I Changed My Mind About Having Abortion

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Having an abortion is not for everyone and not everyone has ever been in this situation. What would you do if you were? Can you even imagine? With the abortion debate out there is it any wonder termination talk is so taboo?

I Changed My Mind About Having Abortion

The words come out off the nurses mouth “Your pregnant”. My heart sinks, my eyes start watering and I’m staring into space. The nurse assumes I want a termination. “I guess you want to book in for an abortion”?. I nodded my head, I left the room and broke down into tears to my friend waiting out side, I had to go back to school for the day and it was just all a blur, I couldn’t believe it. I was 15, far to young to even be thinking about being a mum. After school I collected all the info about my abortion and it still hadn’t sunk it yet.

A few days later I begged and pleaded with my friends, asking if they’d come with me to the clinic so I could carry out the termination, they all said no. They all made their feelings clear on the abortion debate. I was left on my own. The day had arrived for me to go, I woke up and set off to the train station.

I remember it like it was yesterday, I had spilled pop all down my mums white hooded top, I ran to the toilets and started scrubbing at it, again I broke down into tears. I got on the train and put my headphones in blocking out the world, I didn’t know what to expect. I had no friends who had been though a termination, I was alone.

I got off the train and walked up the road to the clinic that would perform the termination of my baby, I got there and had to have a scan to date how far I was. I was 16 weeks, I waited till I was called in for my bloods taken and then I got asked reasons why I didn’t want to keep my child. I explained “I’m to young, I couldn’t cope” . Then she booked me in for a bed as she called it, she told me I’d have to give birth to it. I looked in horror she said “I bet you wish you were not so far gone” and chuckled like it was a joke!?

I went home and hid all the papers in my draw. The week passed and the day dawned for me to go back. I couldn’t do it. My friends had made their opinions clear, the abortion debate of is it killing a defenseless baby true? thoughts raged in my head.

I couldn’t give birth to a baby dead .

So I didn’t, I carried on as if I wasn’t pregnant, it got to 7 months and people started noticing. I got called to the councilor at the schools office, she asked if I was pregnant. I said “no” she knew I was. Later that night my mum got a call, I ran to my boyfriends to get away. I went home later on and she said it was all going to be OK . I was so relieved.

And now 5 years on I couldn’t imagine my life without my little princess she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I’m glad I didn’t have an abortion .

Now when I read an opinion on the abortion debate I wonder how many of those have ever been in that situation? I ask the next time you come across an abortion debate you stop and think before you write. 

This post is an anonymous confession – would you like to share your own?

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