The support worker who has been assigned to work with me and my family due to social services becoming involved in my family in regards to my ex husband has been somewhat of a life saver. Easy to talk too, someone who listens and does not judge and is a mountain of knowledge, even if all she can do is tell me I am doing it right, when I feel like I am failing miserably.
My relationship with my 13 year old daughter hit rock bottom, there seemed no coming back from it. I disliked her and she hated me, yes hated me or so she told everyone and anyone who would listen. Over a year and a half I have struggled with the court case, watching time and time again how she was let down by her father and at times emotionally abused by him.
My hands were tied behind my back, court orders were placed in them, forcing me to send the children. I fought and I won for supervised contact under the watchful eye of Social services. It has been a fight, a never ending battle, leaving me some days weak and emotionally exhausted.
To then have to fight with a hormonal, moody teen as well as the other 5 children, it was a living nightmare. When I was offered support from a worker I gladly took it. Yes I felt by accepting this help and admitting I was struggling made me feel a failure, it also taught me a valuable lesson, I am human after all.
After years of fighting, struggling, trying, pleading and feeling that I had let my children down, I now have a sense of freedom. I have admitted I am struggling with my relationship with my teenage daughter and I have asked for help. That is a huge achievement for someone like me. Someone who normally would just keep struggling on.
I feel like a failure, my child hates me. She does not hate me she is angry, she is hormonal and she is pushing the boundaries. But to hear those words are heartbreaking, how else is a mother supposed to feel? I understand the root cause, the reasons and I am trying so hard to remember I am not to blame, yet we always lash out at and hurt those we love most.
I can only remain strong and be truthful and learn that I am not invincible, to accept the pain I feel is normal and to know deep down my daughter does not hate me, she is just trying to find her own realisation of this god damn mess I created for her.
My Own Personal Life Post*
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About The Real Supermum
Thank you for sharing. Thanks for showing that it’s not just me that doesnt and wont ask for help. Thanks for asking for the help and showing us that it is helpful!
Sometimes even the strongest of us has to ask for help, it does not show signs of weakness, it shows we have fought and we continue to fight, but to ease the battle its better to unburden the load that we carry. Everybody needs help, its my fault for not asking or should I say demanding it earlier when I first needed it and not just settling for – just get on with it attitudes.
Help, I need help with my daughter & nobody seems to care, I’ve asked docs & school to no avail, what can I do please x
keep going back to your docs till they help. refuse to leave till they help
Thank you so much for sharing this post with us hunni … I am fighting for supervised contact for my ex, due to his alcohol and drug taking, his mental health and the fact he hasnt seen dylan in about a year, maybe longer. Just hope i get it as i nowhere near trust him alone with my children x x
It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this matter.I’m struggling with my daughter who is all but the same age again due to issues regarding her father although my daughter has chosen not to have anything to do with hers and openly blames me for him being her father .chin up huni we are all here for you xc
i no you said about this before and hope things will improve at home for u all soon, its not a bad thing to ask for help huni xx
Wow I am speechless. I wish I could give you more than a virtual *hug* as it sounds like you need one. I remember being the teenage daughter and causing havoc with my family due to one thing and another. Although the social services weren’t involved we had doctors, therapists and what not. You daughter will love you and hopefully one day understand how hard you have fought for her and for her future. Keep up the good work sweetheart xx
If it’s any consolation; I’m sure almost every one of us has told our mother we hated her – to our shame – but one day this will all behind you both, & you’ll hopefully be the best of friends.
Chin up. There’s people who are rooting for you. X
aww hun big hugs to you. but look how many people can relate to you and you have been there to help them. i really do hope things get sorted and you and your daughter can repair our relationship soon, she will soon understand that you have done everything to protect her and to help her. x x
Emma me and my mum hit rock bottom at about thirteen aswell I said I hated her ect we now have brill relationship. And to ask for help is not a weakness isn’t that what you tell us? Take your own advice and don’t feel like faliure to accept help x
Thank you vdry much for sharing with us
asking and taking the help is not a sign of weakness xx there are many people in the same situation and look at you and follow your footsteps.xx such an insperation x
Hope things have improved xx