At the age of 18 I found myself raped and pregnant, what should have been a happy occasion filled me with a sickening dread. I was pregnant after being raped. I was frightened, confused and my head was a mess.
Raped And Pregnant – I Had An Abortion
My stomach was in knots when I had taken that test, I threw up from fear. As I watched the positive result staring back at me I was horrified. I couldn’t stand the thought of this child, my rapist’s child growing inside of me, it was like a cancer. I didn’t want it, I couldn’t bear it.
I phoned a private clinic, they would help me but it would cost me. It was easier and safer for me to go private, easier to hide. I did agency work for a month to pay for it, working in a chocolate factory packing boxes of milk tray. I took the money and myself to the clinic.
I blocked out what happened to me, it still stays blocked out to this day. It’s not something I think about. I have created an emotional numbness to protect me.
I thought I would feel relieved after it was over, after this thing that man created had been removed, but I was consumed with guilt. I developed a hatred for myself, as it hit me, what I had done. I told nobody, no family, no friends, nobody. Nobody knows to this day in my circle. I share this secret now with The Real Supermum as I know she will keep my secret and it may help others out there too.
Not long after aborting my rapist’s child I became very ill and I was sectioned under the mental health act, but I have never forgiven myself for what I did.
I know in my heart I had to do it. I know I couldn’t have raised my rapist’s baby, but sometimes I catch myself thinking what if?
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
You could help us share the blogs love to helping others by sharing via the social sharing buttons bellow.
Other Inspirational Abortion Stories
About The Real Supermum
Such a brave story,
I think a little part of you will always wonder “what if” I know I certainly do (I also had an abortion but in different circumstances)
Big hugs to you x
So brave xx
So brave to tell your story
cant imagine what its like for you too keep this story hidden away you will probably always wonder but u have to forgive urself hun its totally understandable why you chose to abort and ur really brave for telling this to help other mums xxx
Im glad you found the strength to do what’s best for u hun. Big hugs x
Must be so hard for you not to be able to tell people close to u.ur really brave for sharing with us and sorry to hear what you have been through xx
everyone will always have ‘what ifs’ but you did what was best for you in that situation, as you should have done. hugs x
You are so brave, and I am so sorry for what has happened to you xxxx
U will always think about the what ifs
but u did what u felt was best for ur the time, so brave for tellin us your story xx
I have nothing but respect for you. Thank you xx
Massive hugs on their way to you hunni, what a horrid thing to have to go through and live with alone ! I’m glad you have Emma to confide in and hope you know that most of us mums on the group are their to support you 100% xxx
What an amazing thing to do for others, share your story. I cannot begin to imagine. Big Hugs xxx
You brave lady to tell us your story. You had to do what you felt was best hunni
Huge hugs xx
very brave to share ur story x
So brave to share your story x
i totally understand why you did this so brave of you bless you xx
Massive hugs hun, so brave sharing your story xx
Ooo lovely, rape and abortion are some of the hardest things to get over, Im soo glad you shared your story xxxxx much love xxxxxx
Your so brave for telling your story
So brave Hun, xxx huge hugs and respect xxx