Can you imagine your partner asking you to try smoking during sex? There are some strange fetishes out there but have you ever come across fetish smoking? This mum did and today she shares her story
An Inspirational Fetish Smoking Experience, Smoking During Sex;
I met him when I was 17, I was just out of school and he was my second ‘serious’ boyfriend.
We met at work, my first job, he was two years old er than me and I was flattered that he would chat to me during our shifts. He was tall and good looking but shy and quiet. It took a few weeks but one night after work we went for a drink and from there we had a relationship that lasted just over a year. To everyone we seemed like a lovely couple. And the truth is, I fell in love with him pretty quickly. We spent a lot of time together and we found that we had very similar childhoods and upbringings.
Four months into the relationship he sat me down, ‘I have something I need to talk to you about’ he said. My heart beat faster, I thought it was all over. But it wasn’t a breakup, it was an admission. He had a secret, he told me he trusted me with it, that he had never trusted anyone before. I was naive at 17. I hadn’t had much experience, only having had one other three year relationship since I was 13. I was relieved that he wasn’t about to end our relationship and hugely flattered that he trusted me.
So I said he could tell me anything. He fished around in the pocket of his jeans and then held his closed fist out to me. I reached out and took what he was offering. A packet of cigarettes . ‘You smoke? Ok, I don’t mind that. Why would you keep that a secret?’ I asked.
‘No, I don’t smoke, they’re for you” he told me.
I had never had a cigarette in my life. In fact growing up with parents that smoked I was actually pretty anti-smoking and the smell of cigarette smoke made me feel sick. But it turned out that this boy had a fetish, not any fetish but fetish smoking. Smoking turned him, the smell of cigarette smoke turned him on and he wanted me to start smoking during sex. If I wouldn’t smoke ‘for him’ then we couldn’t be together.
So here I was faced with a rather strange dilemma, I had fallen for this guy and I didn’t want to loose him. Would smoking during sex be all that bad? Maybe fetish smoking and the smell of cigarette smoke was not as bad as I thought?
I feel so, so stupid for what I did next, I didn’t walk away, I lit a cigarette up and I watched his eyes become excited as the cigarette smoke filled the air. My self confidence was so low and I was desperate for him to want me, I was willing to do anything.
We stayed together for another six months. In my naivety I thought that I could just have one or two cigarettes when I was with him and that I would never get hooked. But as soon as I lit that cigarette he changed. He wasn’t happy unless I was smoking. He would tell me to light another almost as soon as I had put one out. He got all the more annoyed and we could only be intimate if I was smoking during sex.
I never told anyone because I felt stupid and because I loved him. But after six months I walked away. Only as well as a broken heart I was left as a 20 a day smoker. A habit even ten years later that I am struggling to break. Some say I was weak, some that I was wrong, some that I was pressured and manipulated. I don’t know what I was. I just know I am still a smoker and I wish that I had never started.
This post is an inspirational post and you can read more inspiring stories on the blog today.