I hate hearing that children get smacked, yes we all have reacted at times and slapped hands or backs of the legs or bums in extreme situations, I remember one of mine darting out onto a road and I reacted by grabbing them and lightly tapping their bum, my heart was racing and my blood was fuelled with fear, I lashed out. But if you are using smacking as a form of discipline then why are you even a parent?
What does smacking your child achieve? Do you want your child to fear you?
I have seen mothers smack their kids in public, I always feel angry and wonder what they would do if someone went up and slapped them, they would deserve it. How embarrassing you are to grab your child and smack it in front of other people, it does not make you look like a devoted mother, you are shown as a mother who has a temper. If you can do this in public, what can you do behind closed doors?
All you are doing is teaching your child that if you don’t like something then you lash out and hurt that person who you don’t like.
The laws state we can smack our children but not hitting them that hard that it would cause us to mark or bruise our children. Now this is the reason I detest smacking so much, why would any mother want to leave a huge red mark or even worse bruise their child, all because they could not control their own temper?
Is smacking abuse, yes I believe it is to an extent. It also shows what type of person you are.
Your child follows your lead, you are your child’s teacher and role model, they look up to you, if mummy hits then they can too, what you are teaching your child is very wrong.
When your child is playing with another child and doesn’t get his or her own way, the only way they know how to react is to hit out. Do you really want to be branded as the mother with the horrible child?
What does hitting your child teach it? Have you taken the time to explain to your child why you are angry or why they must not do that again? No ,you have just reacted and physically punished them, they may have no idea why you have just hurt them.
Ask yourself why your discipline involves shouting and smacking? Have you lost control?
How would you feel if you made a mistake and as a consequence someone much bigger and stronger than you came and smacked you?
What happens when the light smack no longer woks, do your smacks and slaps get harder? Where does this stop?
If your smacking your kids then your doing it wrong.
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To be completely honest I find this blog to be judge mental and rude… ” if you are using smacking as a form of discipline then why are you even a parent?” That is judge mental… My Nan smacked my mum. My mum smacked me and yes I will admit I smack my daughter. There’s nothing wrong with my mum and nothing wrong with me. I do not ” beat ” my child which is what the law says…. My child does not hit anyone else and I warn first not just lash out my child understands why she got a smack on the bum. To say that a choice a parent makes is the wrong one by you is judgmental….
I’m very anti smacking and 100% agree with this blog. It teaches children nothing apart from its ok to hit someone if they are mean to you. I really don’t understand why parents choose to hit/tap what ever you want to call it, their children when there are other more effective wayss of dealing with it. I saw a woman just yesterday belt her child accross the bum, to which he laughed and carried on….
xxx
On the other hand I do TRY not to judge people who do smack their children and I wouldn’t ever dream of saying it to them, what works for one doesn’t for another.
I just don’t know why you would want to hurt your baby
I agree but then again ainslee gets 3 warnings if he’s naughty after the 3rd (which is very rarely anymore) he gets a tap on the wrist & then he knows he’s been naughty id never physically hurt him!
I’ve smacked my children not hard enough to hurt them, only if they have done something dangerous. So I totally disagree with you saying that ‘ if your smacking your kid then your doing it wrong’ I got smacked of my parents and I knew not to do it again.
I completely agree with this!! I detest smacking.. There’s soooo many other ways to discipline ur child.. Why would a parent seriously want to physically HURT their child
awful!! I was smacked as a child, I ended up fearing my step mum.. Then it turned into hatred!! It didn’t make anything better.. Or teach me anyt.. I got smacked for control! So yes I completely agree…
I don’t believe I am doing anything wrong or dont deserve to be a parent by giving my son a tap on the hand when hes being naughty and has had 3 warnings to stop. My mum smacked me as a child when I was naughty and I didn’t turn around and smack other kids because of it. If I didn’t give my son a tap on the hand after his warnings then he would be seriously hurt and end up in hospital on numerous occasions, then I would be called a bad mum because I didn’t do anything to stop him from doing it! Now days you can’t do anything without being judged for it. Also correct me if I am wrong but isn’t one of the rules for the group not to judge others for the things they do or the way they parent??
and when i say smack i do not mean full on beating the poor child up. there is a difference there
i was smacked as a child on the bum n a tap on the hand n it never did me any harm … n yes i have tapped my sons bum n hand the odd time ….. i understand y ppl don’t like it n yes a crack with left handpraints is damn right wrong n on the score i totally agree with u but i dont think a tap will do any harm xx
posted on behalf of Shell Jones
Ive got five kids, four boys. Four boys who are known as chaos, madness, trouble and strife. My daughter very rarely misbehaves. I grew up in a violent home so i always said i was loathe to hit my children when i had them. But then they came along. I tap my children when they are out of line. They sometimes just push all the buttons and if they light my fuse i will react. However i never mark them. Sometimes that takes remarkable self control when your 11 year old is pulling his sisters waist length hair and shes screaming, and your 7 year old is biting your 4 year old and your one year old is screaming or screeching just to annoy you. Ive only ever once hit one of my children and it left a mark. He bit me . Hard. It broke the skin then while i was tending to that he threw his sister down the stairs. She was hurt. I snapped. He was laughing and i hit him. Instantly i.regretted it and my son cowered away from me. I packed my bags and when my oh came home i told him what i did. He wouldnt let me leave but i promised my son i would never lay a hand on him again. I was disgusted with myself. Now when i feel that enraged i leave the room. If all the kids want to rip each other to bits tough. I cant take back what i did and i hate i marked my son. He doesnt forget either.
If you lay your hands on your child in temper it is wrong. It does untold damage to them. Marks might fade but memorys dont.
