Is it really anybody else’s business how many children I have or want? 
“You not knocked up again yet” was the comment I received at the school gates today
The look of surprise when I said no was astonishing. My youngest is 2 years old now, surely I would have thought about having another baby by now.
“You not having anymore? Come on Emma you keep the population going” a so called friend said to me.
Do you know how hurtful that is? I love my children, all 6 of them but I am not just a women who has babies.
How about asking about me? Why is it always about how many children I have?
How many do you have now?
Don’t you have TVs in your house?
You must be crazy
I have heard every insult under the sun.
Yes I am mother to 6 and step mum to 3, in total that’s 9 children my husband and I have between us (only my 6 live with us full time).
No I don’t pay for my children, yes I receive benefits, shock horror.
I am very sorry for that but unfortunately that’s the just the way it planned out for me. Owner of my own business for years, I was struck down with an almighty fall and after years of fighting on, I was diagnosed with Bipolar. I am returning to full time work in the next 4/6 months, despite being warned I shouldn’t just yet. My poor husband had to leave his career behind to care for me during this difficult period.
I never asked for a mental illness, I did not have my children while living on benefits, this was never planned. Why do I feel I am not good enough to be in the company of others, because I am not working, because I feel inadequate, not all benefit mums sit on their arses refusing to work.
Don’t you think I hate what I am, who I am? That a mental illness robbed me of many things, including the business I ran and worked god damn hard at building? Its all gone.
Do you think for one minute I enjoy being gawked at, talked about? Do you know me well enough to judge me?
There are not many other larger families around me, I stand out like a sore thumb when we go out.
Yes I would love to grow my family but I can’t can I? What would the neighbours say …
About The Real Supermum
There is a tendency among those lucky enough to have had a smooth ride to assume that everyone on benefits is there thru choice and because they are lazy. They should instead be thinking themselves fortunate for not having hit a bump in the road, and also thankful that should it eventually happen to them they are lucky to live in a country with a safety net.
It was soul destroying to be told I was not mentally capable of continuing to work, to have to make my husband give up his career too as I was struggling to even know my name was more self worth stolen away. We are not all the same, some dont have the choice.
I too want to have a big family. Isn’t it terrible that other people think it’s ok to judge in this way. Only 50 years ago a large family was the norm.
My dad is 1 of 14, its very normal to me yet because of how others judge I feel it wrong to want or even think about adding more to it
Who cares what other people say hun ur happy with ur family and if u want/have more children then that’s down to u… Give them something to talk about lol… We come from a big family and we get the whole there’s always a new baby in your family or don’t I have tv’s my reply our family we do what we want xx
Tell em to stick it hun. Anyway you worked for yrs so you payed taxes etc so its just what you put in they givin you back at mo. xxxx
Judgmental people do not deserve any explanations from you, although it would be nice if they really knew. You shouldn’t have any bad feelings about your situation because you had no control over it. Many people have large families, and it’s a beautiful thing. As long as your children are happy and healthy, you should be too.
Ive got five kids. Last year i was pregnant with twins. I lost them but was prepared and happy to be having twins which meant seven kids. People around me breathed a collective sigh of relief. I was devestated and want more than anything to continue to have more children. Im the only one i know who has more than three and in school or. going out its like we are a freak show. People point and literally stop and stare. One workman stopped me to say are they all yours? When i said yes he said jesus love you wanna try tv for once. It really makes me mad.
So long as children are well cared for, and however its paid for others should shut up and keep a civil tongue. Having a large brood is hard work but worth it. The haters dont quite see the skill required to raise a family so big.
You could have ten kids or two kids emma and still you would be a topic for someone. Be proud you have six. Btw ive got a 18 yr old stepdaughter too.
