“You not knocked up again yet” was the comment I received at the school gates today
The look of surprise when I said no was astonishing. My youngest is 2 years old now, surely I would have thought about having another baby by now.
“You not having anymore? Come on Emma you keep the population going” a so called friend said to me.
Do you know how hurtful that is? I love my children, all 6 of them but I am not just a women who has babies.
How about asking about me? Why is it always about how many children I have?
How many do you have now?
Don’t you have TVs in your house?
You must be crazy
I have heard every insult under the sun.
Yes I am mother to 6 and step mum to 3, in total that’s 9 children my husband and I have between us (only my 6 live with us full time).
No I don’t pay for my children, yes I receive benefits, shock horror.
I am very sorry for that but unfortunately that’s the just the way it planned out for me. Owner of my own business for years, I was struck down with an almighty fall and after years of fighting on, I was diagnosed with Bipolar. I am returning to full time work in the next 4/6 months, despite being warned I shouldn’t just yet. My poor husband had to leave his career behind to care for me during this difficult period.
I never asked for a mental illness, I did not have my children while living on benefits, this was never planned. Why do I feel I am not good enough to be in the company of others, because I am not working, because I feel inadequate, not all benefit mums sit on their arses refusing to work.
Don’t you think I hate what I am, who I am? That a mental illness robbed me of many things, including the business I ran and worked god damn hard at building? Its all gone.
Do you think for one minute I enjoy being gawked at, talked about? Do you know me well enough to judge me?
There are not many other larger families around me, I stand out like a sore thumb when we go out.
Yes I would love to grow my family but I can’t can I? What would the neighbours say …