Credit
What was the most painful break up you ever had? Was the question I read on my group. I remember back to almost 6 years now when my own marriage ended. Standing there that Monday morning holding my divorce papers in shaking hands I wept. Crying because my marriage was finally over and that chapter to my life was closed, these papers gave me back so much more than just my maiden name. It gave me freedom.
While divorcing the man who ruled our marriage with fear and mental and physical torture for 11 years would seem adequate to many, I still felt sadness, a sense of failure. I had never once thought I would end our marriage, taking those vows to love and cherish him forever was what I had promised, I do not break promises easily.
The man I had loved and spent so many years of my life with had pushed me to leave him, I tried so very hard, I really did. But in the end I could no longer live the lie, my children were effected and my life was no longer worth living. I lived in fear everyday. Domestic violence stole my happy ever after, my husband and the father to 3 of my children.
11 years of domestic violence I suffered before I succumbed the courage to leave. I did not want to end my marriage, I loved this man and I tried to help him change. I suffered tremendous abuse at the hands of the man who was meant to love and protect me. I had to make a choice, in the end I had to leave him.
While many will ask why I was not throwing a party, the answer is simple. I loved him as much as I hated him and I wanted him as much as I feared him. Domestic violence had stolen my self worth, my confidence, my everything. It robbed me of my life and the ability to keep my children safe.
While leaving my husband was the best thing I have ever done for myself and my children, it is and will always be the most painful break up I have ever had. Walking away after 11 years is very difficult to do.
I ask you to share: What was the most painful break up you ever had?
Related articles
- Domestic Violence Stole My Kids (therealsupermumblog.com)
- Domestic Violence Survivor Speaks Out : Her kids Saved Her (therealsupermumblog.com)
- The Signs of Domestic Violence (everydayhealth.com)
- Domestic Violence (allaboutcounseling.com)
- Male Victims of Domestic Violence (carolynhennecy.com)
About The Real Supermum
In them last year and half ive had 2 of that with the same man who I met at 17 and fell for hard and to this very day I love him so very much but with it comes pain trial after a trial web never seem to get a break my 3 beautiful children whole I truly belive keep me alive in these moments. After 10 years together 6 months before we were due to gets married he deciedes that he no longer loves me and then I find out hes sleeping with his band member I never felt so much pain spends 6 months in a whirlwind of what I can only describe as manic depression probably a result of spending alot of my life depressed . We got back together and for them last year tried to make it work but I dont belive he was in it for the right reasons and he has recently left to me this is final now a chapter closed but all I see is a brick wall at the moment and all the pain from them last 11 years is very raw and very real xx
I dont know..The last break up I went through was pretty bad to be fair.. I had been with him almost 2 years and he had a daughter with another woman , who I had sorted out access for! Because she had tried making it hard for him to see his daughter so I begged her to let him see her because I knew how much she meant to him… I did everything for him… one weekend i took him back to his hometown and paid for him to have a tattoo of his daughter’s name on his arm… we got back and everything was fine… the next day i found messages on his laptop between him and another girl saying he had feelings for her.. but he told me he hadnt done anything.. even though i showed him the proof..then that night he told me he couldnt be with me anymore because he still loves his ex and he always has done. Broke my heart. But im glad it happened as otherwise i wouldnt of met my OH
My most painful breakup wqs with my ex, after to my 4yeat old.. I had grew up with him I was 16 when we met almost 17, he wqs 21.. I fell preg few months into the relationship n we wqs both over the moon, had a flat n that, then things went downhill he would push me around strangle me etc, but I never wanted to leave cause I loved him so much.. I thought he wqs seeing a girl from work n after another row he told me to get out flat with our daughter or we would be dragged out by our hair :-/ then q week later moved this other bitch in.. The one I said he wqs seeing.. For 9 weeks I did nothing but cry and cry and not eating I lost well over q stone, then I realised I didnt need him started going out more and met my oh here I am now 29+4 preg with beany girl number 2 live together and hopefully will be forever xx
Telling my then partner that I was pregnant, bearing in mind he was the person who made me feel like sex was something I had to do and saying no wasn’t allowed, that was the hardest break up not the fact I was leaving him but the fact that 3 years on I’m still looking over my shoulder x
Sat here thinking what is my hardest break up and instantly think if my LO dad but that break up wasn’t hard at all, sure I was pregnant and didn’t want to be alone but I didn’t love him, cared for him, yes but love, no. It just got hard because we both made it that way (my reaction to his actions)
So I think to my first ex, the boy I lost my virginity to, he planned to cheat on me and he lied to me and so on.. I can’t honestly remember the break up but I remember that I was pregnant and he when I went in, he went and got his new GF little child a present WHILE I was aborting his.
The break up themselves are not hard, it’s the situation and I often wonder why I got myself in them a d the answer is … Because I was a stupid fool x
This one. It’s been just over a year and it doesnt get easier. Not for me anyway. I had to take all the blame from my girls cause Daddy never gave answers. I took all the blame and the hurt from him and took it upon myself. I broke down several times with my girls telling them I tried so very hard to get daddy to stay but he wouldnt because I can not make him happy. Made it worse was that he moved on straight away. Not even had he left the house we shared he had already had someone else. I watched that unfold in front of my eyes through facebook. Before he left I blocked him from my facebook. He had put up a picture of them together. He never did that with us. His excuse was he didnt have a picture of us. He never came out with me to have his picture taken with me!
Anyway, after about 8 months I unblocked him. I found out that he was now listed as in a “relationship” on Facebook with this person. He didnt do that with me either! Why I asked him. I never got a proper answer. The answer he gave hurt me more than him being so publicly proud of her and not me, the mother of the children. She requested it on Facebook and he couldnt say no! I requested several times!
A year and four months later we are getting on and having a laugh better than we did when we were together. I have met her once at his dad’s funeral. I thanked her for coming and walked away from them both before she had a chance to reply. I never ever again want to speak to her. I am going to his sister’s wedding in August and they will be there together. Am I insane, I think I am! Maybe by going it will help me move on, or so I keep telling myself! Dont know if I’m brave or just utterly stupid! Or I could be both! One good thing to come out of this break up is that it gave me the kick up the bum to sort out several amounts of issues I’ve had over the years. I’m a work in process! I hope my girls still dont blame me for the break up. I thought we would be together for ever. It hurts still. One day I hope it wont hurt.
I really do understand where you are coming from huni, I’m pleased for you and the kids that in the end you found happiness and reciprocated love x