They say MIL’s are evil but mine truly is. I met her back in 06 after me and my now husband met and eventually got caught out, as we met online. Maybe it’s because I took her only son away, maybe it’s because she was jealous, maybe it’s because I saw her son right when she couldn’t or maybe it’s because at our first meeting me and Phil were cuddled up in bed? I don’t know but what I do know is that she’s evil and becomes more evil with each passing day…. When I first met Phil he was in a shell, he seemed to be scared of the birds and the bees; literally. And no,I don’t mean sex lol. What I didn’t know at the time was that it was because of his evil, vindictive mother.
Phil’s mum was ok when I first met her, always asked how I was even if secretly wishing I’d run off with a younger, nicer looking man as she told Phil I would constantly. It was when Phil moved to Wigan from Yorkshire to be with me the problems realy started, or so I thought. She helped us move in now trouble but she was constantly muttering things under her breathe. “That’ll have to go, that won’t go there, out this here and that there,” I told her it was our house and we’d put things where we wanted to and get rid of things if we wanted to, maybe that’s why she didn’t take a shine to me; I don’t know and if I’m honest really don’t care. The fact was she didn’t like me and wanted me out of her sons life, even if she didn’t give a damn about him. She was always very judgemental of everything from the way we cooked to the way we had decorated our house and it seemed only because we hadn’t consulted her first and she despised it because we didn’t need her, just each other.
It was only a few months after moving in together that I took the test, positive. We were over the moon and were so excited. Well, they do say new house; new baby. Don’t they? We told everybody straight away and they were all overjoyed for us apart from the MIL that is. She was disappointed that we hadn’t listened to her advice and waited for 12months before falling pregnant. Why should we? It was our choice nobody else’s! She didn’t congratulate, all she did was moan and frown when my bump got bigger., she had also told Phil to work extra so that he could pay for an abortion. I tried to include her with my appointments and scans and told her how bump was measuring and how fast the heart was beating but was she interested? Was she hell, all she would reply with would be, “OK!” I was fuming and unhappy but still I kept her in the know to her disapproval. We told her we were expecting a girl and she was still peed off. To this day I still believe it was because she wanted a daughter, not a son. I didn’t care as long as my baby was healthy. We than announced we were to be married in January 08 and again she was disappointed and instead of being happy she moaned and said, “you should have got married before you got in the predicament you’re in,” meaning about our baby growing inside of me. We went ahead with the wedding whether she liked it or not. On the day she set out to ruin it, moaning about the food, the choice of music, my choice of dress (red and flouncy as I was now nearly 5 months,) our choice of venue (registry) and finally the pub we had our reception in. It seemed no matter how hard you tried to please the cow, she never would put a smile on her face. It seemed she only knew how to scowl when she was around us. When our first daughter arrived at 35 weeks due to me being ill, she couldn’t have cared less. She wasn’t bothered that me our her first grandchild could have died she was just bothered about coming to take pictures and show everybody like she was hers; the daughter she always wanted. I was too ill to care. She was the first person to feed our daughter other than midwives and I was devastated, I still am to this day as she truly didn’t have a care in the world.
Skipping around a year we decide we would like another and after a month of trying and a month of waiting I take a test and it’s positive again. We’re pleased but decide to tell everybody after the 12 week scan. Again, everybody is pleased apart from MIL and she states, “why didn’t you just wait until Jayne was in school like I told you too?” Phil’s reply was because “I’m a grown man and wanted to be a father for the second time.” She didn’t like it and left. I covered my bump at the remark as if covering it’s ears because I knew it could hear every word and I didn’t want it coming out feeling unwanted, I know it’s strange but at the time I feared it’s emotional state. Wouldn’t any mother? I kept her up to date with the midwives appointments as I did with our first child and again she wasn’t fussed. I was due to be induced at 39weeks (17th March 10) and we told her about that and when our second daughter arrived later that day. Her reply, “what can I do at this time?” We weren’t bothered, all we cared about was my parents were with us and our daughter had arrived early with nothing wrong. We doted on our children and my parents on their grandchildren so how could this woman that called herself mother/grandmother not care about our children, her only grandchildren?? I honestly did not know! Our second child arrived on a Wednesday and because I’m diabetic her sugars had to be tested for 48 hours so we were only let out on the Saturday. MIL was on the phone all Saturday asking when shew as allowed to see her and we said we’d let her know but she rang and rang and rang until I gave in and said Sunday. I didn’t want her to come that early because I wanted us to get Jayne and Ruby acquainted but she threw her dummy out her pram and we let her. The day went without hitch!
