Credit
Even as young children, we tend to give some fantastical thought as to when we’ll have kids of our own. I think most of us like to think we’ll be really young mothers, and think that we’ll probably have a baby when we’re about 20.
But as we hit our twenties, it becomes apparent that this is almost impossible, unless we have a partner that earns a lot of money to support you while you’re out of work. It’s also incredibly difficult to get back into work once you’ve taken time off to look after a baby. This can affect you in two ways – when you’ve finished your maternity leave, there is a strong likelihood that you will have adjusted to life at home that working just doesn’t suit you any more.
It can be really hard work to get back into the swing of life at the office, and also the costs for childcare can be very steep. The other bad way it can affect you is that if you do decide to go back to work, say 4 years later when your child is in school, employers can be reluctant to employ you because it can give the impression that you don’t care for your career and won’t take the job very seriously, or that you’re just desperate to take any job. Of course, this won’t be the case everywhere, but it is something to bear in mind, should you ever decide to take a long break from working to raise your child.
It’s a sad thing that more and more women are deciding to delay having a child so that it won’t get in the way of their careers. If you’re really happy at work, then that’s fair enough. But for women who are unhappy at work and feel they have to sacrifice a family home life for their work, it must be very frustrating. Also, the longer you leave it, the greater the chance that your baby will be not as healthy – the risk of Down’s Syndrome increases quickly as you go past the age of 35.
This is because we are actually born with all the eggs we need which get depleted one by one once we start our periods. The last few years worth of eggs are less like to be completely healthy, so it’s usually best to have a child before the age of 35, and preferably before 30. You should also review the impact that being an older parent has on your child. Think about how old you will actually be by the time your child is 18, and how much less time you may potentially get to spend with your offspring. A young person neither have to deal with others taking the mickey about your being an older parent, or have to deal with the grief of your passing, so think this through before deciding to delay childbirth until later in life.
Baby Nest retails baby equipment and pushchairs such as Quinny pushchairs
About The Real Supermum
This is so true. I often hear alot of women sayin that they are waiting due to there job but you can see that some do crave the family life. I agree with this post and hopes it opens some eyes and makes them realise that the longer you leave it the harder it gets x
This story is so true. Just wish people would take into account being in a stable relationship is the 1st thing to consider too xx
i agree in some ways as u want to see your child grow up and spend as long as u can with them. but my mom was in her 40′s when she had me and is still here now iv had a brilliant upbringing, my dads older too but still there able to do stuff run about with the kids etc.. my cousin also had her baby at 35 she travelled the world built up her life then had a baby shes got her own house etc and financially prepared for the future.. but then i had my daughter at 17 didnt have a penny to my name yet shes fine shes looked after well, gets what ever she needs/wants..x
I am an older mum I had my daughter 3 weeks before I turned 36. I can see both sides of the argument. The reason I had a child late in life in purely down to circumstances. I originally planned to have children around the age of 30 but instead I went through a divorce. It then tookw me a few years I find the right partner and build a stable relationship before I felt ready to have a baby. I do worry about when I am 50 and my daughter will just be becoming a teenager but I also have a stable financial background and know that should anything happen to me, my daughter is well looked after financially. I don’t think there is any perfect time to have a baby as unfortunately life does not always go the way we plan it to x
I am an older mum. I didn’t have my first child till 30. I lost a baby at 21, was trying for a baby for 3 years with an ex who I married but didn’t fall pregnant till I was with my pertner, so I didn’t put off having children, nature just didn’t allow it till I was older. Xx
I really don’t think most people choose to be an older mum. It’s down to money. I was mortgaged at 19, married at 21 and first child at 26, as that is how long it took us to become financial stable. I went back to work easily, as I, like most people I know returned to existing job, albeit on altered hours. I am now in my 30′s I would love another child, it’s money that is in the way.
Unless you are very lucky to have good jobs at a young age, or happy to be a sahm on benefits then financial security is the major factor. Yes I could be a sahm and take benefits as my husbands wage is poor, but what example would that set my child??
