Domestic violence and emotional abuse often come together. An abuser will emotionally abuse his victim as a form of control. The emotional abuse can sometimes be harder to recognise as the victim slowly looses confidence and self belief.
A mum shares her domestic violence story with you:
I was sixteen years old when I met who I thought was the man of dreams. I was lonely and in desperate need of love, I had been living in a hostel due to disagreements at home. I fell in love overnight and before I knew it I became pregnant with his child.
I did not believe what he was doing to me was emotional abuse, I believed he loved me and did these things to protect me, it was him I needed protection from. I was twenty weeks pregnant when he first raised his fists and hit me.
He was sorry, he promised never to do it again. I should have left him but I stayed. I wanted to believe he would change, that once our daughter was born the domestic violence would stop.
I was wrong.
He was not with me when our daughter entered the world, he choose to take drugs with his friends. The happy ending I wished for never happened, nothing changed. The emotional abuse continued. The verbal abuse became a daily occurrence and the beatings worsened. I hid the bruises, I painted a smile and I did the best I could for my new baby. In truth I was afraid to leave.
2009 saw the birth of our son, again I gave birth alone as he was serving time in prison for assault. The verbal abuse over the years had stripped me of confidence, when each day you are faced with nothing but emotional abuse you begin to believe what he tells you. He was released from prison and he returned home.
My son was 10 months old when he and his sister were taken into care. I had lost my children as I was too afraid to leave my abuser. I crumbled, I tried taking my own life, I began self harming as a way to cope. The scars remain today, so does the pain of loosing my children to domestic violence.
When I was back on my feet and free of him I fought with every bone in my body to get my children back, it was too late.
I receive a letter each year, photographs help me remember their faces. My children should be here with me, their mother.
It took me a long time to finally admit I was pregnant again in 2008, terrified they too would take the new baby. I won the right to keep my baby, who is now three years old. Nothing will heal the pain and daily torment of loosing my children and I pray one day they will forgive me for not being stronger.
This post was written by anonymously by a mum in the hope of helping other victims of domestic violence or emotional abuse. Please take the time to offer your support and share your views.
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