Self Harmed After Being Raped

8400164 woman in white cutting self with knife self injury cutter Self Harmed After Being Raped

Self Harmed After Being Raped

I was a quiet child, never had any confidence was always pushed out by everyone else, all because I might not had the best things or couldn’t do my school work properly because I was dyslexic.

When I started the army cadet at the age of 12 I suddenly had a injection of confidence feeling,  I had a calling that I was good at something.  I came out as a lesbein without any fear of what anyone would say. After the first year I was ready to go on the annual camp which was for 2 weeks.  I had never been so excited, I couldnt wait for it to arrive and when the day came I got on the bus and met loads of new friends, I had never felt better.

Then a week later my world came crashing down.  I was raped by the very person I trusted the most, my sargent major.  He was from anouther batalon but all the same,  someone I trusted and in the space of one night that uniform that gave me so much confidece made me hate myself.  I became depressed but at the same time said nothing because lets face it who would believe a 13year old to a 40 year old x vetran.
 I thought to give him the 2s up I carried on my duties,  I stayed in the cadets,  its the only place I knew happiness.  I  thought not much would change things, but it just got worse and I started to self harm. Thinking it was all my fault a close family member noticed the selfharming and asked questions.
I told her  everything and well I shouldn’t have, I got made out of a liar, I was yet again nothing,  I ran away from home moving away from family. I was still harming all the way,  then at 14 I was raped again and my world got worse a friend betrayed me and my experience from the past told me say nothing dont do anything.  I said nothing I tried to kill myself, it didnt work my dad rushed me to hospital.
I started drinking hard to wash the pain away at the age of 16, I got a job started to slowly pick up and a year one I felt a bit better with the help of pills I was getting there.  Until my 17th birthday and my life felt like it ended,  a work coleuge took me out for a few drinks  she invited her boyfriend,  I wasnt happy about it but he seemed ok.
Till the end of the night when he said he was going to walk me to the taxi rank and instead draged me down a lane batterd me and raped me and left me. I went home and tried taking my life,  for the next year I was stuck in a black cloud doing nothing saying nothing not being heard,  till I met a women who I didnt know at the time but I would marry and have kids with.  Then I didnt think she would like me so we were friend for a while,  I  had feelings for her from the moment I saw her,  I had  known her for a long time.
If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be here today.  I would have succeeded in killing my self and wouldnt know what love realy was.  I need every one to know know matter what life throughs at you not matter howmany evil people you come across and no matter what they do try and hold on you will find someone or something that will help pull you though.
Look at me now, I am married never been happier and making a life for myself.  I stil have the scare but I don’t regret,  I wrot a poem that reminds me what I have gone through with some help and I  never felt prouder in myself I hope this help anyone going thought anything similar to me.

This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post or inspirational stories  please contact me.

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 Self Harmed After Being Raped

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About The Real Supermum

Emma White The inspiring Bipolar mum of 6 who dedicates her time to supporting others. Providing all the tools to survive motherhood & helping mums stay confident & become all the things they truly deserve to be.

Comments

  1. Sarah Jones says:

    omg, you poor woman, youve been through so much … you are incredibly brave and strong.. glad you have found happiness :) best of luck for the futre.. xx

  2. Wow hun, my thoughts go out to you. I’m so glad that this story has a happy ending for you, and that you found someone who makes you feel as special as you deserve to feel. You are brave, and even thoguh you had low points you have come out of them the other side. I hope you and your partner have many happy years together :)

  3. you poor woman, that must of been awful but it has made you strong today. huge hugs x

  4. Jessica Markham says:

    Your are so brave. its good that you found someone that makes you happy and who is there for you no matter what … Wish you the best for the future x x

  5. becky tuffs says:

    So glad you found happiness.. Ino how it feels to be pushed out and not wanted.. If you ever need a chat I’m always around with an ear xx

  6. donna philpott says:

    aww you poor hun! going through all of that…you are so brave! im so glad you have found love and can finally be happy..so pleased for you xx

  7. big big hugs hunni i no exactly what you have been through “/ !! although i have an idea who it is xxxxxxx glad you found happiness

  8. Wow soo sad :( but u are sooo strong! That’s proof there is light at the end of every tunnel! Wish u all the happiness in the future xx

  9. Natalie s says:

    Omg you poor thing :( hopefully they will all get what they deserve. I’m glad you are happy now and I wish you all the best x

  10. omgosh, you hear the stories about it happening once and you think thats bad enough but three times! my heart goes out to you hun, youve bin really unlucky and had it rough but on the plus side, you have your happy ending and someone who will love and appreciate you and your body, so glad your away from all that now, i can see why so many women dont trust men :( x

  11. Becky Hallows says:

    You are so strong and brave! I’m glad you found the happiness you deserve, much love to you x

  12. What an amazing person you are!! To go through all that and come out better on the other side shows how truly amazing and strong you are! good luck to you and your family for the future! xx

  13. hun… i am so proud of u!!! i was raped 3 times a day min… from the age of 9 by my “dad”. i know how hard it is to come forword!
    i just want you to know u are doing so well… to me the first step is telling some 1 else…
    u did this and got knocked back…
    and still u are here stronger than ever and able to talk about it and show ppl that there is light at the end…
    i beleave that this blog will show ppl not to give up and give them the strenth to speak out about there story!!!
    i wish u all the luck in the future
    stay strong!!!
    much love from krystina!!!

  14. inspiring women! glad she is finally happy good luck for the future

  15. Emma Wallis says:

    You’re a very strong lady to go through all this and come out stronger in the end. I hope life is treating you alot better xx

  16. Thank you so much for sharing such an incredible story. The pain you have been through is something I can’t even begin to imagine but I can see through your writing that you are such a brave woman. I am so happy that you have been able to find your true love and what seems to be a kinda of peace and acceptance within your own self. I can only hope that my own daughters are able to become strong woman such as yourself.

  17. Amy Whyley says:

    This story is so similar to my own, I hope writing this gave you peace and took a great weight off your shoulders. Your so brave for speaking out, much love xx

    • Tanita Dighton says:

      i noticed these two are very simular and im so proud of yu btoh for speaking out and being so brave and im glad yu both have found happiness x x

  18. such a strong and brave women! glad you’ve fount happiness. all the best for the future xxxx

  19. Fee Macdonald says:

    Stay strong sweetheart. All my love goes to you. x

  20. reannesmom says:

    your so brave hun, i cannot imagine what you have been through, thank you for sharing hope your story allowes people to speak out too.. glad you are happy now al the best for the future xx <3

  21. this is awful, somone you look up to betrays you most… stay storong hunni x x

  22. Stay strong honey, well done for speaking up.
    Hope this helps many others x

  23. lisa williams says:

    i av been where u are hunni and ur so brave to speak out i wish i did sooner self harm is not the way though and its easy for me to say that but ur bigger than that and u can do this hugs to u hunni xx

  24. Kate Foley says:

    Well done for speaking out x

  25. tina smith says:

    well done for everyone that speaks up it helps someone else to speak up so brave bless you hun hugs go out to you xx

  26. Oh sweet, I really feel for you you have been through so much, huge hugs xx

  27. kerry-charmaine thornton says:

    My heart goes out to this women, :( shed a few tears reading this, so proud that she’s managed to deal with this though and good luck to the future hope u n ur partner have many happy years together xx

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