The signs of child abuse are all around us, and often we as adults just overlook the obvious signs. It is a moral responsibility for every adult to protect the children in their lives from child abuse. If you suspect there might be an abused child in your life, then step in and do something! Learn more about how you can help stop child abuse!
Let’s face it, child abuse is a real problem in our society, and it is a worldwide problem. There are many organizations out there trying to stop child abuse. One of the best ways to stop child abuse is to prevent it from starting in the first place. This is the responsibility of all adults, not only the family members of the child. If an adult suspects child abuse or notices signs of child abuse, then it is his or her moral responsibility to try to stop it.
Some people think that it is the job of child protection services to stop child abuse. It is wrong to wait for child services to intervene. The problem is that usually social services will not step in until the problem becomes serious. At this point, permanent damage to the heart and mind of the child has already occurred. It is important that friends, teachers, neighbors, coaches, or any one else that notices child abuse steps up and takes a role in trying to stop the abuse.
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The best way to stop child abuse is to be aware of what is going on around you with the children in your life. Listen to what they say. Watch for signs of child abuse. The most common form of abuse is emotional abuse. If you see a parent emotionally abusing their child, do something! This is wrong! It is not proper parenting to belittle a child. Keep in mind that a child is most of the time abused by their parent or a caregiver. Since they love this person, and are often afraid of them, they might not be willing to talk about the problem. You will have to look past what the child is saying to see the real problem.
Signs of physical abuse include unexplained bruises or cuts, repeated “accidents” such as falling down the stairs that leave marks, and frequent absences from school for no apparent reason. If you suspect these types of problems, get help for the family right away! Children should not be allowed to stay in an abusive situation. This is the best thing that you can do to stop child abuse—get involved!
Another thing to keep in mind about child abuse is that the children who are being abused are scared. They are scared of their abuser and scared that if they tell, the abuse will get worse. Often, they will not ask for help because they do not think anyone can help them. They may have tried to get help from their non-abusive parent, only to find that it did nothing. They are not able to trust the adults in their lives, because they associated adults with pain. So do not be surprised if they reject your attempts to help stop child abuse. Even if they reject your help, you need to step in and help!
Also, keep in mind that children who are abused do not always come from low-income homes where the family seems that they would have problems. Many middle and upper class children face abuse on a daily basis. It is often masked well because to the outside world, they look like the perfect Christian family. This is particularly true in the case of sexual abuse. Do not assume that a child is fine just because their family looks like they have it all together. If you suspect abuse, step in and find out for sure!
Parents of abused kids
If you are a parent who has discovered that your child has been abused you will be experiencing many different emotions – shock, anger, hatred, guilt, numbness, disbelief, confusion.
If your partner was the person who abused your child you will also be trying to come to terms with the fact that someone you lived with and loved and thought you knew and trusted has done something so damaging and horrific that there was a side to this person that you knew nothing about.
You may have feelings of guilt that you did not know your child was being abused and were not there to protect him/her. However,
© Ocean/Corbis
people who abuse children are cunning, devious, manipulative, and skilful at hiding their tracks and covering up what they are doing – you cannot blame yourself for being taken in by an abuser.
It will not help going over the past and blaming yourself – your child will need you to help them to feel safe, loved, secure, and for you to be strong for them to help them in their recovery and healing. It is important at this time to also get some support for yourself and someone who you can talk to about the feelings you have inside you. Make sure that your child has someone to talk to and help them to work through what has happened but keep doing things together you enjoy and try not to allow the abuse to dominate your lives.
This post was written by Chris Wittwer, find out all about the fantastic work Chris does to name and shame the paedophiles by reading a post I dedicated to him – Raising Awareness Of Child Abuse, will you read or walk away?
About The Real Supermum
NEVER BE AFRAID TO ”WASTE THE TIME OF THE POLICE/SOCIAL SERVICES” IF YOU ARE CONCERNED- THEY WOULD RATHER INVESTIGATE AND FIND NO PROBLEMS, THAN INVESTIGATE LATER AFTER A TRAGEDY HAS ALREADY OCCURED THAT COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED
I work in childcare, and I have spent a long time training and learning about child abuse, and how to react if you suspect abuse. Whilst I agree that we should all keep our eyes and ears open to signs of possible abuse, there can also be just as much damage caused to children and families by wrongful accusations. If you suspect something, make notes of dates and times and what you saw or heard. Speak to someone in a position of authority with the ability to look for further evidence, like a teacher, nursery leader. These people are trained to know what to look for, and they have a voice that Social Care (no longer called Social services) will listen to and act on. Wading in yourself could save a life, but if your suspicions are wrong it could also ruin several – you need to think about that too.. It may be that your suspicions are right, but by wading in without gathering enough of the right type of evidence, it could mean that Social care cannot do enough, and by alerting an abuser , it mean far worse repercussions to the child being abused, especially if the abuser believes that the child has spoken out – do you really want to be right about abuse but not have enough evidence to be able to get a child to a safe place???
No-one wants to see a child being abused, but the bull in a china shop routine could take lives rather than save them – keep that in mind!
Im always terrified that somebody will think something is happening to my daughter as she always has a bruise somewhere, but she is a very active toddler and is forever falling over and bumping into things.
My son used 2 fall over and bump in 2 thngs all the time..i think u can tell the difference in a bruise from a fall and a diff bruise by how the child is behaving but u should ALWAYS step in and do smething even if it turns out to be wrong in the end x
If you suspect abuse report it, worst case scenario is you are wrong and social services would have done a prelim investigation. If you don’t report it then you have to live with the guilt if it does turn out to be abuse and you did nothing.
My son decided to header the metal framed headboard on my bed a few months back and I had social services out because someone reported the second head (the bump on his forehead – it was that big). I never went to the hospital at the time, just put a cold compress on and checked for signs of concusion. Social services were with me for 10minutes. I would rather that than someone down the street wondering and giving accusing looks whilst forming their own misguided opinions.
I was threatened with ss once, I had a facebook message from one of my exs friends saying it is about time ss took Lilly of me and gave her to her dad (this friend had never seen my daughter) it makes me mad cause its people like her that puts the children who really need ss help at more risk. I was abused as a child and as soon as I got up the courage to tell my mum, she believed me immediately although when we told my nan she called me a liar and although he admitted it and there was forensic evidence she still calls me a liar to this day. That hurt me alot more than the abuse itself. Please if anyone knows of a child in danger you gotta help, save them from a lifetime of pain xx
I must admit if my kids have a bruise I do feel paranoid especially as my son had a fall and wacked his head and had a bruise and black eye, was awful but its a one off. I have witnessed abuse when I worked in a nursery and also personally as a child, so am very aware with other kids and I just want to protect them all. No child shud live in fear and I feel sick to think i thappens
i went on a training course a few months back that trained us in child protection there are so many signs some of which are very obvious some of which arent.if ever you suspect a child is being abused you have a duty as an adult to report that and not just let it go !!
And dont forget children are impressionable so if ever yo think it is happening dont approach the child without back up and do not put words into the childs mouth.
unfortunatly some times its so well hidden that its hard to spot, but if you was to supsepect anything always go with ur gut feeling and follow it thru, if your proven wrong then great, but if your not then its also good news as the child invovled can get the help n suport needed.
very informative i have first hand dealt with abuse both as a sufferer and a witness, my step children have been abused i believe but ss will not listen xxx