In a relationship, we’re all too often concerned about what the other person is thinking and feeling. We want to make sure they don’t lose interest or develop feelings for someone else. Basically, we want to make it impossible for their feelings to change. But what about our own feelings? Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, our feelings might change, for the good…or for the bad. If you aren’t feeling the same about your partner as you have in the past, it can be a scary thing, and you might not know if you should work through it or pack your bags.
Here’s what to do if your feelings change.
Before you make any rushed decisions, think about how the rest of your life is going right now. Often, when we’re stressed, we fixate on something other than the real problem to avoid dealing with it. If all of a sudden your partner annoys you all day long, are you sure it’s really him? Are there other things in your life that might be causing you to be on such an edge? Sometimes, the problem starts with you. If you’ve taken stock of your life and everything is flowing along nicely, it’s time to consider your relationship and break it down, to see if you can pinpoint where the issue might be. Have you and your partner been arguing a lot? Are there core values that you differ on? When it comes to the future, do you want different things? Even if you’ve discussed all these things before, resentment can build without you even really being aware of it, until one day, you wake up completely unattached to the person you’ve loved for so long. Rather than throw a relationship away, take the time to fix your problems and issues as a couple. This requires a heavy dose of communication that isn’t easy, nor will it be fun…but it’s worth it.
Unfortunately, feelings can change without any reasoning behind them. When this happens, it’s difficult to be honest because your partner is going to want to know why. Many times, women say that their feelings change, when in reality, they’ve always known that the relationship wasn’t right, but they just weren’t strong enough to end it sooner. It’s not as if one day you love the person and the next you can’t stand them, at least not usually. Sometimes our feelings can be tricky though, and fleeting. Sure, you might feel different about your partner one day, but is it worth throwing away a relationship based on a feeling…or lack of it? For some, the answer is absolutely yes. For others, it’s not. The best thing to do is be honest with your partner and give them a chance to fix the problem rather than blindsiding them with a declaration that you just don’t love them anymore.
Relationships are work, and it’s not always going to be sunshine and rainbows, there are going to be days when you can’t stand the other person or wonder why you’re in the relationship at all. But this isn’t the time to give up, it’s the time to try harder to make your love work…if it’s worth it to you, of course.