While I respect all mothers who have large families, as I know how tough it can be at times, the one thing that does annoy me is when the older kids basically raise the younger ones. I have 6 children and while the eldest are 9, 10 and 13 and the youngest are 2, 3 and 4, other than simply keeping them entertained while I pop to the loo I have never expected ted them to help me.
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I have been very lucky with my children and the elder children do at times love playing games with the younger 3, I say at times as there are times when they want to be away doing their own thing.
Watching 19 and counting got me thinking, should the elder kids have to do as much as they do when it comes to looking after and raising the younger members of their family?
Should The older Kids Help Raise The Younger Kids?
Michelle Duggar deserves a medal, but to be honest I don’t ever see her doing anything with her kids, I mean real things, not visiting places and churches. I never see kids clinging to her legs screaming, if they do another of the elder kids comes running to rescue.
I see kids aged 5/6 cutting the garden lawn with rather big lawnmowers, I see 5/6 year old carrying the younger kids around, while I agree that all kids should have responsibilities to some extent, but really are they expected to do too much?
My dad is one of 14 and he says his older brothers and sisters raised him; his mother was far too busy with the younger kids to have time for him and the others. This makes me sad as I know how important it is to ensure each child has dedicated time and one to one attention.
It is one of the values I hold most as a mother of a larger than normal family, that each child I have is mine to care for, raise and ensure I have plenty of time for. Maybe I do it wrong; perhaps the older kids should be doing more with helping to the raise the younger ones but why should they?
I would love to hear your views… should the older kids in the family help raise the younger ones?
About The Real Supermum
Ive got a son whos 7 next months and another who is 15 months, my eldest does help as in he will help entertain the younger when im doing dinner or in the minutes i get in the toilet lol, he does play with him but he doesnt really get a choice as as soon as hes home from school the younger one is following him around
Yes we have the younger ones who have their favourites lol and follow them around like little lost sheeps
My younger 2 are entertained by my older 2, and its automatic, they like to do it. Its what siblings like to do, they wudnt do it if they didnt want to xxx
I think the parent should reason the older kids are still kids themselfs it was there choice to have a child they should raise them not an older sibling… My son helps out fetching me nappies but I wouldn’t expect him to raise my son x
the older ones playing with the little ones or keeping a eye on em for 5 mins i don’t see a issue with. but my sister annoys me, she will put the 2 year old upstairs in the 9 year olds bedroom while they chill out down stairs and she it watching them. i think that is wrong
i agree the older ones should be involved with the younger siblings but as for helping to raise them i disagree. Its down to the parents to raise their children and to be quite honest, people who will leave younger kids with any sibling under 16 is wrong. x
I’ve only got one daughter atm but in future when I have more, I’d like her to WANT to help, play with the younger ones, fetch things like nappies but I wouldn’t want her raising them I think it’s wrong, at the end of the day you wanted more children so you look after them x
mine are 8 6 and 3 and the most my eldest does for my youngest is do him a drink if his asking and im busy lol, they do keep their own rooms tidy and pick up their own toys from front room but thats it i do the rest, though my 6yo has a new found love of hoovering i am sure that wont last long lol but never would i expect my eldest to do everything for the youngest thats just wrong and its pure laziness u have ur children u look after them simple kids should be kids not being made to act like adults x
I think theres a fine line between parents’ understandings of the older siblings ‘helping’ and ‘raising’ the younger ones. i have 3 boys 16, 15 and 10 and a little girl of 19 mths. Yes i ask them to do things for her ie put her shoes on when she repeatedly takes them off or make her a bottle for after her bath whilst im getting her ready for bed. i dont see this as them raising her although i did have a discussion with my 10 year old when id asked him to pass her her cup at the table and the responce was’ omg shes your daughter !’
i know a few families where the older kids are bringing the youngers ones up. they get them up in the morning, breakfast , school run, changing nappies cooking etc . i chose to have my children so I could look after them all x
Honestly if you have to expect your children to look after more children you have then you shouldnt have them. Its not fair on older children.