After a few more weeks Maureen (Phil’s Auntie) visited with Linda and I was out with Jayne as we had a few things to drop off at my mums and sisters and when we arrived home they both said simultaneously, “we’re here to see the new baby.” I was fuming as they had directed their statement at Jayne, a 2 year old at the time. They criticised everything I did to changing Ruby’s nappy to the way I held her bottle when feeding her and along with the still raised hormones, the day quickly came to an abrupt end. I told them to leave as I was sick of their criticism every time they visited. Once they even moaned because the gravy on my roast dinner was “too thin!” An argument started and I told them a few home truths, they hated it but I wasn’t going to keep my mouth shut any longer because I was so angry that they felt the need to comment about anything and everything. You may think this blunt but how can you wipe a child’s bum wrong? It’s simple not possible… I was sick of the way they felt it OK to put my husband down about his parent, his weight and how he was always working. Wouldn’t they rather him provide for his children by going out to work or would they rather we struggle trying to provide for our children? To them it didn’t matter what we did as long as they could put us down, well, not anymore!! I wasn’t standing for it. After I threw them out Linda still felt the need to ring just so she could put us down so eventually I stopped that too because I was fed up especially as Phil had, had to go through counselling due to self harm because of his evil mother.
Ruby’s christening was organised but Phil’s family didn’t know if they were coming due to the past events (me putting them straight.) Some did arrive and we were given daggers and ignored the whole day even though we tried talking. They even arrived late and one of them was a godparent. Although the day went without a hitch it was never put to the back of my because deep down I knew they couldn’t give a monkeys about my children because they were half mine and they hated me. A week or so after the christening Linda rang again telling lies, apparently I’d had a go at her out of ear and eye shot when I never left my husbands side all day because I knew if I was left alone with her I’d have her guts for garters. She even told him that he hadn’t interacted with his family when he certainly did and moaned because Jayne didn’t sit with them; sorry but she was a 2year old that wanted nothing more than to eat the food and run around with her older cousins. She didn’t even sit with me of Daddy, now that’s saying something. After the christening we didn’t see or hear from her for a year, me and the kids that is because I didn’t want this vile woman poisoning our daughters minds. Although, every time Phil visited he would come home in tears because of something horrible she’d said about me, him or our children but because he was scared of her he still visited, each time the same result. Once she’s even told him that I couldn’t have fun because he had to work and my place was looking after the children.
The circumstance that me and my evil MIL met again was that of a bad one, a loss. Phil’s gran to be specific and I as was Phil was devastated. Phil’s a was natural but mine was because Kathleen was the only person in Phils family that I respected and she respected me. She respected me for sticking up for my husband, my children and myself as nobody else had done that to her youngest daughter but she knew I was right for doing so. The only reason I regret not speaking to my MIL is because I truly believe it killed Kathleen because she obviously loved and respected her daughter and she surely respected me. At the funeral Linda was ok but as always didn’t stand by her only son, she instead stood up for her nephew of which she always has and I truly believe that she wanted Mark (her nephew) to be her son other than Phil and what mother wishes that? Surely you should stand by your son no matter what they’ve done or how much they’ve disappointed you? I say this but I know Phil’s done nothing wrong, he’s been the loving son that any mother could only dream of having. I’m disappointed that any mother can treat their son like he’s an outsider and their grandchildren like they don’t exsist. We vow that she will never see our children again because surely if she can treather son like an enemy then she can treat her grandchildren in the same manner? I believe she can as she already started doing so before I told her how evil she truly was because she called Jayne “fat.”
The predicament now is do we invite this evil woman over when our new baby arrives? Do we invite them to the babies christening? Or do we stick to our guns? And say enough really is enough and we’re no longer taking the filth that comes out of your mouth about us and our children? Because me and Phil have decided that she will never change because if she truly cared like she says she does, she’d ring to see if her son and grandchildren are ok, even if once in a blue moon.
What would you do in our situation?