My little one will be one in April so she is up to the normal things that a one year old does, climbing, throwing things, falling over being adventure etc but the other day I had to book her in for an emergency doctor’s appointment. Any of you that are on Emma’s facebook may have seen my post about being “scared to death” I was shaking I was a mess. As soon as I knew what time the appointment was I was on over drive to get the house a bit tidier and clean.
What if they looked at her body, there are bruises all over her leg and on her back, will they think it’s me that’s done it to here? Will they understand that she is a one year old and this is what they do? Or will they think that I have been an unfit mother and let these bruises happen? I can’t stop her from doing most of the things she does as she is learning.
I would never hurt a child or an adult it’s not in my nature. But why do I think like this? Well a close friend of mine had her little boy taken off her due to the fact that there were unexplained bruises on his chest. He was put into her mother’s care for over a year.
The amount of tests they did on the house and also the checks that they did has made me paranoid, I don’t know if it’s more because I am a single parent or because it happened to someone that I never dreamt that it would happen to? Is it now because of the classes like “Baby P” that parents are always aware of marks that there children get why do we have to explain are selves to doctors or health visitors cant children be children and maybe fall over and get a bruise in an unusual place. As adults we know that we can bruise anywhere but why is it that we have done wrong straight away.
Is it that the medical staff are now so scared of missing a child that they look at everyone the same from a single parent to a 2.4 family mom that is worried about there child. I feel that this is harming children in more ways than one, parents being scared of going to the doctors because of marks or bruises that happen by a day to day accident and then they may be very ill because of it. I feel that medical staff are always looking out for wrong in me or is it because of “baby p” that it is happening?Do doctors and health visitors judge me or is it in my head? My little one will be one in April so she is up to the normal things that a one year old does, climbing, throwing things, falling over being adventure etc but the other day I had to book her in for an emergency doctor’s appointment.
Any of you that are on Emma’s facebook may have seen my post about being “scared to death” I was shaking I was a mess. As soon as I knew what time the appointment was I was on over drive to get the house a bit tidier and clean. What if they looked at her body, there are bruises all over her leg and on her back, will they think it’s me that’s done it to here? Will they understand that she is a one year old and this is what they do? Or will they think that I have been an unfit mother and let these bruises happen? I can’t stop her from doing most of the things she does as she is learning.
I would never hurt a child or an adult it’s not in my nature. But why do I think like this? Well a close friend of mine had her little boy taken off her due to the fact that there were unexplained bruises on his chest. He was put into her mother’s care for over a year.
The amount of tests they did on the house and also the checks that they did has made me paranoid, I don’t know if it’s more because I am a single parent or because it happened to someone that I never dreamt that it would happen to?
Is it now because of the classes like “Baby P” that parents are always aware of marks that there children get why do we have to explain are selves to doctors or health visitors cant children be children and maybe fall over and get a bruise in an unusual place. As adults we know that we can bruise anywhere but why is it that we have done wrong straight away.
Is it that the medical staff are now so scared of missing a child that they look at everyone the same from a single parent to a 2.4 family mom that is worried about there child. I feel that this is harming children in more ways than one, parents being scared of going to the doctors because of marks or bruises that happen by a day to day accident and then they may be very ill because of it.
I feel that medical staff are always looking out for wrong in me or is it because of “Baby P” that it is happening?
Shared with me by a mum – I have full permission to post this.
About The Real Supermum
Yes they do judge sometimes, its their job to ensure people are caring for their children correctly. Most of the time they can tell if a bruise was childs playing or if it was domestic abuse. A lot are more judgemental because of the baby p incident which I’m glad of because if they had of been in the first place lil peter would still be alive
rip little man xxxx
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I’ve been judged by a doctor before.. i wont state for what reason but looking back on it its disgusting. Nobody should ‘assume’ or point fingers without fact. That blog was a good read and i would guess the majority of women and even men can relate to being ‘judged’ by a medical practitioner.
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they do judge,often I have heard of kids being taken away over crazy things. I was in arelationship with my childrens dad, one day in an arguement, he punched me in the face, bruised half my face and chipped my tooth, i called police, had him arrested and ended it. despite this I was investigated by SS and they run checks on my children! I protected my children from DV and got put under investigation, the people that need to be investigated are thos that dont speak up as there children are most at risk
This annoys me, my eldest is accident prone. Before she was 3 she had 2 dislocated elbows, a broken nose and fractured collarbone.. I went straight to hospital but the questions start. She keeps us on our toes and I’d never do a thing to hurt her or her baby sister but people judge!
