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The 21st May 2008 was the best and worst day of my life. I had just been told I was pregnant. I was happy and sad as I was going be a single mum. I kept goin through things in my head, how would I cope? How would the dad react?
I rang the father of my unborn child and he was happy that I was pregnant, but as the weeks followed the dad started having doubts he was the father.
On the 6th june I had a booking in appointment, I was nervous as I was a single mum and I invited the dad along but he doubted I was even pregnant, so didnt show up. After that appointment dad started asking me to abort the baby. I was so stressed that I started bleeding at 8 weeks. I got sent for early scan, I was worried I was losing my baby. Mum attended hospital with me, everything was well.
I went to seek legal advice via solicitors and got a warning letter sent to the dad saying his behaviour was upsettin me and the baby, that worked and for rest the pregnancy my babies dad behaved himself.
On the 2nd of January I went into labour at 37 weeks, my little girl was born 8.29 pm, weighin 4 lb 12 and my mum told me I shud inform the father. I did and he came to the hospital on the 6th of January to see our little girl. We decided to let him be apart of the babies life, that worked for four monts. He then again doubted he was the dad so went missing for eight months.
At aged one he decided to be a dad again, but four months later he had enough of playing daddy so I took it back to the solicitors where we got a contact centre involved. That was in 2010 which went well up until 2011 wen he decided play hit and miss with our daughter . I kept fighting him to see our little one but realised I was making thngs worse.
Final straw come in May this year when the contact centre got fed up with his games and cut our place. I feel I am failing my daughter as she does not have a dad. The only reasons he has is because his drink and drugs come first to him. I feel she is missing something that she needs.
This post is an anonymous guest post*
About The Real Supermum
You’re doing a great job, hes failing not you! at least when your daughter is older you can tell her you tried your best. Good luck in the future xx
Aww hun! You are doing a wonderful job as a mum. You have tried everything so don’t blame yourself. He is the one not making an effort to see his own daughter. You are not failing her. If anyone is failing your little girl it is him! Xx
big hugs hunni. what a joke that man is to put drink and drug before a beautiful little girl, he should be ashamed of himself!!! he hasnt just failed he has epically failed!! your daughter is better off without him, you have tried and thats the main thing, in no way have you failed that little girl, she has a fantastic mummy who has tried her best for her and will continue to try the best possible. ur doing an amazing job hunni xxx
You’re doing a fantastic job hun. If he’s going to be like that then she doesn’t need him she has all she wants and needs from you. Just remember when she’s older she’ll know that her mummy is great and that she did it all herself xx
Your doing a great job Hun its his loss. Just wait untill she is old enough she will make her own decisions of him and see what a waste of space he is x
oh hunny you are no way what so ever fauiling your daughter men just dont grow up and take resposiblity for the actions you daughtet has her mummy who loves cares and looks after her all the time in years to cme he is the one that will have to deal with your daughter questioning him not you as to why her daddy left and then maybe the he may realise what a waste of space he really is keep your chin up chick xxxx
im a single mom too and the fact is you cant make someone be a dad but you can do your best to be your all for your baby, youll find yourself alot happier by ignoring him and dealing with life as it is as will your baby xx
hun at the end of the day its his fault, not yours, you hve bought your little girl up and provided for her when he has done nothing. you are not failing at all x
Love, your daughter don’t need that in her life. You say you’ve failed her, when in fact you have done the complete opposite. You have saved her. Saved her from a life of hurt, torment and let downs. Keep being strong and brave hun you have done nothing wrong. X
If he can do this he has no right to the title of dad
When your daughter is old enough to ask where her father is, you will be able to tell her that you tried everything possible to ensure that he saw her and that it was his choice that he didnt want to see her. We can’t make our ex’s want to be a father and if he doesn’t want to know his daughter and see her grow up then it is his loss. It’s hard being mummy and daddy (im a single mum of 40 to a 12 month old) but you, nor or I, are failures in any way and you are better off spending your energies elsewhere rather than on your ex x
Shes missing out on nothing. Alot better off without someone picking her up and dropping her when he feels like it. Youre doing a brilliant job x
big hugs hunni n as 4 her dad no shes not missing out on him at all by the looks of it , ur doing a fab job as both parents xx
you sound like your doing a fab job without him, your not failing your child at all, if anything HE is the one failing the pair of you but a child doesnt NEED both parents to survive, in time there will be questions but when the time comes u will know how to answer, just be honest, you tried your very very best and went beyond your call of duty to try to get him to be involved and he is the one who chose to turn down all those opportunities, im in a similar situation myself, except that my sons father walked out the day before my first scan, he wasnt there at all through the pregnancy nor the last 3 years of my sons life, iv tried and tried and tried and now i know its finally time to give up trying, im just making things worse for myself by offering chances that are being thrown back in my face, its his loss, not the childs, you sound like your doing great as both mum and dad so stop worrying and enjoy it, when your lg grows into a wonderfull young woman you can stand tall and proud that you did it all yourself
xxx
you are not failing your daughter. One day she will see the efforts you went to, to try and get him to be a part of her life. Im sure your doing a grand job =) he is failing her, not you xx
your not failing your daughter one bit hun she will no when she is older what you went to for her and for him to be part he is the one that is failing her and she will see that as she grows up your a fantastic mum don’t think other wise chin up well done xxx
Big hugs huni xx