I had recently suffered a nervous breakdown, the medication that had given me was strong enough to knock out a horse.
I don’t remember much from those weeks, it is all a fuzzy haze. I was not even sure what my name was most days. My partner at that time had been abusive in the past, but he really had seemed to have changed, I could not fault him, it seemed me becoming ill has scared him and he had realised what he had been doing to me was wrong.
I remember lying on the sofa one evening, he made me a coffee and he went back to doing something on the computer that we had in the living room at the time. I noticed that my sight was blurry when he started spinning round and round in the black leather computer chair. I felt him half lift and half drag me over to that chair, he was naked so was I.
What was happening? My head thudded, my hands were shaking and I had sweat running off my body. Everything went black.
I woke some time later, still naked, still sat huddled in that black leather computer chair. The screen was bright, I saw myself staring back. The webcam was still on. There was a chat screen message that read. “Thanks for a fab show”.
My partner had given me double dose of strong sedation tablets, prescribed for my mental illness with the full intentions of drugging me enough so he could have sex with me in front of another couple online.
Have I ever felt more humiliated? Yes I have but I will save those times for another post.
Emma White The inspiring Bipolar mum of 6 who dedicates her time to supporting others. Providing all the tools to survive motherhood & helping mums stay confident & become all the things they truly deserve to be.