The first time it was a slap. Right across my cheek. Swiftly followed by a very vocal explanation as to what I did to deserve it.
The second time he punched me and split my lip. Again he shouted his reason as I wiped up the blood.
The third time I couldn’t see out of my eye for days.
The fourth time he was really angry. This time I was punched in the stomach. Those seconds when I was winded and couldn’t catch my breath made me wonder if I was dying. He was laughing at my face, said I looked panic stricken.
The fifth time he sent the dinner flying at my head. I had overcooked one stupid roast potato. I needed stitches.
The sixth time he threw me across the room. I landed on the coffee table. It broke. I think a bit of me did too.
The seventh time he made me cower in the corner like a dog while he hit me with his belt. I had crossed some derogatory line. I was past wondering what it was. By then I was pretty sure he made the reasons up as he went along.
The eighth time he tried to drown me in the bath. He had made me get in with him and i got some water in his eye. He grabbed my head and held me under. My lungs burned, i was frantic. He was smiling.
The ninth time he grabbed my hair and broke my nose. I had forgotten the sugar in his tea.
The tenth time was the charm. The tenth time he was so angry while he was choking me he forgot to let go. I struggled, I passed out, and he still carried on, lost in a rage. He stopped eventually and I dropped to the floor. He sat with me for hours. Telling me all the ways I had upset him. All the things I did wrong. He said he could tell me now as I wouldn’t answer back. He stayed with me while my body went cold and hard like him.
After a while he called for help. But then he left me. Too gutless to own up to his actions. He didn’t say sorry. He didn’t say he loved me. He just laid it all on me. The coroner felt bad for me. My family cried for me. But he was like a robot as they caught him and jailed him for my murder. He sits in jail now and we are both equals. Cold, hard and dead to the world.