I am a SAHM and I feel I am a very positive role model to my children, I do not sit on my lazy ass collecting my benefits weekly, I can guarantee my job as a SAHM is harder than your 9-5 job. Not all SAHM on benefits are lazy sods and there are MANY reasons why we are on benefits, not because we choose NOT to work but because we CANT
im on benefits due to OH losing job, I have a 2 year old and a 9 day old. I am 31 years old had our son when I was 29.
We live in a private rented flat our son is well advanced for his age and both children are happy, well looked after, well loved and want for nothing.
Me and our OH are happy. Yes OH is looking for a job like many others.
What example does that set for our kids? that life isn’t easy, nothing is just handed to you on a plate and sometimes you have to accept help even though its not the easy option.!!
There is no shame in being on benefits. I worked from aged 18 up until I was 28 and just fell pregnant. I have paid taxes into this country and am damn well entitled to a bit of help when I need it and times are hard.
Their isn’t a right or wrong time to have a baby… Baby needs bare essentials and love before many other things… Money isn’t the b all and end all… I was a youngish mum at 18 (pregnant at 17) I’m now 27 with 6 children. My oh works to support us and I’m a stay at home mum.. But working or benefits… As long as you supporting your child/children it don’t matter.
whats the point in waiting to be married, house, good job etc…. one it may never happen, and two you may have it all, then have your children, then circumstances change, loose job or a devorice or what ever, youd of wasted all those years waitig to have something youve wanted all along. I am 23 with 2 children, when i got preg with my 1st we were both in full time jobs, doing ok for our selfs. then we moved away, as OH got a new job, and to be near my parents, but he lost his job, and i couldnt find one. we wanted another child, and knew even tho we were in and out of temperay jobs, we would be finaically ok by having one, so we did. you can work all hours to have a good income – but i dont see the point, you dont get to see your kids growing up, and u have no family time to spend that hard earnt money.
the right time to have a baby is when you are pregnant and happy about it. You make things work if you want it to, im SAHM on benefits due to being made redundant and then finding myself pregnant (contraception failure) before i was able to find another job that would take me on whilst allowing me to be the parent i wanted to be. I think im a great role model as i take care of my responsibilities , my children are happy,clean,fed and intelligent, personally i think thats best outcome
My mum was a SAHM on benefits and she was a fantastic role model for me as she couldn’t work due to a dibilitating illness however she showed me with hard work and determination you can achieve anything. At one time I was also a SAHM on benefits as my grandfather was dying of cancer and needed a carer, I also cared for my nan aswell as my mum as her health was deterioating. I hope the role model I set for my children at this time was that family comes first, money and materialistic things take a back seat as you only get one family so cherish them and do everything you can to help them!! X
Its such a difficult one the right time to have a baby. I was quite fortunate to be able to have my first in my mid twenties but i know not everyone has this choice. I was studying and working full time at the time and had to stop its not a decision i regret though:)
I don’t think you will ever be able to say you have everything perfect and ready for a baby and there will never be a ‘right time’ as although at that second you think it’s right something will always pop up to ruin it. So the right time is when you feel you want one simple. It bugs me people say SAHM just want to sit on their arses. It’s how it has been for generations. Hundreds of years ago women look after the babies and keep the home. Men go out to work. Simples xx
i dont think is ever a right time to have a baby. theres alot of things to take into condiseration if u try and get it spot on. i was a mum at 21 and i think being older may have made me a more patient mum but i love that i have the energy that say some older mums may not. my mum had me 30 and i can honestly say she didnt have time for me. she worked to make ends meet and my sister was the one who spent the most time with me x
I had my 1st at 18 and now pregnant with my 2nd at 21. Love being a young mummy. And love the fact as my kids grow up ill still be young enough to do things with them and play:)
Age before 30 is really the best age to conceive. Studies say women’s health at that age is at its best for bearing a child. I took a break from my career to take care of my first born. And now having the dilemma when to go back to work, as I want to have an income together with my husband, so that we could give the best support we could possibly give to our child.
if i’m 100% truthful i never wanted kids until i found out i was pregenet. i think the right time is different for every woman and find out it’s the right time is different too
Personally there is never any right time too have a baby x