I have to say I totally agree with this as the parent of an 11 year old I did smack but it only made her turn into an angry vicious child who lashed out at her siblings and then turned on me in retaliation I had no one but myself to blame I taught her this behavior as my parents had taught me before thankfully I recognized this and gave been able to break this cycle and implement better patenting practices
i tap my daughters hand when shes naughty,i dont do it hard. i was smacked as a child myself and it did me no harm
I was given 3 warnings as a child and on the last one my parents counted to 3 then I would get a smack on the bottom if I carried on with the bad behaviour. I haven’t turned out bad I knew right from wrong. I have only ever tapped my son on the hand when I told him no several times for throwing wooden bricks at a family member after that he didn’t do it again. I dont class myself as a bad parent. I would never ever beat my child. I also do not class my mum as a bad parent. I see many parents are too scared to even tell their child off therefore they run wild trying to get attention from people.
I would say someone’s a bad parent for severly smacking/ hitting their child in public or in private.
I am all for it tbh, I was smacked as a child when needed and I dont fear my parents, far from it, I admire them and we are very close. The problem with this country is they have gone soft on disaplin and look at the state of the country. Kids have no respect and get away with murder now a days, so much changes and never for the better
‘But if you are using smacking as a form of discipline then why are you even a parent?’ This one line is so judgemental and has actually shocked me. I always assumed there was no judging one another, sharing views of course but judging?! I was smacked as a child, i was never violent but i knew my boundaries and i behaved. I didnt fear my parents and im not phsychologically or physically damaged. I will admit i have smacked my children, but i have never left a mark on them, and i have only ever done it when they have been doing something really bad and dangerous. I do though, believe you should only ever use this form of punishment on only your own children, never someone elses, and only when they have done something shockingly bad. I think when smacking is used regularly it can become confusing for the child and yes, they may start hitting etc, but if used only in really bad cases they will know not to do it again. ‘If your smacking your kids then your doing it wrong.’ – No, if using smacking as a form of punishment, then you are simply doing it your own way!! I really wish people would stop with the judging…everyone parents in their own different ways.
I cant believe someone said if you hit your child your a bad parent!
Oh to be so saintly!
Im not a bad parent. I am by no means the best parent of the year but a bad parent? Er no. I really take offence to that statement. If people are honest enough to admit they have smacked their child they dont deserve to be called bad parents. Judging much!
My daughter has a disability so finds it hard to conduct herself , I use the naughty step to make her aware of her actions , I have always held the view we all parent in a way that we see fit so what’s great for 10 people might not be good for the next ten . Each to there own xx
i think most ppl are missing the main point.. the difference between a tap or a smack. a tap is softer and dose not leave marks, it is not done to cause pain more of to give the child a shock. a smack leaves red marks/brusing and hurts. i was smacked as a child and i agree if you go that far on your child then yes to me that it wrong. willingly hurting your child is not good parenting
Ok so ur child is kicking off in the super market u need to get home and its constantly ” I want” what do u do? “If u don’t stop this I’m going to put u on the naughty supermarket floor”? and wait around till they do it? Bollox are u!! Ur going to try and find the fastest way to get the shopping and get home away from the embarrastment… When u see a very misbehaving child out on the street 1st throught just give it a smack not oh naughty step for that child…. Tell u what I hate going out with my daughter at mo because socioty makes u feel bad with u can’t and cans!!! Shouting at a child in public oh not allowed to do that will get judged buy a packet of chips to shut them up oh no can’t do that bad parent look at the state of the sociaty now with all this don’t do this don’t do that!!! In my opinon I think its not to great to force feed ur child veggies if ur a vegiterian but I don’t dare tell a parent their doing it wrong. Have u all throught maybe this mother has tried everything else before giving this child a smack? No everyone is to busy judging others then actually getting on with their own lives…. To much lack of disapline is going to leave this world all in police stations….
Im not ashamed to say nate gets a tap on the hand or bum when nothing else works. he gets warnings, time out. but sorry a lot of the time this molly coddling.form of ‘discipline’ we are being told to use now is bull. im 22 and my parents were never shy to give me a a slap on the arse when i was younger. i still had time out etc. but i didnt grow up in fear of my parents. i didnt become a bully. kids are getting out of control lately. some due to poor parenting. but some of it is cause we cant discipline our kids anymore for fear of social services due to some busy body neighbour who has no idea what goes on.
Zach (20M) gets a tap on the hand (and I mean a tap not a smack) when he’s had enough warnings. As soon as he is old enough though it will stop and the time out method will be used. At 20M, telling him “Don’t do that because it’s hot and will hurt you” he’s really not going to understand what you’re saying. I was smacked on my legs as a child when I was really misbehaving and it hasn’t done me any harm
See i dont know how this will go down, but when i was a child it was perfectly normal to get a clip round the ear from your parents if you crossed a line. I never did the same ‘wrong’ thing twice! Im not a bad person, i have manors, and im not violent. My son is three and not been so naughty he needs a tap on the bum yet (touch wood!) But i dont think i would not do it because its “abuse!” Kids 20 years ago when smacking was ok were never as naughty as kids generally these days. we, as a society, let our children get away with murder!!
I agree with alys that’s the biggest problem in today’s society parents are to afraid to chastise there children for fear of being judged or getting in to trouble 20 years ago when parents was allowed kids weren’t half as naughty as they are today my nan smacked my mums bum when she had done wrong and shes perfectly healthy and my mum smacked my bum if I did really wrong and I’m still here to tell the tale and yes if my kids go to far then they do get a smack on the bum all tho I very rarely end up smacking them as the naughty step works brill right now I do not agree with full palm smacking a child that’s just cruelty but the general smacked bottom won’t do much