My first experience of violent behaviour was when I was growing up, I remember telling my neighbours, I was about 8 or so, that my dad had beaten my mum up the night before and not thought anything of it. I could tell by my dads face that I was in for it later but didnt really know why. It wasnt unitl many years later that it dawned on me that it was wrong and not every man hits his wife. I suppose you could say I was predisposed to finding a violent man for myself, not that I saw it that way at the time.
At 17 I got into a relationship with a 28 year old man. I was very naive at that age and fell into a trap very quickly. In the early stages of our relationship I had an accident ( another blogs worth ) where I shattered my right ankle, my parents werent very good at parenting in many different ways but especially at this time of my life. I was in hospital for 3 months due to the nature of my accident and complications. My parents had decided as I no longer worked they didn’t want me home anymore and despite them having family insurance and receiving £1500 for being in hospital I had nothing, not even a pair of knickers to my name.
So my only option was to move in with him. Things escalated dramatically from him flipping from one moment to the next, the beatings, the psychological damage and the lack of support from my family. He had messed me up really bad and had taken me to where my mum lived, my nose was across my face and my clothes were bloody and ripped and she literally turned her back on me and walked off. He then said to me, see even your mother doest want you. The one time I needed my mum to hold her hands out to me and she turned her back ( bearing in mind I had my ankle in a cast and was on crutches ).
The violence got worse after this, it got to a point where tears didn’t fall from my eyes anymore and I was almost looking down on myself watching what was happening. The beatings were bad but the things he said were much worse. Like I said I was very niave, he said to me one day out of the blue, choose out of your little sisters and if you don’t ill kill them both. I believed everything he said at the time I will have to live with what was said for the rest of my life.
He’d chained me to the radiator and told me he was going to kill my mum, these were only a few of many thousands of things that he put me through. I came through it after disappearing when he got sent to prison. I moved onto another violent relationship and had my first child, she was 2 before I realised that things couldn’t continue like this and I refused to be like my parents, it was difficult but I left him for the sake of my child. I haven’t looked back since for the benefit of my daughter.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
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About The Real Supermum
You poor soul and well done for breaking the cycle. Men like these should Rot in prison.
I did a social sciences course at uni and the nature of violence was something we looked into in quite a depth, I don’t think that violence breeds violence but that seeing domestic violence can impact deeply and can predispose a person to believing that’s the norm, there have been many tests where a child has been shown violent scenes and another calm scenes then they have been in a room and something gets tipped over, those with the violent scenes 9/10 wouldn’t help but the others usually did so I think it does impact and cause us to act differently, I hope u have managed to move on and are free from the violence from now on
what a horrible man! glad your out from it, good luck with the future…
Aw hun, You`re a very strong and brave woman to come out of that and then to talk about it… I hope things are now looking up for you and your child/ren big hugs
x
When I read a story like this it makes me realize that when I moan about everyday life I should take a step back and remember there are people who are going through a hell of a lot more than my silly problem. Stay strong xx
I truly feel for you ! But very well done for not allowing it to continue any longer. Men that do things like this dont deserve the oxygen they breathe x
What an inspirational story, I’m so glad you got away from that cruel animal. He should rot in prison for the rest of his life. You should be so proud of yourself for coming through it all for you and your daughter x
Oh hun thats awful. Glad u found the courage to get away from it all. N that everythin gets better. Big hugs. xx
Aww hunni, firstly well done for walking away from both partners and secondly your mum doesn’t deserve a daughter and doesn’t deserve to be called mum!!!! Massive hugs to you xxx
Well done hun, you have been so strong and have done the best thing for you and your daughter. You stay strong hun xx
So glad your free now hun. Men like that need to be lined up and shot. I don’t know how any mother can see their child like that and not help
Well done for getting away from it, stay strong x
So sorry for what you were put through hun, I am so glad you managed to escape! I hope that the future holds nothing but happiness for you & your little girl! Well done for being so brave xx
what a truley aweful man… im glad your away fro it all now hun. wishing you all the best for your future x x
I’m sorry for what you were put through, well done for getting through it and away from it. xx
So sorry for what you had to go through
, well done for breaking the cycle and being a fantastic mummy to your daughter xxx
I am always shocked and disheartened when I read about domestic violence cases. I can never believe that there are such horrible people around, and so many of them! Well done you for breaking the cycle, now hopefully your daughter wont carry it on like you did for a while. You are a credit to her xx
omg hun.. im so sorry to hear what happend to u thats awful… sorry but ur mum sounds awful… well done for getting out sweets xxx
aww hun what you went through was awful well done for getting out hun your daughter will be so proud of you for getting you both out of the 2nd relationship xxx
well done for getting out honey. It is amazing how much strength our children give us.. xxx
Well done for getting out, Im sorry about your mother she may have been going through the same thing all my love xxx
Omg so sad to hear what you hav been through:) so glad you managed to get away for the sake of your baby well done az must if been so hard bless ya! xxx big hugs xxx