This is hard for me to write but it’s something I want to share. It was the 12th of February 2011, I was 3 days overdue, I had a feeling I was going into labour back ache couldn’t settle ( my adopted mum who have now fell out with ad gone out but decided not to drink as she knew I was going into labour).
At 4am I had my first contraction so took paracetamol & hopped in the bath, they didn’t stop every 3 minutes lasting 30 seconds but somehow I managed to get a good night’s sleep and woke again at 11:am still having contractions. I went by my normal day painful yes but I could manage it.
At 1am Sunday morning they got bad but still manageable I had been in labour 24hours lasting every 3 minutes, how I managed I don’t know. I went to the hospital where I was told I was 1.5cm dilated and to go home & rest. Yeah right was she the one in pain no. She said to go back 6pm that night.
All through the day constant contractions every 3 minutes so I had tea & went hospital where I was told I was only 1cm, now they gave me stronger pain killers and sleeping tablets and to go home well 20 minutes later at home the tablets had all worn off and the pain was like no other. Back I went where they put me on a ward with a shot of pethidine.
They left me there in a room on my own at 17 ( my partner was not allowed with me due to it being late at night) I kept asking for pain relief, they were now every 2 minutes and lasting a minute, the next I remember it was 12pm on Monday and I was in the bath.
It didn’t help and I was screaming in pain, they just left me, in fact the cleaner was much more helpful than the midwife’s, she sat with me chatting to me and telling me how to ease the pain (my son was back to back) they then gave me gas and air on the ward and I don’t remember much until 11am Tuesday morning, having been in labour 3 days now.
I missed my partner and was scared after shouting and screaming at the midwife she finally examined me to find I was 5cm, so I rang my partner and was transferred to delivery. After this I don’t remember much although one thing that seems to stick on my head is saying I needed to pee and sitting on the toilet for what felt like minutes but according to my partner I had been in there 30 minutes.
All I know is I was stuck on monitors, had a trainee midwife, was refused an epidural even though it was a good time to do it and they then tried to move me, big mistake, I couldn’t physically move, then it went downhill. She broke my waters and they were black, my baby had had a poo, I know it’s dangerous but she didn’t seem bothered by it.
Then I started to lose consciousness and my baby’s heart beat dropped to 24bpm and with every contraction my body rejected my son and tried to push him out he was dying inside me. I had a lady come in put a cannula in and spoke to me about a C-section although now i don’t remember this. Then all of a sudden she hit this button and loads of people started to flood in.
Next thing I know I am in theatre being pinned down to the table and put to sleep (back in the room my partner was being told he may lose me & the baby or at least one of us). I then woke up covered in wires and feeling empty and I remember saying to the nurse observing me in recovery “Am I a mummy or is my baby an angel?” it had taken me 4hours to come round. I then had to wait 30 minutes to see my baby.
THE AFTER CARE
Shortly after my partner left visiting time was over they told me off for not having pain relief. I felt no pain at all surprisingly, I couldn’t move, I had a catheter in so I kept asking to hold my son to breast feed and they told me off for that too. I asked them to change him; she said she would so as he had settled I fell asleep.
Next morning I woke up and my bed was full of blood (they had put a pad on but left my knickers off and it had gone everywhere) it was 7am. I asked the lady to help me with my pants and she said I didn’t need them as I was going for a shower shortly. They then removed my cannula and I bled out of my hand all over the sheets.
I couldn’t hold my baby as my bed was covered in wee (my catheter hadn’t been changed and was leaking all over the bed) soaked in blood and I was crying. My partner turned up and went mad, there I sat at 11am still in all the blood and piss and to top it off my son had been in the same shitty nappy for 10 hours, they hadn’t changed him.
I went for a shower after demanding and I self-discharged myself, I felt happier at home than at the hospital. I don’t feel I was giving any care at all. I was neglected, it was 4 days of horror and I will never give birth again, I am too scared now. They packed me off with 7 injections 1 for each day to thin my blood and some stockings and that was that. Thankfully back home I received amazing care from my partner.
Stuart James; born 15th of February 2011, weighing 8lb 6.5; that is my birth story. I still get very upset and have flash back but I feel there is nothing I can do.