Heroin and pregnancy in the same sentence? That has got to be a joke right? I mean we all know the dangers that taking drugs during pregnancy can cause. A rather inspirational mother shares with me her battle against getting clean for the sake of her unborn baby.
Heroin and Pregnancy – Does this make me a bad mother?
Iv always known I wanted to be a mum. I always said I would stop smoking and do everything I could, eat the right
things, take the right pills. I have always been a party girl, loved going out with friends, but drinking soon led to drugs. To start with it was just when I was out and soon it became more and more often.
A friend one day passed a spliff over to me and I smoked it. Without knowing it I was smoking heroin. I smoked more and more spliff’s with them and before I knew it I was smoking heroin with them every day. I still didn’t know what it was and didn’t till almost a year later when I was diagnosed with swine flu. The Swine flu symptoms turned out to be withdrawals from the heroin. I was disgusted with myself but couldn’t stop my addiction. Although I wasn’t enjoying it any more and didn’t feel any pleasure from it, the pain from withdrawals was so bad that I couldn’t stop.
Eventually I took myself down to a local drugs centre and got the help I needed. They gave me pills I could take to stop the pain. I would then be able to wean myself off the pills. Bit by bit. Day by day. I had been putting weight on which I had put down to the fact I was eating more little did I know I was pregnant.
I stopped going to the drug centre and weaned myself off of the tablets. The very next weekend I notice my nipples were leaking. I wasn’t having periods so the thought of being pregnant was the last thing on my mind. Still I took a pregnancy test and within seconds a line appeared in the box. I went to the doctors were he confirmed I was pregnant and at least 6 months gone. I explained that if those dates were right I would have been pregnant before I started my drugs treatment.
I had been smoking heroin and pregnancy was certainly not the ideal time to become a heroin addict. I had to get clean and stay clean and fast.
My baby became my first priority, I wanted to make sure everything was OK. I had extra scans and had to see a special midwife every week were I was drugs tested, I stayed free of heroin and pregnancy gave me a real focus to change my life. Social services where informed. I had already come off my medication and they were happy and closed the case. Two months later I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. 4lb 15 and healthy
As soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped taking heroin, I will never stop feeling guilty about what I did during those first few months of my pregnancy but my baby came before heroin and I am so glad that I changed my life.
People hear my story and think I am a bad mum. But am I?