It is nothing to do with anyone how many kids you have. You could have another 3 kids and they can’t say shit. Sorry but it bugs me hearing all this about with you and the amount of grief you get. If it turns out in future you want another then by all means go ahead hun screw what your neighbours say, and btw it’s good to stand out, make people jealous of how much love your family has for you and each other
Big Hugs Emma. So bloody what if you are on benefits, you have worked before its not as if you haven’t worked before nor do you sit on yours arse now with the 6 kids you have at home. It really grates on me when people think benefits mums do nothing all day. They should spend a day living as a mum on benefits and see what we actually do they will soon see that we work just as much. If you want more kids then go for it, its no on else business only yours and Matt’s if you both can afford the 9 you have between you and anymore you may have as well as give them 1-2-1 time, love and a house to live in why should anyone else poke their nose in? I could understand if the kids were abused but they aint. Makes me bloody laugh how people are on benefits are picked on get a bloody grip people just because you work does not make you any better than us nor does it mean you work harder than us.
HATE it when people assume that those on benefits are only on them because they are lazy, or that they have a child because they don’t want to work. When I 1st fell pregnant, I wasn’t working, but I wasnt claiming JSA either, my boyfriend supported me. I started working again when I was 3 months pregnant, continued working throughout. I was lucky enough to be able to be a SAHM once LO was born, I didn’t receive maternity from the company I worked for…we lived on the breadline as my ex changed jobs….we seep rated last year, since then I have had no choice but to claim benefits, I have been to a few job interviews, I was even offered a job, but I had to decline as the company were asking I worked full time and some evenings I would of had to work until 9pm…i couldn’t accept it as I had no one to have LO at that time of the evening. So, before people start bitching, think about the circumstances behind the reasons before they judge. I was working from the age of 15, was never out of work. Never claimed any sort of benefit before, I don’t like being on benefits, but at the same time, it can’t be helped ATM. I will be going back to work this year, fortunately I have the rigt child care to hand now. Sorry I felt like a right old rant then lol
you make plans and god laughs i think the phrase goes. whos business is it what happens in your life so long as its all legal? is the most important thing not that your kids and you and matt are happy?? that you do all you can to make each day a good one?
I hate when people automatically tar people with the same brush! You didnt just sit down one day and think yo uknow what , sod this im gonna go onto benefits and i dont care! It upset you and you were really bothered by it , it wasnt a choice, you were forced into it. X
The way I see it, as long as your children are, loved, clean and well cared for, what business is it of anyone else?!
Its no ones business how many kids you have and weather you work or not so tell them to butt out! They are loved and cared for in every possible way. Why do people judge on the number of children? Is it a crime to want to have a big family. Its not your fault what happened to you and again it is none of their business. You are a great mum and they are just jealous because they no they aren’t getting as much action as you and don’t look as good as you after having just 1 child lol xx
just smile and say i’m populating the world with beautiful children so there are nice things to look at rather then the face your wearing
People have no right judging you or anyone else.
Those without sin cast the first stone.
In other words unless you’re perfect shut the fudge up!
I have two kids & am trying for my third.
I don’t/can’t work because of my depression/anxiety & my OH is currently out of work due to us being homeless.
He doesn’t want to tell people we’re trying because he can’t be bothered with the comments/judging.
Where as I couldn’t give a flying fudge lol x
after my 3rd i decided i wasnt having any more had just escaped from dv and other things then i met dan and after 2 years with him we decided to marry and try for a baby . i now have 4 children i be can -rhd sensitised in that pregnancy and i would like one more but other than the medical side of it is the opinions of others with the .. are you done now …..blimey you must have your hands full etc i didnt have 4 children to shock anyone !
I’m an at home mum of three with a supportive husband who at times feels overwhelmed. You make me feel truely blessed. I only hope, if I was in your situation, I could cope. You are amazing and more people should hear about you and respect you.
who cares what anyone thinks u lookafter ur kids and are a great mum xx
It’s no one else s business how many kids you have or how you support them they are well looked after that’s all that matters x
its no one else business its up to you what you do in life your a great mum and do everything for your kids xx
how rude of them! you do brilliant by your kids xxxx
As long as your kids are loved and have everything they need, why does it matter how many u have?
I would love a big family but I would prob go gray lol
Very amazing lady xx