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I often have mums asking me whether they should continue to try to coax their child into eating their tea, when they have hardly eaten anything for fear of sending them to bed on an empty stomach.
The simple fact is no child will deliberately starve themselves, many kids become fussy eaters at some point while others seem to love the extra attention they get from being some what naughty at tea time.
If your child throws their food onto the floor, use the 3 second rule get what you can that’s clean back onto the plate or bin it. There is nothing else, no second helping and certainly no pudding.
This is where many mums fail, as they get mummy guilt that they are going to send their kids to bed hungry. Well I am afraid that’s tuff luck, they soon learn that meals are there for a certain amount of time and are to be ate.
There is a huge difference to a child not liking the food or the child having no appetite due to illness, but for those kids who make such a fuss its time to learn that if they don’t eat up, there is nothing else.
Feeding a family of 8 as there is in my house is time consuming and costly, we will make 2 meals even 3 when we all fancy something difference but on normal days we all eat the same, we make meals that all the family enjoys and if you don’t eat it, then that’s it till supper time.
I have witnessed the screaming fits, from not wanting to sit in the high chair to throwing food onto the floor before even attempting a mouthful. I have seen a child sit and refuse to eat, deciding to sit and watch the plate of food instead. Either way after everyone has finished eating that’s it, the waste goes into the bin and those that ate a fair amount get a desert, the ones who didn’t don’t. Oh what a cruel mummy I am. (Yes I have been known to give in).
But I would never send my kids to bed hungry, a slice of toast is always offered at super time if nothing else, if they decide they don’t want this either then I assume they are not hungry and off they go to bed. I have never had a child wake to tell me they are hungry, I have never had a child cry to tell me they are hungry.
I witness some mums who do use the go to bed hungry method as a form of punishment for bad behaviour at the dinner table or for refusing to eat. I personally do not recommend this.
If a child misbehaves while the family is sat down eating, then remove the child from the room, sit them on the naughty step or use the method you have in place, not send them to bed at tea time to stay there for the remainder of the night.
Am I wrong in thinking sending a child to bed on an empty stomach and expecting them to not eat for say 14 hours ( Sent to bed at 6pm to not eat breakfast till 8am) is a form of abuse?
So my dear readers I ask you – Is sending a child to bed hungry a form of abuse? Leave me a comment to let me know your views.
A Debate Corner Post By The Real Supermum
About The Real Supermum
I really dont agree with sending your child to bed hungry as a form of punishment. If need be take your childs chocolate or dessert, but one of their main meals?! We need food to survive and for your child to be healthy they need to eat proper meals. So taking their meal times away from them really…is damaging their health. Also with weight being such an issue now, children need to be taught the importance of having meals at the correct times. Just my opinon of course xx
I have to say I have sent my lb to bed a couple of times with no dinner because of his behaviour and he hasnt woken up saying he is hungry. He hardly eats anyway and is a very fussy eater and probably eats about the same as an 8 month old does hes 4 btw and often refuses to eat anything before bed
We always enforce the rule that if you dont eat enough dinner then you dont get a pudding and if no dinner is eaten then all that is offered before bed is fruit, if this isnt wanted either then they will go to bed at bedtime with nothing, like the article says no child will.starve themselves and if they are truly hungry they will.eat whats on offer. I wouldnt take a meal away as punishment for bad behaviour but if.the child has.refused to.eat food that I know they would normally eat then yes they will.go.to bed with nothing.
All my kids are good with their food. I have the attitude of if you eat, you eat, if you don’t, then that’s it. Nothing else should be offered. I won’t have a child dictate to me what they want to eat and when they want to eat. That’s my choice. And if they miss their tea, then I wouldn’t offer nothing else until breakfast. Mealtimes are when they eat, I wouldn’t offer food before bed so it can sit on their stomach all night. I know that they ain’t being starved. X
my 3 year old can be a nightmare at tea time not eating his dinner then cries he is hungry i offer toast fruit and similar he says no, not hungry for that when asked what he is hungry for its sweets and chocolate so yes he goes to bed “hungry” in his words but no i dont see this a problem
I let alexia eat when she wants. Im not strict on time etc. If shes hungry she will eat, if not it goes in the micro till she says “dinner”. If someone said to me ” right you eat dinner when I do or you starve” id tell em to pee off. She doesnt make a fuss though, ill put it in front of her, if she doesnt want it she says no and I take it away.
I’m a firm believer in if you don’t eat what your given at tea time then you go without, I had the same done to me and I’m not a fussy eater, my daughter was extremely fussy and now will eat almost anything, I always leave the food on the table if she wants to ect it its there I’m not starving her the food it there
With us we dish his tea when we have ours of he doesn’t eat it he goes to bed at bedtime with nothing else offered until breakfast. However he is in toddler formula so I know he’s not missing out on nutrients he needs and if he wakes I’ll give him extra milk (but he doesn’t) x
feedin your child is a nessety1 their behavour should not in no way determin weather they are fed!! i think its disgustin not feedin your child because of their behaviour!!