Today, my youngest (13month tomorrow) was walking holding dads hand to our sisters and she tripped and fell on her nose, it was bloody and scraped a lady walking past having not seen her fall looked at her and then at me in disgust like I’d punched her in the face!!! Really pees me off but I suppose I can see where people and the health care profession are coming from as they don’t want any more baby p’s which is understandable! x
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yes they do judge i know how you feel hun i been judged off mine my hv even talks to my dad about things yet wont come to my house to ask me
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oh of course they judge. i got judged cus i was a young mum etc. it makes u feel crap xx
hugs hun unfortunatly is this people are very quick to judge. My lo is 22 months and can be clumsy i think its just the way children are hun
xx
I have a very active toddler who is forever falling over and Im consantly terrified somebody will think something is happening she just happens to have my skin and I bruise like a peach!
Unfortunatly the world we live in everyone is judged x
They do judge and they do it sometimes too quickly but I’m quite thankful that they do. In cases like ‘baby p’ each health care professional involved was slandered for not taking any attention, so now they feel it’s best to over take attention.
my gosh yes they do!!! started when i tried breast feeding it wasnt going well so started the bottle i got the “breast is best” talk then my daughter was doing 5ox bottles every hr so i put her bottles up got the “ur over feeding” talk so decided i would put her on hungrier baby got the “its bad for her” talk in the end i just said ” do you have kids”??? no was her answer so i told her so stop judging me… my daughter is a right clumsy mare lol so she bruises and cuts her self all the time thats what kids do xx
Unfortunately these days you will get judged weva its by hv doctor also school / nursry these ppl all hav a duty to protect children an babys even if we feel it unfair or feel like we hav to explain every little mark an bruise our little ones hav :/ an this is because of all the babys an young children they havnt protected enuf an hav been badly injured or worse killed
they are only doing a job after all but az parents it also makes more worryed when our little ones get hurt but az long az we follow the protacal an hav done no wrong then we know we will be just fine xxx
Yes the do judge far far too fast..it not in your head xxxx
I was crucified by ss because my sw was dodgy and rascist ( later proven and she was sacked) but at the time the drs, hv, anyone I had seen was dragged into it in her bid to out me as a child beater etc.
My sons dislocated elbow from when his brother and sister tried to help him out of his cot when he was 18 months was brought up, my baby sons bump on his head from falling over…you would be suprised what they can make stick if they want too.
My youngest is two and a half now and if its not nailed down hes jumping on it, over it or off it. Hes exploring and I noticed tonight hes got bruises on his legs. He does throw tantrums, throws himself to the floor and objects at people but thats what kids do.
I worry in the summer with his shorts on that hes going to look mauled or something.
Drs and others are put in the position.where they have no choice but to report anything, just incase.
I took my son for his shots and he had been.crawling on the reception floor and got a bit of a dirty knee. She asked me about it, i told her. There were loads who could back me up in there and she reported me to my hv for a home check. I was terrified after ss, i dont trust any of them but the hv came out saw him crawling and climbing and told the dr to shove it.
They let the ones who need help go un noticed because they are too busy going after mums who arent doing something wrong.
Yes they do judge,I was judged for being a younge mum, then judge a it more for having 4 kids by the time I was 23, I was in care and they even admitted I’d proved them wrong… What did this mean? Did they think I would fail?
They do judge and I was a victim of that they need to see that sometimes tying to find something that isn’t really bad like a normal bruise on a active child can just be worse I should know I was placed by case workers and that is wear the real pain was it hurt every night and day being placed because they judged my poor poor mom case workers and doctors don’t have all the facts because the real danger is not when a concerned mom takes their child to get seen its when the children get placed with people they don’t truly know trust me the quiet people our the ones who need to be watched not the mom who cares to bring there child to get seen often because it only shows how much they they care about there children So all MOMS out there don’t be afraid to bring your child to get seen because if you did nothing bad GOD will see so hold your head up I will never ever hurt my kids and if they have Brusses I will take care of them by bringing them to get seen and I’m proud to show I care no matter what mark my little sweetys get by playing and running