don’t really no what to say hun
sorry I can’t be more help..like some of the other ladys said try talkin to your other half, hope all works out. Big hugs <3 xx
big hugs hun, hope things have worked out for you both now xx