ooops read it wrong pmsl xx
I have tried the don’t eat what I eat at dinner then go without method and gave in after a week as my boy stopped eating anything I offered toast fruit even chocolate he still refused to eat and started crying because he was hungry. I would offer something before bed but still wouldn’t eat anything. He has even to this day stopped eating most things and refuses to eat what he would normally eat (fish fingers and waffles) I’m lost at what I can do now even hv and diet specialist is stumped :/ I don’t see it as abuse but I know for a fact it can bite you in the butt
x
I wouldnt call it abuse.. id say its only a last resort..if a child physically will not eat their tea, then there is nothing more you can do , and sometimes forcing them to eat can only make things worse.. but obviously if parents are saying ”If you dont play nicely , then your not having any tea!” then thats completely wrong x
I was a really bad eater when I was little .. I would throw the food on the floor, I’d give it to my dog, I’d give it to my brother I did everything with it .. so my mum sent me to bed hungry and I’m fine .. I had no choice BUT to eat my meal, I soon knew that .. at the end of the day your child is NOT going to starve from missing ONE meal. If my daughters anything like me I will be doing the same as my mum did to me, it did me no harm.
id never eb able to send reanne to ebd hungry.. iv told her to go bed and shes sat at the bottom of the stairs until shes calmed her self down then i give her the choice u want your tea or not? oif she says no it goes in the kitchen and she stares at me when she thinks i can tsee lol.. then i ask her again if she says no then it goes in the bin.. but i do give in a few hours later and make her some toast or somthing as i feel guilty, it dont bother me if she dotn eat all day long but the 1st and last meal of the day is important.. i think… u no your self what its like to go to bed with a rumbling belly? id not use the word abuse but id say cruel and could never do it xx
i would do it if i had to last resort but no child is gonna eat if there not hungry its how they work but it could also lead to problems as they get older usin food as a way of control is a bad idea been there done it NEVER would i do it to my lb to punish him
I think it really depends on the situation, if a child is genuinely being naughty and won’t eat what their given then yeah I wouldn’t offer them anything else and they would go to bed at bed time. I wouldn’t send them straight to bed. and I wouldn’t use bed as a form of punishment. Obviously I wouldn’t punish them for not eating something they did not like either. But I don’t think it’s abuse if a child goes to bed hungry after being offered food. If the child doesn’t get offered anything at all, then yes that is abuse.
Not as a punishment no xx
i dont think its a punishment as such but i could not do it purely becoz if i go to bed hungry i have a restless night sleep n wake with a headache so i wont do it to my child as they need a good night sleep so i will give them super regardless if tea has been eaten or not xx
I dont think i could send my lo to bed on an empty stomach but if she didnt eat her tea she would have no treat aftterwards and would just have to make do till supper time when she would have apiece of toast or something just to put some food in her belly. I must admit i have given in some days tho lol x
I think when a child is hungry no matter time day or night it is you should feed them! …
I have a son and who is now 6 but when he was round about the age of 1 – 2 he started to think he was BOSS of me. He would refuse to eat his dinner no matter how long i sat him at dinner table for then he would go to bed having ate no dinner atall witch i would sob till i went to bed knowing he had nothing to eat but the difrence is he chose not to eat it and would wake me up around 1am 2am and even 3am demanding dinner so being a mummy i jumped out of bed turned coocker on and made him dinner . I got to a point i was sobbing constant he didnt sleep at the best of time , his younger brother had reflux so all he did was cry constant aswell so had an apt with peadiatrision and he said ” when ****** dosnt eat his dinner DO NOT make him anything when he demands as he is controlling you he new when he never ate his dinner i would cook when he told me to so after 2long years i finally done it again crying my heart out because he was hungry but then he finilly started to know that i wasnt going to do what he says and that he had no other choice but to eat dinner or wait till morning , so in circumstances like that i would not go back to jumping out of bed a crazy hours and cooking a 1 – 2year old dinner on his demand, but misbaving is what all kids do so sending them to bed because they bisbehaved i personally would say was abuse , also sending a child to bed hungry is not a form or reasonible punishment i would say its deffo a form of abuse no child should ever be hungry . But as i said my child was controlling me and i was advised by peadiatrition not to do it or it would never stop and he would carry on now its stopped so quiet glad but heartbraking at the time but no child should have “misbehave and you will go to bed hungry” ever done or said to them in my opinion .
if my children 10,8 and 7 refuse to eat then thats tjoer choice but i wont offer other food we eat at 6ish they go to bed and half 7 , they then wont eat until breakfast .
i wouldnt make them not eat through punishment though
I never made a big deal out of my child not wanting to eat dinner, but I also did not make her anything different. I discussed this with a doctor, who said, “Children will eat when they are hungry. If you make a big deal out of it then they will also.”
I do feel using not eating as punishment is a form of abuse. I also read overfeeding children is a form of abuse. I had this boyfriend, who would fill my child’s plates like she was a grown man. I also had men do this to me. I felt they wanted me fat, so no one else would look at me.
I would tell him it was not his job to put the food on my child’s plate. Then he would fight with me in front of my child, so to avoid this I waited until he left the kitchen to throw her unwanted portion away. Then we would giggle together because his dumbass never knew. It’s a shame I did not have a dog then because she would have eaten like a Queen…lol.