The fear of rejection is something that plaques my life, its one of my many nasty traits. It does upset me that I feel this way and I would very much like to overcome it as it does ruin the way I think and behave.
For example; The school playground; I take great pleasure in talking to friends I know, those who know me. I am a loyal and great friend but I do not like making new friends, not face to face. Why? Because I fear they will not think I am good enough.
There I said it, I never believe I am worthy.
I always think that others are better than me? That people look down upon me.
I set myself up for failure before I have even began.
I am afraid of nominating myself for tasks, I would love to get involved in the fund-raising and events tasks at my children’s school, as its something I would enjoy and be good at, yet I am too afraid to go along to a meeting as I fear they will not want me there.
I am too frightened to walk into a playgroup, for fear that the other mums would shun me and I would be sat alone.
Why do I feel so worthless and useless?
Why do I fear rejection so much?
I can not think I have ever been rejected from something in my past that would give me this fear.
I have placed the fear of rejection inside myself. Do I reject myself?
I am not afraid to fail, I am a very strong minded person and if I set out to do something then I always do it to the best of my abilities and never do I quit. I do feel I say things, do things upon nervous impulse, I talk to much or talk about utter rubbish, when placed in a situation I feel uncomfortable with.
I have spoke to a few friends about this and they are shocked. They see me as the strong, confident women who doesn’t give a shit about what others think about her, they could not be further from the truth.
Perhaps I need to learn to accept myself, so that I can allow others too?