Addicted to online sex a mother shares with me her devastation when she realised her addiction had taken over her life and she could no longer care for her children.
Addicted To Online Sex; I was unable to care for my kids
It all started when my dad got the internet, I was 15 and I needed it for my school exams. I soon got sucked in from chat rooms, local ones mainly. The escape it gave me from bulling and the stress at school was welcoming. Soon I was addicted, going on there from finishing school at 3 and not coming off till past midnight and with parents 40 years older than me they didn’t really understand the internet back then (this was 10 years ago).
They just thought I was doing work researching things. Soon I was chatting to men, older men were coming on to me, I loved the attention how it made me feel. It got so much that I ended up having two mobiles, one for mum and dad and one for internet friends.
Within 3 months I was meeting people and not telling my parents, I think I must have met 20 people in the first few weeks. I met my first boyfriend Sofien (he was French and lush). I lost my virginity to him, but looking back he was using me. I was still meeting people but things got worse. I started playing with them and taking it further.
After about 3 months I got with my eldest childs dad and the internet didn’t interest me. For 2 years I was free of it only using it occasionally. Then when I broke up with my middle child’s dad I spiralled out of control. I was in an abusive relationship and when he left I had no one, the internet was the only place I could get comfort and attention.
By that time I couldn’t cope, my parents took over care of my boys for me. I was meeting and sleeping with 10-20 men a week, I became addicted to online sex. I wanted to try everything and be the best at sex (maybe I would keep a guy if I was great in bed). Meeting up strangers from the internet became a daily plan of mine. I realise now i was in need of attention and help. But I couldn’t see it.
Being addicted to online sex meant that normal men didn’t interest me, I had to have met them on the internet for me to get my thrill.
I actually rather enjoyed being addicted to sex, online made it easier for me to open up, it made me happy, I would look for it everywhere. I would spend all night online chatting to find the next guy, my phone would go off all the time. To this day my parents never knew what I was doing. It has taken 3 years to stop and be happy. I must have met 1000 people and slept with over half of them. I am 25 and happy now.
I met my partner off the same site I used to meet the one night stands; I can say I have never been in love so much. He knows my past and loves some of my stories of what happened,(he knew me throughout the whole thing being a friend). He gets worried about my past but we all have one.
After a year of not going in that chat site when I did go in the old room I used to haunt, there are still the same guys chatting away. Last night I went in there and there were 40 people in there, 23 I had met.
I guess I want people to read this and not get sucked in by chat rooms and find the help somewhere else. I am lucky nothing bad ever happened.
- Cyberbullying and Other Online Dangers Keep Parents On Guard (therealsupermumblog.com)