I would love to add to our family and one of the main things that refrains me from even thinking about this seriously is at this time neither my husband or I are in full time employment, while it is not by choice it’s a position we faced when I was deemed unwell enough to work.
Is you’re financial or employment status a reason not to add to your family? Should you be in full time employment so that you are able to provide for your own kids and not expect others to pay for your kids?
With so many mothers on benefits these days due to many reasons, is it wrong to bring more children into the world? Should a mother only become a mother when she’s able to financially support a child herself with no support?
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Why do I feel less adequate as a mother because I am not personally providing for my own kids, why do I feel that others look down on me? I am not able to work due to my mental health, that also makes me feel vulnerable.
Perhaps it’s all in my head, I have always worked and this stay at home mum is all very new to me. I miss work; I miss what I used to do. It has changed me as a person.
I have not really stopped working when I think about it; I do as many hours online as I did in my job, although I help people now, rather than make money. To be honest I prefer what I do now.
I am thinking in a few months that I might be able to return to work, but do I really want to stop doing what I do now? I will be looking at ways to turn what I do into a business, but that may not happen for some time, I do not know how the next appeal will go. Can I turn a hobby into a business that will provide for my family?
Am I wrong for thinking the way I do? Do I have to be a full time working mum to add to my family?
I would love to hear your own views… Should You Have A Job To Have A Baby?
About The Real Supermum
i had a job when i got pregnant with my first but was on benefits when i became pregnant with my second. ONLY from my point of view it is better to do when you have a job, you have something to return to part time should you choose when the baby is one which was a big hand in keeping me sane, having those few hours each week where i could go to the toilet without being followed, have a drink/food without sharing it all, but then i had my days without work with my baby and enjoyed my time with him more. Having a job for me is about feeling not only like you are contributing but giving you time to be an adult, rather than just a mommy.
I worked from the age of 14 until I got pregnant at 19 with my little boy, when he was 2 I volunteered in a cancer charity shop 3 days a week for something to do other than sit on my bum all day waiting for docs n hospital appointments to come through. My son is now 4 and I went back in to part time work a month before his 4th birthday. Yes I only do one day a week in work, yes I still claim all my benefits, but for me I cant go back to work fully until I know that my sons hospital and doctors appointments are very few and far between. Yes I enjoy working for them few hours on a Saturday night and yes I love being a stay at home mum. I dont think it matters either way if you work or not when you have a baby, as long as you can afford to have a child buy them everything they need and give them love, a stable family and a roof over their heads. But also if you are able to work then I think you should x
I think you should be financially stable before you have a baby. Whether that means you have a full time or part time job, as long as you are making enough money to support yourself and your possible children to come. I wouldn’t want to have to rely on anyone to make sure my kids are taken care of. I wouldn’t have a baby unless I knew I could give them a proper life by being able to provide everything they need. It just doesn’t seem fair to bring an innocent life into this world if you need help following through on it.
When we planned to try for a baby we was both in full time work. But then when i found out i was pregnant oh lost his job (due to government cut backs) and i had to leave mine as we had to move. Luckily it wasn’t long before he was working again and i worked up until i was 21 weeks. I don’t think you have to work to have a baby no but i do believe that you have to be financially stable to have a baby. But even then how much money is a good amount to have to bring a baby into this world? x x
U have a reason not to work him your unwell it’s people who can’t be bothered to even look for a job that annoy me my OH works full time and me part time in happy that I can provide for my kids and show them u have to work for things to get them x
I worked for the age of 14 till I was 25 when I got made redundant. I would prefer to have a full time job in one way so my son could have hi hearts desire how ever I would not give up spending every day with him for any thing.
I don’t think you should have to have a job to have a baby. I was 15 when pregnant 16 when I had my daughter and I wish that I had of been more prepared money wise. But saying that I’ve managed and I’ve coped, not had to borrow of anyone we make do with the money I get from the government.
I was 39 when I had my first baby, split up with my daughters father when I was 20 weeks pregnant and due to the travelling involved with my job and having no one who could drop my lg to nursery / pick her up if I was on an early / late train I’ve not been able to return to my job after maternity leave. Im now on benefits and look on it as im claiming back some of the money ive put into the ‘tax’ pot for all these years. Ideal situation would have been that my ex wouldnt be an idiot, we wouldnt have split up and he could have helped out with the pick up and drop offs and I could have gone back to work part time. Ive got over feeling guilty that Ive not gone back and that I’m supporting myself with money i’ve already paid in to the tax pot! I admire single mums who go back to work and make it work for both themselves and their lo’s and in the new year I will be looking for a part time job – maybe working from home?. Working full time wouldnt be for me. Why have a baby and let someone else look after it all the time? With the cost of living nowadays most people need a bit of financial help and if another baby were on the cards (which for me it isnt), I would say that definitely the mum or dad should be in full time work so they are self helping rather than expecting to be government helped.
I did not have a job when i fell pregnant. However andy works full time and has had the same job since he left school. X